Sometimes, in moments of introspection and conviction, do you ever notice how often our personalities can be "both extremes" in certain areas? For various reasons I've been thinking of the areas "people" see...and then how utterly opposite I can be at times. So, in the spirit of humility, confession, and even catharsis, here are some areas that I am "known for", but am often the opposite:
***Laid Back. These folks have never seen me right before a big event I have been prepping for... Want to just chill out during "pre-mission trip week"? Be very careful... at best, I may just be "absent"...at worst, downright hurried and rude.
***Patient. I do tend to be able to wait in lines, give folks second and third and eightieth chances, but boy, can I lose my patience with my son. And I'm not talking like, "Man, he's just been pushing my buttons all day, so I've had enough." Nope, I 'm talking about not even giving him a chance, losing my cool when he's really not doing anythong wrong (and I just want to be left alone). Happens more often than I'd care to admit...
***Nice. In fact, I often hear "too nice." But I can be a jerk. Just ask Missy, say, in the middle of the night when asked a question (or when I'm trying to watch somthing and I want to be unbothered...), or that parent I was just trying to make "fun banter" with last week...and I ended up bashing his choice of tennis shoe...STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! :-)
***Content. This may go some with "laid back". I am seen as one who complains little, who seems fine and dandy all the time with whatever. But I can complain with the best. Whether it is frustrations with ministry stuff or certain folks or the town I live (or even-GASP!-my family), I can grumble with the best. Sure, I may have a habit of seeking and following God's will, but always joyfully? That's an area of maturing I could surely use...
I'm not trying to beat myself up here. Quite the contrary. I'm actually chuckling a bit as I write! My guess is that some of you have the same feelings about yourself...knowing you aren't as cut-and-dry as some folks think you are. But I don't get too discouraged. Why? Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. If I truly believe I am a new creation due to Jesus's death and resurrection, then I am a work-in-progress. And while that shouldn't give me license to continue fostering not-great attitudes, it does give me hope...to know that the Creator of All Things cares enough about me to continue molding me, shaping me, and yes, pruning me to be more like Jesus himself...a process called sanctification...
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