On Being Clingy

Psalm 63
A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

9 They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.

10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

I did a rare thing in this blog today. I actually had a full posting based on Romans 8:1-17 all ready to go...and I erased it. Oh, there is amazing truth in that passage, and just the exercise of writing it helped me engage that truth. But, after looking at my thoughts, etc., I just wasn't "down with it". And then, I thought of Psalm 63...

I have a verse of this Psalm (8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.) as part of my personal email signature as an explanation to its' name ("be_clingy"). People usually think of the adjective of "clingy" in a negative light. You know what I mean: "He/she is just too clingy!", as in, won't leave me alone, smothering, needy, etc. Now, I have been accused of that exact attribute at times in my life (sorry, ladies...), but when it comes to my email, I am speaking of clinging to something else...God himself. His Truth. His Promises. His perfect Plan.

Well, right now I am choosing to cling. I even went so far to post Psalm 63 on the inside of the door in my office so I can't ignore it!

You see, I think the past 3 or 4 months in my life have been one of great personal/spiritual growth (and yes, I believe those go hand-in-hand). I have re-discovered a passion for studying scripture not just for my job. I have prayed for (and seen answers) many attitudes in my life to become more Christlike. Things like being less selfish. Like a better understanding of Ephesians 5:25 as it pertains to who I am as a husband. A renewed passion to be the shepherd called at this time to the teens and their families at our church, and to help encourage their discipleship. A confidence and boldness that has sadly been lacking for much of my life as it pertains to my role as a spiritual leader. A complete, utter reliance on Christ to sustain me, to satisfy my desires, to remove the immature, sinful desires that so easily drive me...

But one thing I've noticed in this time has been that while I ABSOLUTELY can see the fruit, the answered prayer, and the growth during this time...well...the Enemy don't like it. I am as perplexed as any as to the true nature of Satan, but you know what? Jesus sure talks alot about Satan, Hell, demons, etc., so even though I struggle to explain it, sometimes even to believe it (which I should believe...too many personal examples I've seen...), I have to acknowledge it. Now, I don't know if I attribute every last "bad thing" happening to someone as directly correlated to the Devil (because, well, some stuff is on us...some stuff is just set in motion and "happens"), but I think the negative attitudes, the lack of faith, the temptations that seem to try to bash their way back into my heart...well, yeah, I think that's Satanic stuff. I need to remember several things here, but most importantly that Satan is not God's equal. I think that gets messed up in people sometimes, where they almost treat Satan as one with the same power as God. NO! God is God...Satan most surely is not. Just an angel. Still powerful? Still with lots of "helpers"? Absolutely. But not God. I need to cling to that fact as well...too often I see myself and others just "give in" because "we can't help it". WRONG. God can overcome Satan every time. I just don't think we let him...

So right now, I am clingy.

I am being clingy when everything in me wants to be impatient about some "stuff"...but I seek and choose patience...

I am being clingy when I am at my end and I go fall flat on my face in the chapel and cry out to God (this is called "yesterday about 2 pm")...

I am being clingy when, despite the temptation to be frustrated and unsatisfied with certain things, I keep seeking Truth, remembering Truth, and living my life out of that Truth...

So I choose to be clingy. Oh Lord, help me to cling to you in all things...at all times...amen.