Seeking What's Truly Important

First off, I am so grateful to have caring, godly parents that still love their "little boy" of almost-34. While I do seek to continue to grow as an adult, I suppose I've been raised to be willing to swallow my pride and seek wisdom (instead of gritting my teeth all the time and just "doing it all myself"), and I'm grateful I can go to my mom and dad seek their counsel, knowing they will always listen, always encourage, always gently challenge, and always give me Truth...so thanks to them...without it, I may not be as willing to remember "hope" as I am this morning...

It has been awhile since I've "worked on my soul", I confess. I often read facebook profiles of friends, and see their personal "favorite book info" and read things like, "Really, the Bible is the main book i get into...", and go, "Aw, crap...why can't I be like that right now?" But I've just let busyness and external circumstances take over too much these days. The non-stop-ness of summer. "Wild cards" thrown in my path that mess up my "system". Frustration over my wife's lack of finding meaningful employment as a teacher. Various other uncertainties...you catch my drift. But yesterday afternoon I sensed God telling me "STOP! Be with me..."

So I picked up a book by Doug Fields called, "What Matters Most". It's main premise is about becoming able to say "no" more often, as opposed to being a non-stop people pleaser and saying "yes" to all things, and thus sacrificing the things that matter most. Now, I actually think I'm ok at saying no, so while there may be some of that still in the book for me to digest, I'm not sure if I'm a guy who is always saying yes blindly. But, the book does also deal with how we sacrifice our souls for the sake of busyness, almost trying to convince ourselves that if we "do" alot (even in the name of Jesus), we are doing right. But I don't think that's the case...

I've seen myself and others be too effected by all this, this quest to just "do more" and how it dulls our true hearts for God and God alone. The youth pastor that adds more and more programs, events, and meetings who thus sets himself up for failure as the expectations and requirements to keep the machine going result in no personal time with God, a lack of passion to truly worship, and a "throwing under the bus" of family and friends. The Christian that works so much that when faced with a decision of work, God, and friends...God gets thrown out. The mom who goes from point a to point b to point z-squared, and has allowed herself to get that busy when she maybe should have asked for help from others so she could focus on restoring her soul a bit.

Well, all of those have been me. I've fallen prey to "doing", to trying to meet often unrealistic expectations I have for myself (or that I think others have for me...and they are likely often unfounded), and to getting so "meh" in my seeking of God as a result that even when I am able, I choose not to... So, I am asking God to restore my soul, as scripture says He will...I am seeking to find peace again...and I am going to remember all those truths that I've known and trusted in the past.

Back to my parents, there is a story many know of a time several years back where I was in a time like this, kinda being "mopey", etc., and I told my mom, "Momma, I know right now every fiber in your being wants to throw about 57 scripture passages at me...It's not that I don't believe them, but I just don't want it right now..." The next day in a pseudo-accountability group, I told them about that conversation, and a member, one of our pastors and my personal friend Gary, smiled at me and said, "But Ben, Truth is Truth and if you say you believe it, it doesn't matter if you don't feel like hearing it or not."

To this day I am eternally grateful for that word of wisdom and challenge! I have never been so ho-hum about God's truth again...even if I struggle to be motivated to seek it like I have been lately.

So, I am going to spend time with the list of scriptures my mom sent me yesterday, remembering what Gary said.

Finally, Doug Fields, in the book I'm reading, shared a passage from Jeremiah in the Old Testament that I'll leave you with today that has really made me ponder: This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." (Jeremiah 6:16)

Are you needing to stop and look around like I do right now? Are you seeking ancient paths that you profess to believe and have faith in? Are you seeking God's good and perfect "way"? And are you heading in that direction (and thus finding peace in your soul)? That is my prayer for myself and any of you who are with me...