Monday, January 19, 2009

Struggling...but Not Falling... // Genesis 32:22-32

Jacob Wrestles With God 22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."
But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
27 The man asked him, "What is your name?"
"Jacob," he answered.

28 Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, [a] because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

29 Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."
But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.

30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, [b] saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."

31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, [c] and he was limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon.

Footnotes:

Genesis 32:28 Israel means he struggles with God .
Genesis 32:30 Peniel means face of God .
Genesis 32:31 Hebrew Penuel , a variant of Peniel


Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** "...you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."; verse 28 (italics mine): In this story, Jacob (with a history of struggling to trust God and having "iffy" dealings with his fellow man) sends his family away and has this encounter with a "man" (later revealed to be the Lord himself). Well, "Jake" makes it through, and God tells him the above statement. I think this is a challenge for me to seek today as well. I tend to think of myself as one who overcomes, who is not prone to worry, etc., but I'd be lying if I said that's always true. But to hear God himself tell you that while, yes, you have had struggles, that, yes, you have made it through them...well, that would be an amazing thing to hear/realize.

The other issue that hits me here is the concept of struggling with God...and God doesn't slam Jake for it. I know that I will have struggles with various "personalities" in this life (even other Christians!), with a goal of making it through...but I often struggle to admit that I wrestle with God, too, probably out of fear. I don't want God to know that I struggle with his plans, his ways, his challenges, even (in a weird way at times) his grace and love. But I often do. By God hiving Jake a figurative "high five" for coming through his very tangible struggle with God, well, that gives me great hope in my struggles. I am God's, and while we wrassle at times...instead of slamming me and threatening me with punishment...he gives me a "good game pat"? Well, when I come up on the flip-side still seeking God...I suppose so!

*** "...I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."; verse 30: Well, after writing on the first section that "hit me", this one just seems like a continuation/reiteration. We wrestle, we see God, etc., and yet we make it through. Maybe I need to think of all the times I was unsure, wavering, things like that, and realize the God met me in those places...and got me through alive!

Questions for me:

Where am I wrestling with God right now? What questions do I have? Where am I confused? Angry?

When are some time in my life I can look back on where I struggled with God...and came out ok (or even stronger)? Do I let those times encourage me...even if they were "long ago" and I'm having trouble right now?

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