I'm Ba-ack...

(Hey Wede, I'm posting again!)

Accountants have their busy tax season...athletes have the season...my music ministry friends have Holy Week...

...and I (and most youth ministers) have summer...

There is a reason I've been absent (good? not really...this blog has become a source of spiritual refreshment, really...funny thing what sharing words can do for one's own walk with God...). As my blogging goes, so often my closeness to God goes, and judging by my lack of posts ALL SUMMER, one can figure out that busy-ness has taken it's usual toll.

Summer (so far) has had it's hight points. Both mission trips were examples of God's might. Jackson turned THREE and is growing in amazing (not just physical) ways. I also re-connected with my old college roomies from Kent St. @ TCU. That may have been one of the most joyful times I have had with folks, other than family, in a long time...I laughed harder than I have in years sharing stories. I can't believe it's been TEN YEARS since we were all in college... Life really is moving fast. There are things that happened over a year ago that still seem recent...and I suppose that is how things will be as I get older.

There have been struggles. Each summer seems to wear me out more than the last, not only physically, but emotionally... I love ministry, working with young people, etc., but I wonder how long I can keep up the "pace" needed to do youth ministry sometimes. I know people think all youth ministers do is play all day, but that is not true (in fact, the "play" stuff is one of my least favorite parts of my job!). In addition to all the planning, prepping, and implementing of events, activities, and lessons, working with teens in their turbulent lives (being a buffer between their insecurities, families, pressures, and even their relationship with God as so many of them really are confused where God fits into all this) is stressful. You try to keep them "engaged", but in today's world that often means "entertained" and if you are boring...they tell you. You try to get parents involved...and you risk getting them upset at you since sometimes they need to hear hard truths about their "baby" (and I am fully aware that my time will come on the recieving end with Jackson). Often you feel like you can't win...

Also frustrating has been Missy's continuing quest to find employment as a teacher. We have faith in God's plan and timing, but no one said it was easy. She has been taking classes for a month, and it is hard on the family. Part of me knows a bit what it is like for me to be gone on mission trips, for example. She does come home late-afternoons, but by then she is so tired she basically decompresses form most of the evening (can't blame her), and often has homework or does more job hunting. So, either Jax is witha sitter all day while I work, or I have him essentially all day (not entirely true, but at times it can feel that way). She is not at fault, as I owe her this chance to get ready for a teaching career. I'm just ready for her to be done, have a job, and move forward.

Above all, I need a true "Break". Notice the capital "B". It was done on purpose. Not just a day off (had one of those, but it was spent watching Jax, doing yardwork, etc.), but a true "getaway". I need to disappear, spend some time (if not all) alone in silence, in God's creation, etc. Maybe later this month or early September... I know I need it because a) It's obvious I'm not ready to be "back" with the teens, as on Wednesday all I felt was stress (and even frustration/indifference) while with them, b) I find it increasingly difficult to wake in the morning (not a usual trait), and c) my closeness with God is sufferiing. I can probably count on one hand the times this summer I have felt a direct connection with the Lord, and even a few of those times were short-lived. I need to come back to my Source...

So, in all that, I will seek to trust again (click here for all the places some form of "trust" is used in the NIV version of scripture: http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/?search=trust&version1=31&searchtype=all). God is good, all the time...all the time God is good... I know this...I just need to live in that reality again! If you are a praying person who is reading this, pray that you, too, will live in this realiztion!