So a funny (sort of...) thing happened in church yesterday. I asked to give a mission trip update in front of the congregation, and I decided to let Jax join me. Lt's just say it was certainly entertaining (and MANY folks thanked my for doing that..."he sure brightened our day!"), but when we returned to our seat (in the central section of our sanctuary), we just couldn't get him to sit still, be quiet, etc. And I got increasingly frustrated/angry/embarrased. I did get up and leave with him once, but Missy came out to find us...simply put, I was too drained to deal with it, so I "removed" him.
My concern is (and I'd LOVE, L-O-V-E feedback), how can we get him "used" to church, teach him to not distract others, and at the same time not "teach" him that church is this boring, quiet, no-fun place? I want him to celebrate...to learn, and to worship. But church (I'm talking about most churches, not complaining about ours...just so you know) is often quiet...and he is not. Some would just have me "throw the hammer down" on him (figuratively of course), but I'm not sure that will get him to enjoy church... And I'm not talking about equating "enjoy" with "have fun" (stay tuned for that post...coming soon...).
And at the same time, I want myself and Missy to be able to truly focus while in a worship service. But, whenever we take Jax, it's a fight to just keep him somewhat still/quiet for more than a few minutes. And I fear we are distracting others... Most folks tell me they understand, but I don't buy it that everyone understands...and I will confess I've let my "fear of what others think of me as a parent" drive me at times.
So, what worked for you? Do we just sit in the back and patiently wait for Childrens' Church (usually about 1/3 of the way in to the service)? What if even back there he disrupts? Do we just get up and down and spank and punish until a) it's almost like we weren't even in the service and b) all he equates church with is mommy and daddy getting frustrated with Jackson?
help!
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2 comments:
Hey! Does he know what expectations you have from him while in the service? Lay it all out each week on your way to church. Give a consequence and follow through if nec. Does he have something to do? We have a "church bag" with things to do.
Don't worry about how he does in Children's Church. If there really is a sitch, they'll let you know and you can go from there.
How much of the up to Children's church part of the service is "quiet"? Does he fold his hands to pray? Fold them in your hands and whisper why you fold your hands. A little noise is OK. No one thinks of a "little" noise is a bad reflection on you. Defiance should be addressed by removal and discipline on the spot! Train him up in the way he should go...
-Erin
Set him up in the sound booth with me =P I'm sure he would enjoy that.
Not gonna lie to you Ben, I grew up in a 'Church was nap time' setting. At least when I was younger. My parents always made sure I was tired Sunday morning, and I would take a nap on daddy, I got 'accustomed' to church at an early age so the transition to a more alert, attentive form of participation was painless.
I do remember many a good nap during Dr. Mars sermons.
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