Living Like God Uses a Gold Star Chart

I often, when speaking with others about things like God's grace, love, etc., like to inform people that God does not use those charts on us like elementary teachers do. I'm actually not sure they still do, but when I was a young kiddo in the 80s, I know that many teachers had "star charts", where one could get a star (or even a "level" of star...like red is ok, gold is great, etc.) based on how much good vs. bad behavior existed in you that day at school. Well, despite some of the good uses of charts like this as tools for us, I think we've messed up and started using them (in our own evaluation of life with God) as a means to an end...and scripture clearly tells us that while there may be behavior/attitude lists throughout scripture for us to pay great attention to, those aren't the means to a goal...

Ephesians 2:8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God...

That's one of the "biggie" verses used to help us realize that our salvation has nothing to do with us gritting our teeth and trying to be good, following a list, and thus getting enough "gold stars vs. no stars", ending up on the "plus" side, and earning our way to Heaven. Nope. All God. All grace. All faith...which is tough for us because we want something tangible, measurable...but God just isn't that way. This actually comforts me...but I know many struggle with it.

So, why am I deciding to actually write on this issue?

Well, the other day while on a "girls" weekend with her mom, my wife Missy bought a pretty cool "responsibilities chart" for us to use alongside Jackson, our 4 1/2 year-old. Essentially, it has magnets with various home chores, jobs, and even attitudes we can place on the board, and for each day Jax completes them, he gets to put a smiley face magnet.

But after pondering some deeper issues regarding this new chart, I realized something: If we are not very careful and proactive here, we could instill a life-focus that is not how God works in Jax...the gold star chart-view of God and us that I've been warning against.

So after some prayerful pondering (helped by the timely chapters I read this morning in an EXCELLENT book for parents, "Raising Adults" by Jim Hancock), I decided that we will need to be very proactive in teaching (and modeling...which will be harder) Jax that this new chart is a tool for him to see how he's been doing...but that if he doesn't get the smiley face, our love for him does not change. I do this because I firmly believe that the main priority for us as parents is to show (usually by modeling attitudes and actions) our son glimpses of God's love and character, and he needs to know that God does not use a chart like this when viewing him. Oh, I know some will say, "But what about the Ten Commandments and the rest of God's Law?" Well, I think that God does use those laws to show us our ineptitude without him more than say, "Well, Ben, you know, you ended life with a plus-minus rating of 5, doing 5 more good things than bad...so I guess you belong with me..." That is rough for us because the vast majority view God that way...and miss the point. We do not want Jax to miss the point.

So, as he sat in his corner of the sectional munching on cereal and watching some cartoon, I paused the TV and told him, "Hey Jax, you know that chart yesterday? The one where we picked 3 goals for you this week and you got one smiley yesterday? I want you to know something: While it is good for you to look at this chart and see what needs to be done, you must know that mom and dad love you the same whether you get 3 smileys or zero. It's good to do these things and use them as a checklist, but we love you no matter what." I said that because I think God looks at us that way when we release ourselves to him and trust in Jesus' redemption of our souls. He says, "You are mine...and while you may fail...I still love you. But remember these guidelines and challenges, as they are what's best, and I hope you choose to live them not out of some point system, but out of gratitude for how I've blessed you."

Oh, how I pray to live that way, model that, etc.! The lists of do's and do-not's are for a reason...and we do need to pay attention and pray for God to keep making us more like Christ (as he promises to do! Encouraging!). But, they should flow out of us from gratitude, not because we are trying to get a better score on the test...