Rollercoaster (of Life)

Life will always be filled with ups-and-downs. I know that, and I also fully acknowledge that many great things happen at both ends of the "life rollercoaster". That doesn't change the fact that sometimes I get annoyed at how my attitude, my closeness to God, how I treat others, etc., seems to never be able to stay "up high" for too long a time period. Oh sure, I will have a few weeks where, even if there are some cruddy "life circumstances", I just have a burning desire to know God more, to be more like Jesus, to dive into scripture, pray, etc. But then, without warning, I will dive down the "hill" and basically not give a rip about my closeness with God. Now, thankfully I have usually enough built-up "God stuff" going on so I can just hang on to my faith enough to get by, to still love people enough to serve them, etc., but eventually ugly things start coming to the surface, and it is just not that great a thing. Lately (last week or two) I have been in the "downward trend", begging God to get me out of it (He always does!), but it seems like my patience is thinner, I let things bug me more, and I have a general "meh" attitude towards the sacred in life...not completely gone, but just a lack of passion I guess.

So, what things keep me hanging on?

I know that God has a plan. (I greet you with the great words, grace and peace! We know the meaning of those words because Jesus Christ rescued us from this evil world we're in by offering himself as a sacrifice for our sins. God's plan is that we all experience that rescue. Glory to God forever!---Galatians 1:1)
I know that I am being molded, shaped, and taught things that God wants me to remember, even when I don't seem to care. (With your very own hands you formed me; now breathe your wisdom over me so I can understand you. When they see me waiting, expecting your Word, those who fear you will take heart and be glad. I can see now, God, that your decisions are right; your testing has taught me what's true and right. Oh, love me—and right now!—hold me tight! just the way you promised. Now comfort me so I can live, really live; your revelation is the tune I dance to. Let the fast-talking tricksters be exposed as frauds; they tried to sell me a bill of goods, but I kept my mind fixed on your counsel. Let those who fear you turn to me for evidence of your wise guidance. And let me live whole and holy, soul and body, so I can always walk with my head held high.---Psalm 119:73)
I know that God is faithful. ("God, God-of-Heaven, the great and awesome God, loyal to his covenant and faithful to those who love him and obey his commands…---Nehemiah 1:5)
I know that He is truly written on my heart, as even in the "down" times I catch glimpses of His goodness. (I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don't quit. I'll say it again: Stay with God.---Psalm 27:13)

It is those things that make me grateful for the "hilltops", when I do devour scripture, read books, seek spiritual conversation, and intentionally strive to "be Jesus" to folks. One thing I try and encourage those around me to do is spend time with God (in their own way, there is no formula, but we do have great "tools" like prayer, scripture, devotional books, art, etc.), but often I get blank stares looking back at me, or attitudes of, "That's just too hard", or, "I get bored". Well, it is times like this where my intentional seeking after God comes through, providing the small voice that keeps me at least comewhat close to "home" when I really don't feel much like being there...