An Exploration of "Family Ministry"

For about a year-and-a-half now, I've been in a bit of a "holding pattern" as far as seeking things that stir my heart up ministry-wise. I have still been in the arena of youth ministry, and there are absolutely still areas of teen-specific ministry give me great joy (especially seeing "light bulbs" going off, watching kids be more-and-more willing to step out of their comfort zone for God, etc.). But as far as "where to go from here"-goes, newer aspects, etc., it has been a blur.



Could it be starting to change?



Could my ministry focus, even in the world of youth ministry, be shifting a bit?



It might be. Increasingly, I am sensing a greater need to focus on true "family ministry"--not what most consider as family ministry (basically, "children's ministry", if you look at most churches), but a true ministry focusing on the entire family dynamic: both kids AND parents. Most churches have, for various reasons, basically seperated the family. It's not that they meant to break it up so much; I think they just thought about how teens, younger kids, and adults were "different". And they are! But as a result, the family got split up, and maybe more importantly, parents went into an "adult ministry" world that seemed to stray from directing parents to be the God-ordained primary spiritual teachers, leaders, and example for their family. Instead, the focus was more "self" (not all bad; we certainly, CERTAINLY need to work on our own relationship with God), focusing on personal needs, instead of intentially raising up Godly parents. Instead, "raising children to be disciples of Jesus" became about dropping your kids off at some youth ministry. And we youth ministers were (and are) glad to oblige.



I just think we've been missing something.



In a very un-scientific study made by me (basically, watching families over my past 10 or so years of youth-specific ministry), I have noticed a couple things:



1) Many (note NOT ALL) parents who are, say, 10-15+ years older than I (so, 40s and up), while increasingly are "wishing" they saw their role as parents to be a truly God-ordained call to "show their family the Way" through intentional instruction, by living their own lives as examples their kids and spouse could observe, and seek a holistic life of faith, for the most part they did not start off that way. Back in the 80s and much of the 90s, new adults were thrown into a society that was so "me" focused, material-gain focused, etc., and the lingering effects are being seen today. Oh sure, those issues still exist, but they were cultivated during that era with alarming effect. So, as a result, many true Jesus-followers born out of that era never really grasped their role as primary faith-leader in their families when their marriages started, children were born, etc. And churches didn't seem to put real energy into changing anything beyond "lip-service". So, parents would maybe pray some at meals, attend church when they flet like it-- like when it didn't fall during "deer season" (or some other animal to shoot), or if your favorite pro football team wasn't on TV at noon-- and drop their kids at the "Godly babysitting service" that is children/youth ministry, and pat themselves on their backs for doing a good job spiritually raising their families.



2) I have noticed that at increaing rates, parents who are in their 20s and 30s with young children that identify themselves as Christ-followers are not satisfied with that model. I see increasing numbers of families truly seeking (or at least "wanting to know 'how'") to make their families a place where Jesus is followed, proclaimed, and sought after in all areas of life, and thus their children at least are encouraged in that direction proactively. Slowly, churches are starting to notice, and some (usually the ones big enough to afford it) are even hiring "family pastors" whose main role is to encourage families to truly be God-focused.



Both, I realize, are vast generalizations (certainly there are plenty of older parents whose families are bathed in an environment where Jesus is King, as well as plenty of young families who don't give a rip) as far as Christian families go. But I do see it as a trend.



"What do I have to do with it"? Well, future-wise, still not sure, but in my current role, I think something new needs to begin. And I'm talking to myself as well, as one who desires to answer God's call to be the "Davis Family Minister" so my wife and kid are in an enviroment where God is the focus of all our life, decision making, how we treat others, etc.



Well, after listening to God for the past few months and working to see this through, the youth ministry is bringing in a gifted writer and communicator, Mark Matlock (http://www.wisdomworks.org/), to share his Generation Hope parent conference to our community (http://www.fumcweatherford.org/genhope.aspx). I am very excited, although I am already fighting the naysayers (both personal and "others") that would tell me that it's a "nice idea", but probably won't generate much interest. Regardless, I see this as answering God's call, and pray it will be a catalyst to something bigger: parents in our community truly grasping their God-given role to raise their families with Him permeating everything. So, whether our Family Life Center is full on Sept. 22nd, or if its a gathering of just a few, my hope is that God will start a revolution among our families...I know the Davis' want to be a part of it, at least. Stay tuned...