Thursday, November 20, 2008

Trying to Change the Dreaded Words: "Hold On"

As I continue the journey of being the best husband and father I can be, I have felt especially convicted to be more aware of two words I've made too much a part of my vocabulary for my ENTIRE LIFE (mom and dad can attest...): "Hold on"...

I say those words like crazy. I'm surfing the web, and asked to do something..."hold on"...and the request doesn't happen for like an hour (if at all). I know it has bugged my parents for years, and my wife since we've been married, but I guess I had too much pride (and selfishness, really) to think it was that big a deal. And then you have a kid...start seeing the behavior in them...and begin to go, "Gee, that's kind of annoying! I asked you to start cleaning your mess and you said, 'Hang on Daddy', so you could finish racing your cars...for another 20 minutes...I don't like that attitude!"

Oh crud.

That's me.

So, I've been praying for some attitude change here. Now, some things truly are important and I need to be allowed to finish them (like a couple nights ago when I was frantically trying to finish cooking dinner and if I were to leave my post, stuff would burn...and momma was in the kitchen baking as well, so dang it, Jax needed to wait), and in those instances I am trying to say, "Just a minute, I need to finish ______ first", instead of just a generic, "Hold on!"

But beyond that, as a parent with the goal of modeling good attitudes/behavior to my child, I must, MUST seek humility, ask the hard question, "Where am I at fault by modeling this behavior I wish to change in my son?", and be selfless enough to ask God to change my heart. So, I am praying for the selflessness to stop saying "hold on" so much, especially when I truly am doing NOTHING (like, surfing the web mindlessly, watching Sportscenter, etc.), and just get up and complete the requested task.

Now, don't think I wish to be taken advantage of, either. I also need to pay attention to myself and if I am truly POOPED OUT, and others can help me do the task, I need to lovingly say, "Honey, can you do it for me? I really need to just sit and chill for a bit..." The key is moderation...

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