mis-reads

I am the king of "reading-into" a tone, or an attitude, etc., from things like email or other forms of the written word. For example, my wife will send a "short" email response, and I may assume something is wrong, or she's mad at me, etc., even if in truth, she isn't. But I can read into what she is trying to project, and maybe ask too many questions...or not trust her...or simply take something personal. And we may even end up in a tizzy over something that, in truth, started at nothing but a mis-read by one of us. If I was talking face-to-face, I would know more...

It goes the same way with blogs I suppose, as I am learning.

One natural trait of mine that is both a gift and a curse is what I will call "transparency". What you see is basically what you get. If I am asked, "how are you today?" and the truth is that I'm not doing well...I'll probably say, "oh, just ok..." I try not to turn it into a therapeutic session (although I'm sure it has at times haha), but sometimes that catches folks off guard. Another example (usually with the teens I serve) is what I call, "telling folks stuff I wish I had heard when I was growing up", mostly in the faith/attitude arena. It is a gift because I have heard folks say they appreciate how "authentic" I am (I know the truth: I'm not always authentic...but who is I suppose?), or that I am not afraid to lovingly encourage and challenge folks to a higher calling. Where I get in trouble, however, is that sometimes folk aren't always wanting that, or sometimes (usually when I'm tired) I share "too much" and should just stop when I'm ahead. In fact, one joking nickname I developed in college was "The King of TMI (Too Much Information)". Another way I get in trouble with my transparency is that in my desires to encourage and "lovingly challenge", sometimes folks take it wrong, like I'm angry, or that I think they are doing a horrible job in some area. I am an encourager by nature, so I rarely am angry (frustrated? sure...but generally I am glass-half-full). But, I don't think life (especially as a Christian) is one that goes without challenge. I actually appreciate a LOVING challenge, one where even if I don't like what I'm hearing at the time, I can tell that it is being told to me out of great care and respect, and because the challenge-er simply wants me to reach a potential they must think is in me...or to help me wade through a struggle I may not be handling right. I have struggled with not being bold enough, in fact...I guess one way God is shaping me is a greater boldness and courage...but sometimes it comes back to bite...

So, If you are someone who reads this blog occasionally, thank you. I do it because, in some weird way, it helps me feel out life. And on occasion, I hear from you guys that a post made you think, which is awesome. But I post out of love and care for you guys and gals. Sometimes (and, increasingly) my passions bleed through, and if they are taken wrong (like when I read into my wife's emails...), I apologize. Also, another trait about my transparency is I have a tendency to "think out loud" as I work through stuff...and sometimes that comes out in what I write. I journey through a whole process...sometimes it's cool, sometimes it makes it seem like I'm upset, or whatever. But keep reading, because 9-times out of 10, I come full circle in a posting. It's like God uses my words and thoughts to bring me back around to a realization of the Truth. And if in some weird way that helps you, awesome. Sometimes you may feel challenged, or tempted to say, "hey, wait a dang minute", but keep reading, and be willing to possibly explore why you have that emotion...maybe something stuck a chord. Or maybe (I admit) I myself was wrong.

So, I humbly submit this post. I am a man simply trying to allow God to keep making me more like Christ through sanctification (check out Philippians 1:4-7: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%201:4-7;&version=31;), and boy, do I have TONS still to learn. I also know that what I post, I can't take back (unless I remove it or edit it really quick haha), but I don't think I've posted anything I have felt too "iffy" about (probably because I knew what I meant...) Regardless, I know some things are mis-read...

But I appreciate everyone's prayers, discussion, thoughts, and honesty. Thanks for being a part of my journey!