Getting Away // Mark 1:29-39

Jesus Heals Many
29As soon as they left the synagogue, they went with James and John to the home of Simon and Andrew. 30Simon's mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told Jesus about her. 31So he went to her, took her hand and helped her up. The fever left her and she began to wait on them.
32That evening after sunset the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. 33The whole town gathered at the door, 34and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place
35Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. 36Simon and his companions went to look for him, 37and when they found him, they exclaimed: "Everyone is looking for you!"
38Jesus replied, "Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come." 39So he traveled throughout Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out demons.

Stuff that stood out:

*** He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was.; verse 34: It's kinda funny that my morning reading asked me to include verses 29-34, as the "point", apparently, of the reading was to talk about prayer. I think one reason I was asked to read this part was to show that in the midst of all the "stuff" Jesus was asked to do, he still got away from it all... But this specific verse was interesting as a bit of a detour from that theme. Throughout the accounts of Jesus, there are examples of him doing/saying something amazing, and then telling the folks impacted to "shush", so to speak. I've always wondered, "Why?" Was it reverse psychology, knowing that we humans tend to NOT do what we're told (aka, when told, "keep quiet about me", we instead run off and tell everyone...you are clever, Jesus!)? I think it actually may be some of that. But the demons here (and elsewhere)? Why keep them quiet? Maybe so that his "revealing" wasn't so blatant yet? I dunno...It has just always been an interesting thing to me I suppose...

*** 35Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.: Here is what stuck out most on a personal, spiritual challenge level to me. You see, I have always struggled with prayer. Why, how, all that. Lately I have been "cool" with the great mystery of prayer and the call to do it obediently, but it still can make me wonder. Can one change God's mind with our requests? I say scripture says "no"...and when there are "examples" of it (usually in the Old Testament), I think God already had stuff in motion, he just "changed his mind" to let folks know he was listening, cared, had a plan, etc. So, I don't buy into what is called "Open Theism": essentially, that God's plan isn't all laid out yet, that we can have influence on his decisions, etc. Problem is, for so long we've been modeled prayer as almost begging God to do what we want him to... Sometimes it is for reasons as noble as healing, etc., but too often it is something petty like, "Make us to win our game tonight." Not sure God thinks it matters if your team wins...maybe, "God help us to keep our hearts and attitudes focused on you tonight in this game so that we play our hardest as an act of worship to you and as a witness to your glory."? There are examples of asking for needs in scripture, so part of the mystery is that, but it also seems those requests are sprinkled with an ultimate request for God's will to be done...

But what is the purpose of prayer, then, if it needs to be much more than just asking for what we want? I think prayer is listening to God, and at times, the words we speak are for US. We are told that the Spirit speaks (and groans)for us when we are in prayer...just what if when we "say things" to God, that is the Spirit reminding us of Truth? Of what we need to hear and remember that day? I often catch myself praying for things, asking God to give me strength, or courage, or eyes to see where he's at work where I may join in, etc., and what happens? Just by saying those things, I'm more likely to remember them that day. I think that is part of God's way to answer prayer. For example, this morning I prayed for strength, wisdom, and clarity about a situation today, knowing that God can do all that in me. And while I did feel strength at that time that I fully attribute to the Holy Spirit comforting my heart, you know how I also know God is answering that prayer? Because I am remembering what I prayed about this morning. My attitude is closer to God because I have been able to be reminded that God is granting me courage. Wisdom. Clarity. And it results in a sense of peace. Could that be what much of prayer is? The goal of peace and trust in our hearts in ALL things?

Questions for me today:

Why don't I seek to get away with God more? What am I afraid of? Is it silence? Is it really hearing God (and maybe not liking it)?

Is one aspect of prayer to just be reminded of what I prayed for, and thus walk on in faith?

Holistic Worship...but With Humility // Romans 12:1-8

Living Sacrifices
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.


Footnotes:
Romans 12:1 Or reasonable
Romans 12:6 Or in agreement with the

Stuff that stood out:

*** 1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship.: When I hear the word "worship", I confess that all-too-often I think of singing praise songs/hymns, or at most adding to those songs things like prayer, offerings, and hearing a sermon/message at a specific time once a week ("worship service"). Those things are (and absolutely should be) ways we worship the Lord. But when I encounter this verse, I start realizing that my worship of the Savior should go WAY beyond singing or hanging out in a church for an hour-ish once a week. In fact, when asked what are some verses that drive me, I must admit that this is one of the "biggies". I certainly don't live up to it, more times than I care to admit. However, I remember the first time I truly engaged this verse (aka, "not just hearing/reading it passively and moving on with my day"), it was life-shaking for me...I started realizing that things as mundane as how I stand in line at Taco Bell can be an act of worship...how I drive (and treat other drivers) can be an act of worship. EVERYTHING needs to be an act of worship...

*** 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.: I think this is key to beginning to achieve the goals in verse 1. Faith is not only at "heart-thing", it also needs to be a mind-thing. Sure, it starts in the heart, but then we must seek to allow it to spread all over, especially our attitudes and approaches toward life. I consider that often a mind-thing. As I look at my own life, it's the times when I choose to actively seek Christ through daily prayer and meditation, through active reading of the scriptures (which means more than just reading it...it means asking God to reveal Truth...and engaging it often during the course of the day...in fact, this blog is usually one way I "engage" and revisit the scriptures I've been reading...) where I start sensing and being more open to God's direction in my life. I hear so many folks wondering how they can "tell what God wants them to do". The answer? The "church answer": READ, PRAY, LIVE... Problem is that we have to choose those things...even when we aren't "feeling it"...

*** 3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought... (emphasis mine): I will confess, though...one sad "byproduct" (if you will) to when I am feeling "close to God" is an arrogance toward others who just don't seem to be getting it... Often it comes out as a frustration more than anything. Oh sure, a passion for others to surrender to and know Christ fully is a good thing, and needs to be worn on my sleeve, but great care and humility has to be sought in the process. I know I myself have had a bad "taste" in my mouth at times when I am around arrogant believers (or, what I perceive as a spiritual arrogance...), but I can be that guy too if not careful...

Questions for me today:

What parts of my life am I not treating as worship? Am I too "compartmentalized"?

What attitudes and "mind-renewal" areas do I need today?

How can I humbly be passionate about faith (and faith in others) without being arrogant or a jerk?

I'll Be There in a Sec, Jesus... // Luke 14:15-24

The Parable of the Great Banquet
15When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, "Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God."
16Jesus replied: "A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. 17At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, 'Come, for everything is now ready.'

18"But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.'

19"Another said, 'I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.'

20"Still another said, 'I just got married, so I can't come.'

21"The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.'

22" 'Sir,' the servant said, 'what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.'

23"Then the master told his servant, 'Go out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full. 24I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.' "

Stuff that stood out:

*** 18"But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.'

19"Another said, 'I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.'

20"Still another said, 'I just got married, so I can't come.': Excuses, excuses. I am the king of them. Spiritually speaking, this is something that gets us in so much trouble, and I think in our American/"civilized" society, it is all the harder. We have so many "important" things pulling at us, so many lists that need to be completed, so much criteria that must be met before we will surrender to Jesus and follow him. I think this keeps so many of us from truly being a disciple. We have had a "surface" taste of God, and we like the concept of having him in our lives, but we let stuff get in the way. Business. Worry. Fear. Sports. Relationships. Grades. Insecurities. Addiction. You name it. These are all things I need to remember, but the next few verses are what "hit me" is what really should freak me out...

*** Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.'; verse 21: Now, I certainly don't have anything against the crippled, blind, or 'lame', and it's awesome to know that Jesus cares deeply about them. But this response was given as the ones who are "too busy", distracted, etc., allowed their priorities to put off Jesus...and what does Jesus say? "Oh, it's ok...I'll be around, no worries." Oh wait, that's not what he said...

*** 24I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.': Ouch. That freaks me out. How many times have I put off the Lord so I could just do what I felt like doing, or convinced myself I was too busy to truly follow? Too many times to count, if I'm honest. That ain't good. But where this should scare more folks claiming the name Christian is that Jesus doesn't say stuff like, "Oh, it's ok...just let me know when you're ready,", he basically doesn't let them in at all. That doesn't sound like the welcoming Jesus I'm used to hearing about. But it does make me think about other similar examples that are pretty tough...like the rich guy who is asked to get rid of all possessions...and he can't. Or even the concept of idolatry. Simply put, if we really are followers of Jesus, then we should be wanting to not miss him. I am so grateful to God's grace and forgiveness in my failings, my inattention, etc., but verses like this should wake me (and others) up...

Questions for me today:

Am I making some excuses right now that are keeping me from following Jesus?

"If You Walk Away (walk away), I'll Walk Away (walk away)...I Will Follow" // Luke 14:25-35

The Cost of Being a Disciple
25Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
28"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'

31"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

34"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? 35It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.
"He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

Stuff that stood out: I think this set of verses is one of the hardest truths for me to hear. Why? Well, I'll get into it more as I break down some verses...but if I call myself a Christian, Follower of Jesus, Believer, etc., this passage is one I must hear and "digest"... And yes, the "title" I gave this posting is an old U2 song...been listening to them alot lately in anticipation of their new album :-), but I think the lyric applies here (and it's all that was going through my head as I pondered what to call this post...).

*** 26"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.: Wow. There it is. Jesus really "went there". He threw it all out there for us to see when it comes to how strong our surrender to Him must be. Jesus talks elsewhere about other things that "get in the way" of following Him, and while they are also hard (money, possessions, power, etc.), at least they are material in some fashion. But family? Friends? My own life? Oh boy... I even catch myself qualifying this list here into "rankings" of sorts. I can see possibly having to give up ones' own family-of-origin for the sake of Jesus (think, "I am a Christian now...and I can't live to please you or meet your 'dreams' for me anymore..." Someone very close to me has had to make decisions like this...). I can even see giving up my physical life for the Lord (although I realize it would be immeasurably tough to not "sell out" just to save my skin...). I think the one that would honestly be toughest for me is giving up my wife and child. What on earth does this look like? Thankfully, my family (wife/kid) are on my side as far as following Christ...but what if one day I sense God calling me/us in a certain direction...and my wife says, "Uh-uh...no way...you go do that, you might as well just keep on walkin'"? Isn't my family my primary ministry? Aren't I supposed to sacrifice all things on their behalf just like Jesus does for the Church? I know God hates and detests divorce, so if one day it's either Jesus or my family...do I just walk away and "ditch" them (and I do know people who have "divorced in the name of Jesus"...and I catch myself judging them...forgive me, Lord...?)? As I said, this is a hard couple verses...but if nothing else, it says that following Christ must truly be FIRST to a Christian. Not pleasing family, friends, others; not just trying to save my own skin and getting what I want.

*** 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him...: I also have seen this problem in my life before and thankfully the older I get I seem to get better at a) completing things and b) discerning what never needs to be "started" or promised in the first place. But I also think this speaks to those who gleefully start following Jesus in a sprint (often based on an emotion-driven "conversion experience", or being "saved" based on promises that God will "fix all my problems"...), but as the reality that yes, bad stuff will still happen to you even if you are saved, or that once you get farther from the "rah rah" environment where you were caught up in the moment and said, "Yes, Lord!", I think it is easy to stop following... I'm not trying to sound harsh (Jesus does plenty of that in this passage, haha), and I do truly affirm that Christ does save in circumstances like this. I just hope that if one's experience with meeting Jesus was emotionally-driven, at some point they hit a crossroads and say, "Ok...so I didn't realize it would be so hard..." or "Hang on, I prayed a prayer! How come I still struggle? How come my mom got sick? I thought all of that was gone!?", and will see the truth of Jesus' saving of our dark souls instead of just what "felt good" at the time or that we were saved because we were shown Jesus as some sort-of therapist that would make us "live like a champion" (heehee). Does Christ reconcile all things? YES. But on his terms, in his way...and we, unfortunately, look for it on OUR terms...and can get confused and disappointed when things are tough. Oh Lord, give me/us the strength to realize that simply the act of paying for our Sin on the cross was ENOUGH for us to fall on our face, to run to you (and from ourselves), and follow no matter what!

Questions for me today:

What "dynamic" listed here would be the toughest for me to walk away from in the name of following Jesus?

Am I a "finisher" of the things of God, or a "quitter"?

Word Up // Luke 16:19-31

The Rich Man and Lazarus
19"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. 20At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores 21and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.
22"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23In hell,[a] where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

25"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'

27"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, 28for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'

29"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

30" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

31"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "


Footnotes:
Luke 16:23 Greek Hades

Stuff that stood out:

Basically, there is a trio of verses at the end of this passage that really "hit" me. I don't mean to diminish the rest of the passage, but much of it, to me, boils down to one of the roles of the Word of God: to show God to others...

*** 29"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

30" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

31"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' ": So you have a guy here, who is like many of us, that has lived a life of plenty, of provision, etc., but is dismayed to discover that ultimately his soul was dark...and he is judged accordingly. He realizes the Truth he missed for so long, and starts bartering with Abraham to let his family and friends know what he now realizes, even in his current state apart from God. Abe says something like, "Well, they have God's Word, and if they've explored that, they should have everything they need for belief." The rich guy says, "Not enough...maybe if we throw some ghosts or magic at them they'll be convinced."

Problem is, Abraham says, "Nope...the Word is sufficient. If they've been truly exposed to it and its' message, they have all they need."

We struggle with that so often. Needing more tangible "proof" (although I'm sure seeing supernatural stuff, etc., would instead be seen as just hallucinations, etc., and thus little heart change occurs). I often think back to the time of Christ and wonder, "How on earth could all those people see the miraculous wonders Jesus performed but still not truly believe!?" Sadly, though, I think the same thing happens today. Sure, there may not be all the overt miracles, but the attitude of, "Show me something real, and then I'll ponder believing", is rampant. And I do sympathize, as I realize that only God himself could have opened my heart to his Truth, so it's "easier" I suppose for me to believe scripture, etc. But I also know of the power of God's Word ALONE to be used by the Holy Spirit to completely change some one's heart. I have several friends that were converted simply from reading scripture and being convicted of the Truth within. And as one who knows he has been saved by grace, I need to take the contents and message of scripture most seriously, even when I get confused, or even say stuff like, "That's expecting too much, God!", "How on earth could that be real", etc.

Therefore, none of us is "off the hook" once we've been confronted with the Truth of God's Word...

Questions for me today:

In what ways do I still seem to need "tangible proof" in my faith?

Do I view scripture as God's ultimate authority and current revelation to us? Is it enough for me, even if I never saw God's hand in my life again?

What do I tell others that aren't following Christ, but say, "I might if I had better proof"?

On Being Clingy

Psalm 63
A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

9 They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.

10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

I did a rare thing in this blog today. I actually had a full posting based on Romans 8:1-17 all ready to go...and I erased it. Oh, there is amazing truth in that passage, and just the exercise of writing it helped me engage that truth. But, after looking at my thoughts, etc., I just wasn't "down with it". And then, I thought of Psalm 63...

I have a verse of this Psalm (8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.) as part of my personal email signature as an explanation to its' name ("be_clingy"). People usually think of the adjective of "clingy" in a negative light. You know what I mean: "He/she is just too clingy!", as in, won't leave me alone, smothering, needy, etc. Now, I have been accused of that exact attribute at times in my life (sorry, ladies...), but when it comes to my email, I am speaking of clinging to something else...God himself. His Truth. His Promises. His perfect Plan.

Well, right now I am choosing to cling. I even went so far to post Psalm 63 on the inside of the door in my office so I can't ignore it!

You see, I think the past 3 or 4 months in my life have been one of great personal/spiritual growth (and yes, I believe those go hand-in-hand). I have re-discovered a passion for studying scripture not just for my job. I have prayed for (and seen answers) many attitudes in my life to become more Christlike. Things like being less selfish. Like a better understanding of Ephesians 5:25 as it pertains to who I am as a husband. A renewed passion to be the shepherd called at this time to the teens and their families at our church, and to help encourage their discipleship. A confidence and boldness that has sadly been lacking for much of my life as it pertains to my role as a spiritual leader. A complete, utter reliance on Christ to sustain me, to satisfy my desires, to remove the immature, sinful desires that so easily drive me...

But one thing I've noticed in this time has been that while I ABSOLUTELY can see the fruit, the answered prayer, and the growth during this time...well...the Enemy don't like it. I am as perplexed as any as to the true nature of Satan, but you know what? Jesus sure talks alot about Satan, Hell, demons, etc., so even though I struggle to explain it, sometimes even to believe it (which I should believe...too many personal examples I've seen...), I have to acknowledge it. Now, I don't know if I attribute every last "bad thing" happening to someone as directly correlated to the Devil (because, well, some stuff is on us...some stuff is just set in motion and "happens"), but I think the negative attitudes, the lack of faith, the temptations that seem to try to bash their way back into my heart...well, yeah, I think that's Satanic stuff. I need to remember several things here, but most importantly that Satan is not God's equal. I think that gets messed up in people sometimes, where they almost treat Satan as one with the same power as God. NO! God is God...Satan most surely is not. Just an angel. Still powerful? Still with lots of "helpers"? Absolutely. But not God. I need to cling to that fact as well...too often I see myself and others just "give in" because "we can't help it". WRONG. God can overcome Satan every time. I just don't think we let him...

So right now, I am clingy.

I am being clingy when everything in me wants to be impatient about some "stuff"...but I seek and choose patience...

I am being clingy when I am at my end and I go fall flat on my face in the chapel and cry out to God (this is called "yesterday about 2 pm")...

I am being clingy when, despite the temptation to be frustrated and unsatisfied with certain things, I keep seeking Truth, remembering Truth, and living my life out of that Truth...

So I choose to be clingy. Oh Lord, help me to cling to you in all things...at all times...amen.

God's Criteria > Our Criteria // Acts 9:1-19

Saul's Conversion
1Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. He went to the high priest 2and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. 3As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. 4He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?"
5"Who are you, Lord?" Saul asked.

"I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," he replied. 6"Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do."

7The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. 8Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. 9For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

10In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, "Ananias!"
"Yes, Lord," he answered.

11The Lord told him, "Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. 12In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight."

13"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. 14And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."

15But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. 16I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."

17Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit." 18Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, 19and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

Stuff that stood out:

*** 13"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. 14And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."

15But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name...: While usually this passage is one of conversion (specifically "Saul" to "Paul", once Jesus calls him), this time the banter between Ananais and God is what hit me. Ananais hears the Lord speaking, but it isn't what he would expect. God is calling him to do something that simply doesn't fit into Ananais' criteria. What is hard here is that who would fault Ananais' concerns? I mean, let's look at the criteria for him being a bit concerned with God asking him to go visit Saul/Paul: Saul a known hater of Christ-followers? Check. Saul has the authority to hunt down these followers, so it isn't just him going alone? Check. The early believers are likely hearing stories of being punished, tortured, even killed for their faith? Check. I'm sure the list could go on, but these are good. So, Ananais is kinda making sure God "knows" that what he is asking doesn't make much sense (to Ananais). I can relate. There are times (I'm even wondering if there are some things going on now in my life that would qualify) where God calls us to something, but it doesn't line up with our criteria. Maybe great risk is involved. Maybe it involves something (or...someone...) we just really, REALLY don't like. Maybe it would remove some of that thing we all seek too well: security. Or I suppose it could even involve our life itself. Who knows. I also no that if Ananais would have said no, however...well, would Paul have been the man we know today? I'm sure God could have found another way to have his plan implemented, but what things am I "dilly-dallying" with today, almost bargaining with God, looking only to the criteria I have decided on? I need to look to Ananais' example of trust, confidence, and ultimate faithfulness in following God's plan for him, regardless of the criteria he may have had, or even what others (with "good" intentions, possibly) may have told him if he had sought their counsel.

Questions for me today:

What things in my life, where God may be calling me, am I dragging my feet due to excuses?

If I need to release "my" criteria...what is God's criteria, then?

Getting Out of God's Way...and Then Getting Right Back in the Middle of It // Matthew 16:13-28

Peter's Confession of Christ
13Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?"
14And they said, "Some say John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; but still others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets."

15He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"

16Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

17And Jesus said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.

18"I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.

19"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven."

20Then He warned the disciples that they should tell no one that He was the Christ.

Jesus Foretells His Death
21From that time Jesus began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day.
22Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, "God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to You."

23But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interests, but man's."

Discipleship Is Costly
24Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.
25"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

26"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

27"For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS.

28"Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom."

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** 17And Jesus said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.: Just yet another example I see of any revelation of God coming from God himself, not by any person "convincing" me of it. Sure, others may be used by God to that end...but it was God doing it. Carry on...

*** 23But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interests, but man's.": I have often been perplexed by this passage over the years. But once I started really looking at it, I saw one thing shining through: Peter, while simply trying to protect his friend and leader, was letting his wants get in the way of what God had planned. I know this desire all too well, and I think Peter even had some noble motives here. There have surely been times in my life where I was seeking "noble things"...but they still weren't what God wanted. They may not have been sinful, or hurting others, but they still flew in the face of what God's will was. Now, Peter likely didn't understand God's design here, and surely in many of the similar times in my life, I didn't either, at least at first. But often we start sensing God's direction...and we wait. Or we complain. Or we just flat-out say "NO!" My prayer needs to be one of having ears to hear where God is leading me...and then the courage and trust to move in that direction. I need to get out of God's way...

*** 24Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.
25"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.:...and then, as I get out of God's way, I need to get right back in it. More specifically, I need to say, "Ok, God...I am surrendering to YOUR plans...so let's go, warts and all..." This, just like getting out of the way, is very tough because the concept of taking up a cross (think Jesus here...sacrifice...pain..."not my will but yours") just doesn't make us go "yay!" very often. And losing life...to find life? Say what, God? Aren't you supposed to make all things better? Make life easier and more fun? Well...no. And sadly, I know many who "became Christians" under the pretense that God would magically fix all bad situations, would heal everyone, and would make life a cake walk. Not so. If that's why I call myself a "Christian"...then I'm not so sure I am. But if I realize (due to the Holy Spirit's revelation to me) that I am naturally against God, and that only through Christ's sacrificial atonement on the Cross am I welcomed into eternity with the Lord, then it should result in my complete humility, allegiance, and surrender to Christ. And that should look like being willing to suffer for my Lord. Being willing to put my wants and desires on the back burner (and maybe even in the trash) for the sake of Jesus. Yeah, that knowledge doesn't make tons of folks (in their own understanding) run to Christ in droves. But, when God shows someone their fallen, anti-God state, lets them realize that they then deserve eternal death...but that through Christ the penalty has been paid, then it should result in a compelling motivation to take up the cross, to "lose" one's life for Christ's sake...

Questions for me today:

What are/have been some things in my life that "weren't bad"...but are/were not what God wants/wanted?

What does "taking up my cross" look like for me? In what ways do I "lose" my life for Jesus' sake?

Do I truly realize that by losing my life (wants, desires, plans), I am in fact gaining life?

The Evidence // Luke 19:1-10

Zaccheus Converted
1He (A)entered Jericho and was passing through.
2And there was a man called by the name of Zaccheus; he was a chief tax collector and he was rich.

3Zaccheus was trying to see who Jesus was, and was unable because of the crowd, for he was small in stature.

4So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a (B)sycamore tree in order to see Him, for He was about to pass through that way.

5When Jesus came to the place, He looked up and said to him, "Zaccheus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house."

6And he hurried and came down and received Him gladly.

7When they saw it, they all began to grumble, saying, "He has gone to be the guest of a man who is a sinner."

8Zaccheus stopped and said to (C)the Lord, "Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have (D)defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back (E)four times as much."

9And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because he, too, is (F)a son of Abraham.

10"For (G)the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

Cross references:
Luke 19:1 : Luke 18:35
Luke 19:4 : 1 Kin 10:27; 1 Chr 27:28; 2 Chr 1:15; 9:27; Ps 78:47; Is 9:10; Luke 17:6
Luke 19:8 : Luke 7:13
Luke 19:8 : Luke 3:14
Luke 19:8 : Ex 22:1; Lev 6:5; Num 5:7; 2 Sam 12:6
Luke 19:9 : Luke 3:8; 13:16; Rom 4:16; Gal 3:7
Luke 19:10 : Matt 18:11

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** 7When they saw it, they all began to grumble, saying, "He has gone to be the guest of a man who is a sinner.": Our ways are not God's ways. Likewise, our criteria is not (usually) God's criteria. Here is an example of that, and before I start thinking these are horrible, judgemental folks, I have to realize there are many times I approach others the same way. Just last week, I was leading a discussion of junior high students on how the Church is to be different in how we treat each other as friends than any other group out there. Yet, I asked, "Do we?" I'm not sure we do. I know there have been teens that come in our group for the first time who have a reputation at school, and some in our group don't think they are worthy to be there. "What is that guy/girl doing here?", has been muttered to me more than once. While I hope there is gladness at the opportunity to minister to that person...my guess is the real answer is usually more like, "I don't want them here. They are scum." And I don't want to just rip on the kids here...I know I can be that way, too, if not very careful and if I am too quick to forget a passage like this one.

*** 8Zaccheus stopped and said to (C)the Lord, "Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have (D)defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back (E)four times as much."

9And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house...: Is this proclamation how Zaccheus was saved? No. Is it evidence that he has come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Savior? I think so. I know it is a dicey proposition that, if not taken with great care, can delve into judging "who is 'in' and who is 'out'", but what Zacc just proclaimed here is evidence that he has been changed on the inside by Christ. It is "fruit", if you will. And i need to ask myself very often, "Am I bearing any fruit due to my being saved by Jesus? Am I compelled (without much thought) to do selfless acts of love for him? Is there an impact being made for the Lord?" Those are tough to ask oneself at times, because we may not like the answer. The hardest (but maybe one of the most necessary) questions I often ask teens are the ones that may result in some of them realizing they don't truly know Jesus...by asking them to look for fruit in their lives (evidence of a changed heart), to ask if they still let sin/selfishness drive their decisions/attitudes/actions, or asking if there is anything "different" about their core being...but it must be done...

*** 10"For (G)the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost." Myself and surely others often ask, "Why did Jesus come?" There are many reasons, but I think so much of his purpose is summed up in verse 10 here. Not just to be a "nice example". Not to overthrow the Romans (literally). And not just to do some cool supernatural, miraculous stuff "just because". He came to seek out and save. Oh sure, lots of cool things were done by Jesus, but I think the goal was seeking and saving, and those "things" were often a tool to that end. I think we need to pay attention to that. I know my own personal ministry journey has come around to a point where I think "service" and "gospel" need to go hand-in-hand. I'm not sure we need to go out blaring the message of Christ to those with great need without being willing to serve their needs selflessly as well...and on the flip side, I am coming to realize that while serving others is "nice", that the message and motivation of the Gospel needs to permeate that serving. I'm not saying we only serve those IF they will here a "gospel presentation" first...but the truth of Jesus must permeate what we do (and why). I know I've been on many service opportunities through ministries where there is little "broadcast" as to what we represent, but I am starting to think that we need to broadcast Christ better...not necessarily in a preachy way, but in a "this is real to ME and why I am doing this"-way...

Questions for me today:

How do I treat "sinners" in my midst?

Is there evidence of Jesus saving me IN me (and flowing out of me)?

As I represent and minister in the name of Jesus...what "name" of Jesus is what I serve under? Meeting needs? Saving souls? Being nice?

Real vs. Just Lip-Service // 1 John 5

Faith in the Son of God
1Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. 2This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. 3This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, 4for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 5Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.
6This is the one who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ. He did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth. 7For there are three that testify: 8the[a] Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement. 9We accept man's testimony, but God's testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which he has given about his Son. 10Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. 11And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.

Concluding Remarks 13I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
16If anyone sees his brother commit a sin that does not lead to death, he should pray and God will give him life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that he should pray about that. 17All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death.

18We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. 19We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. 20We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

21Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

Footnotes:

1 John 5:8 Late manuscripts of the Vulgate testify in heaven: the Father, the Word and the Holy Spirit, and these three are one. 8 And there are three that testify on earth: the (not found in any Greek manuscript before the sixteenth century)

Words, Phrases that Stuck Out:

*** ...everyone who loves the father loves his child as well.; verse 1: I think it's easier to just love some abstract "god" than to let that love go to this Jesus character as well. Asking one to believe that while, yes, there is a God, a creator, a "force" out there that cares and is watching over us is a nice thing that most folks would agree on. But one that is deeply involved with his creation? One that seeks us personally? One that humbled himself enough to have a "son" that was essentially God walking around with us mere mortals? That is tougher. Too, "Huh?" for many, and at times I can't wrap my mind around it, either...but I know it's true.

*** 3This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, 4for everyone born of God overcomes the world.: I think that following God's commands is something that is (or should be) a byproduct of God saving me. Not the "means" to salvation...well, some think that God's Law could be a means...if any human could actually attain it...and we cannot, so it becomes a means to expose our failings, our unworthiness, our fallen souls that are against God. Therefore, seeking God's ways and commands should flow from the believer saved by Christ alone. But outsiders look at these commands as a drag. As "no fun". I used to agree, and sure there are even seasons of my life as a follower of Jesus where I can get a case of the "I don't wanna's". But I think the evidence of Christ's hold of me comes when I realize that God's ways are best, and that when I am surrendered to the Lord, the desire to follow his wishes and actually do his wishes just sort of flows... I know my faith is not just lip-service at this point. Of course, the elephant in the room right now is that I unfortunately think there are tons of folks who would quickly label themselves as Christian when asked, but don't have a desire to follow God's commands. They are seen as a burden, as holding back what they want. So I ask: is that person's faith real? Scary question...but one I need to ask myself honestly if I catch myself looking at God's way and go, "yeah, whatever". Thankfully, God's peace in my heart and my being "unsatisfied" when I can tell I'm not in God's will are some examples of my eternal security in Christ, that I have been saved. But, do you ask those questions? Maybe we should more often...

*** 10Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart... 11And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.: If I am truly saved by Jesus, then this is the message written on my heart that drives me in ALL things. I have been given a life that never ends through the Cross. And when I remember how I was AGAINST God for so long before, and that he still went through all that on my/our behalf...it humbles me. It breaks me. Still. And it should! I pray that my life is somehow a reflection of that gift of grace...

*** 21Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.: After all that exposition, all the reminding of the Truths we need to realize and live out, it is almost like John said to God, "Ok, Lord...just one more 'nugget'. What do you want me to wrap up this letter with that will really 'drive it home'?" God said, "Hit 'em with idolatry..." Why? Because it is my/our worship and allegiance to things that aren't of God that stunts all of the "above" stuff in this chapter. When I give into my wants, I am not seeking the Lord. When my priority is money, I am not seeking the Lord. When I just want folks to like me, and am willing to do/say anything to get that goal, I am not seeking the Lord. If I seek to let Christ flow through me, I need to be confronted with (and repent from) those things that become "first" in my life. Sometimes it is obvious stuff (like the aforementioned money, or worry, or just wanting to be cool), but I need to ask God to expose the deeper stuff...the less-obvious stuff...the stuff that others may even look at and go, "What's wrong with that?" Stuff like when I make Missy or Jax my "god". Like when I do all I can to avoid others/help others when I just want to sit on my rear and do nothing (when I've already done plenty of that recently). Like when I set something in motion that is what I want to do, and I throw some "God" in front of it to make it sound spiritual...when I'm not even sure if it's what God wants... Yeah, those are the more humbling questions I must be willing to ask and face the music with...

Questions for me today:

What is the evidence in my life that proves that Christ has saved me?

What if I can't find any?

What idols are at play that take priority over Christ in my life? What needs to change?

Doubting (Insert Your Name Here) // John 20:24-31

Jesus Appears to Thomas
24Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."
26A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 27Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

28Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

29Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

30Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. 31But these are written that you may[a] believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Footnotes:

John 20:31 Some manuscripts may continue to

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."; verse 25: Oh Thomas... How many times have I seen this story and been so disappointed in you? I mean, you WALKED with Jesus in the flesh! Saw the miracles! Heard the teachings and prophecies! What was wrong with you?

Problem is that I have experienced the Lord in many real, tangible ways (maybe not as "real" as Thomas did...but I still was certain of its' reality), knowing that God was present, or speaking to to me, etc., but later on I doubt the reality of it all. I let culture's cynical, over-analytical spirit get to me. I become like Thomas, needing "concrete proof" of all this crazy, mysterious supernatural stuff.

*** 27Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.": Jesus, despite our doubt, offers his reality. I think he still can do this in my current situation, but one think I must realize is that he's shown my a ton of times already. I know the last sentence in verse 27 can look a bit "strong", but I have to be able to look back at the times I knew with certainty that Jesus was who he said he is, that God is real, is speaking, has a plan, etc. Thus, I think Jesus has every right to say it to me. When I waver, doubt all this, etc. (usually due to external circumstances that aren't going my way), I need to remember that night in 1990 when I knew that what Jeff Chandler was preaching about my sin, Christ's sacrifice, and my eternity was true; I need to remember that closing night at camp in 1995 where I heard God clearly telling me to walk up in front of hundreds of people proclaiming he had called me to a life of ministry; I must remember finally having a sense of peace about my "lack of a significant other"...even if it was to be as long as I lived...and then meeting Missy and knowing she was to be my bride (and yes, I think that was a God thing); I need to never forget the night in 2002 when I believe something demonic was going on in my apartment...and how once I prayed for Jesus to "kick it out of here"...everything changed about that situation... Weird stuff, and I know many just haven't had those experiences...but they are signposts to me, proofs to me, "Come put your hand in my side"-moments that I must remember when I waver...

*** 29Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.": I think Jesus is telling me that he realizes how tough it is to "believe" when I physically have not seen Jesus himself...but then again, have I? I mean, when have others in my life "been Jesus"?

Also, I can't help but see this as yet another example that salvation is ALL God's doing in us, not our minds being convinced with the "right" criteria or a math equation. I know that until God showed me the Truth...well, I just simply didn't know.

*** 31But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.: John is talking about the "signs" that were written on our behalf. I didn't live 2,000+ years ago, but that doesn't mean I can't see Christ. In addition to those things I listed above I needed to remember as reminders of Christ, I can always look to scripture. And then scripture, realized and written on my heart, makes it easier to see where Christ is at work in me and around me...you can see the "cycle", huh? This is why the "church answer" of studying scripture for one's own spiritual growth is the RIGHT answer...

Questions for me today:

What is usually the cause of my doubt and wavering faith? Are there some common threads I need to be more aware of?

When I struggle with faith, what things seem to help "bring me back"?

Dead or Alive? // Ephesians 2:1-10

Made Alive in Christ
1As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Footnotes:

Ephesians 2:3 Or our flesh

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts.: What is "them" here? Our transgressions and sins that every single one of us either has been driven by (or still IS being driven by) in life. As much as I've tended to be viewed as a "good guy" (whatever that means...), I know that before I was captured by Christ, despite my efforts to be "more good than bad" (aka hoping God used a gold star chart), ultimately it was easier to do the dumb, brainless, wrong things than the right thing. And I also know there have been times in my regenerated life after surrendering to Jesus where I was a slave to sin for a time, being driven be desires to "feel good" instead of a reckless abandon for God. The struggle is when we fail to realize this truth, as no matter how much I say I "get" this fact of being a slave to sin in my past life (and annoyingly at times in the current), I still catch myself comparing "up" with others on some sort of naughty list.

*** 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions...: This is just a revolutionary truth that is so foreign to us: that God, despite our deadness to him (due to our transgressions against him all the time), has so much love and mercy on us that he wants us alive again in Christ. Those last two words are the kicker, though, and we seem to miss that. We aren't alive because we follow some philosophy, or due to gritting our teeth trying to be "good". No, we are alive to God due to the payment of sin by Jesus' death on the cross. I need to grasp that more and more each day, and that is my prayer. And by that surrender, I believe that God will continue (because it started in 1990) to change my heart and attitude so that all the "good things" I try in my own power to do (usually with some hopeless notion that God will like me more as a result) will instead flow from me freely and effortlessly as I simply love the Lord more and more and...

*** 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
: Here. It. Is. Our life in God's kingdom is a gift. It is not from what we do. And since it isn't from my own energies and attempts, I have ZERO room for arrogance, or feeling like I am somehow "better" than those not knowing Jesus, or that I am more spiritual than others because I seek to live for Christ. That's tough though. I know I can get frustrated when folks around me aren't "getting it" like I'd like, and I need to just be obedient and faithful (and let God do the rest in others). But I know this realization that it isn't completing some checklist that "gets us to God" (and the relief and gratitude that should result from that) doesn't always produce fruit. Why? I think it's because sometimes we still don't really "get it". We got all emotional and said some prayer somewhere, and think that now we have eternal life with God in our back pocket "just in case" or something. As I've said before, if anything "good" comes out of my life, I pray it is a directresult of my love, gratitude, and obedience to ALL God has done for me. I was created to do good works FOR CHRIST. Oh Lord, flow through me...and let any "good" point directly to YOU.

Questions for me to ponder today:

Do I truly, truly know that before I surrendered to Jesus I was ruled by sin, evil, etc.? What should that realization do to me? If I don't seem to realize that...what evidence do I need to "get there"?

Are my "good works" just for myself, or to "look good" to others? Are they only flowing from my love for God?

Innocent Criminal(s) // Mark 15:1-15

Jesus Before Pilate
1Very early in the morning, the chief priests, with the elders, the teachers of the law and the whole Sanhedrin, reached a decision. They bound Jesus, led him away and handed him over to Pilate.
2"Are you the king of the Jews?" asked Pilate.
"Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied.

3The chief priests accused him of many things. 4So again Pilate asked him, "Aren't you going to answer? See how many things they are accusing you of."

5But Jesus still made no reply, and Pilate was amazed.

6Now it was the custom at the Feast to release a prisoner whom the people requested. 7A man called Barabbas was in prison with the insurrectionists who had committed murder in the uprising. 8The crowd came up and asked Pilate to do for them what he usually did.

9"Do you want me to release to you the king of the Jews?" asked Pilate, 10knowing it was out of envy that the chief priests had handed Jesus over to him. 11But the chief priests stirred up the crowd to have Pilate release Barabbas instead.

12"What shall I do, then, with the one you call the king of the Jews?" Pilate asked them.

13"Crucify him!" they shouted.

14"Why? What crime has he committed?" asked Pilate.
But they shouted all the louder, "Crucify him!"

15Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.

Things to ponder (really not many "words or phrases" as the whole theme seems to apply here...):

Feeling a bit different today, and there was no real "list" of things, so what hit me was more an overall theme to this morning's reading. The main sentence that stuck out as an overarching theme is found in verse 14, where Pilate asks the crowd, "What crime has he committed?"

It is proof to me that we are naturally a fallen bunch, as in the presence of True Good, what happens? We want it to go away. It's almost like a phrase I once heard uttered (and I've uttered many times since), "Mediocrity in the presence of excellence produces bitterness." Why? Well, I just think of times when I'm coasting through life in some area (and doing just fine, thank you), and when I am in the presence of someone who is an A+ in those areas, instead of being inspired, I often get bitter, or make some snide comment ("Oh, well aren't they special?", said sarcastically of course), etc. I think we often, in the presence of Christ, The Holy One, instead of falling on our faces in humility and brokenness, and then rising up in allegiance to him, doing whatever he wills, we act like the "mob" here in the Gospels that knew Jesus was innocent, but treated him like a criminal. We just can't seem to be in the presence of something this Good...it isn't in our nature. We want to be left alone to do whatever we want. Oh sure, we'll give "wanting what God wants" lip service, but often when faced with it... "Oh...never mind..."

I also see this in myself or others on the "flip side" of the coin. I know that right now, for example, I'm feeling very compelled to speak truth into the teens I serve...I mean, I have always sought that as a goal, but what I mean is to share messages that challenge us, expose that our hearts don't tend to really want God (beyond, "It's a nice concept, and the good, American thing to do I suppose...", and what many folks only seem to be interested in hearing). I am seeking to do this in a loving way, and some kids (and adult leaders, btw) seem to really be willing to take the scriptures we are exploring and ask God to expose poor attitudes, motivations, goals, and priorities...but just as many I can tell are simply not interested. I know one teen (that was not in the discussion group I was leading) was frustrated and asked the leader, "Why is it not 'ok' to just be 'ok'?", specifically in reference to one's faith and relationship to Christ. This teen likely just wants to be left alone, to not be confronted with the fact that their faith is on shaky ground...and I know I've been in that place as well at times. When we let darkness creep into our hearts, being exposed to Light is often what we don't want...

So, in closing, while this is a minuscule, selfish speck compared to how Jesus was treated, I can relate today about how I don't feel like I am doing anything wrong (in fact, I truly feel like I am responding to God's will by teaching this stuff), but how I can tell many are not fired up with me for expressing a message of confession, repentance, and allegiance in ALL THINGS (and I mean everything) to Jesus...no, some just don't want to hear it... So in a small way, I do feel a bit like an "innocent criminal"...but all followers of Jesus MUST press on, as so often the world just doesn't know what to do with the message of Christ...we just need to be obedient to the call!

Father God, keep giving me ears to hear and eyes to see your will...give me courage...and remind me that all that matters is doing what YOU want...no matter what others may think, or whether I am "liked", etc. AMEN!