Seeking What's Truly Important

First off, I am so grateful to have caring, godly parents that still love their "little boy" of almost-34. While I do seek to continue to grow as an adult, I suppose I've been raised to be willing to swallow my pride and seek wisdom (instead of gritting my teeth all the time and just "doing it all myself"), and I'm grateful I can go to my mom and dad seek their counsel, knowing they will always listen, always encourage, always gently challenge, and always give me Truth...so thanks to them...without it, I may not be as willing to remember "hope" as I am this morning...

It has been awhile since I've "worked on my soul", I confess. I often read facebook profiles of friends, and see their personal "favorite book info" and read things like, "Really, the Bible is the main book i get into...", and go, "Aw, crap...why can't I be like that right now?" But I've just let busyness and external circumstances take over too much these days. The non-stop-ness of summer. "Wild cards" thrown in my path that mess up my "system". Frustration over my wife's lack of finding meaningful employment as a teacher. Various other uncertainties...you catch my drift. But yesterday afternoon I sensed God telling me "STOP! Be with me..."

So I picked up a book by Doug Fields called, "What Matters Most". It's main premise is about becoming able to say "no" more often, as opposed to being a non-stop people pleaser and saying "yes" to all things, and thus sacrificing the things that matter most. Now, I actually think I'm ok at saying no, so while there may be some of that still in the book for me to digest, I'm not sure if I'm a guy who is always saying yes blindly. But, the book does also deal with how we sacrifice our souls for the sake of busyness, almost trying to convince ourselves that if we "do" alot (even in the name of Jesus), we are doing right. But I don't think that's the case...

I've seen myself and others be too effected by all this, this quest to just "do more" and how it dulls our true hearts for God and God alone. The youth pastor that adds more and more programs, events, and meetings who thus sets himself up for failure as the expectations and requirements to keep the machine going result in no personal time with God, a lack of passion to truly worship, and a "throwing under the bus" of family and friends. The Christian that works so much that when faced with a decision of work, God, and friends...God gets thrown out. The mom who goes from point a to point b to point z-squared, and has allowed herself to get that busy when she maybe should have asked for help from others so she could focus on restoring her soul a bit.

Well, all of those have been me. I've fallen prey to "doing", to trying to meet often unrealistic expectations I have for myself (or that I think others have for me...and they are likely often unfounded), and to getting so "meh" in my seeking of God as a result that even when I am able, I choose not to... So, I am asking God to restore my soul, as scripture says He will...I am seeking to find peace again...and I am going to remember all those truths that I've known and trusted in the past.

Back to my parents, there is a story many know of a time several years back where I was in a time like this, kinda being "mopey", etc., and I told my mom, "Momma, I know right now every fiber in your being wants to throw about 57 scripture passages at me...It's not that I don't believe them, but I just don't want it right now..." The next day in a pseudo-accountability group, I told them about that conversation, and a member, one of our pastors and my personal friend Gary, smiled at me and said, "But Ben, Truth is Truth and if you say you believe it, it doesn't matter if you don't feel like hearing it or not."

To this day I am eternally grateful for that word of wisdom and challenge! I have never been so ho-hum about God's truth again...even if I struggle to be motivated to seek it like I have been lately.

So, I am going to spend time with the list of scriptures my mom sent me yesterday, remembering what Gary said.

Finally, Doug Fields, in the book I'm reading, shared a passage from Jeremiah in the Old Testament that I'll leave you with today that has really made me ponder: This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." (Jeremiah 6:16)

Are you needing to stop and look around like I do right now? Are you seeking ancient paths that you profess to believe and have faith in? Are you seeking God's good and perfect "way"? And are you heading in that direction (and thus finding peace in your soul)? That is my prayer for myself and any of you who are with me...

Why Fall is my Favorite Time of Year REMIX

To steal from Jon Christopher of www.stuffchristianslike.net (go there NOW!), since I am inspired by freakishly cool weather for mid-August (a high of 81 today? In North Texas on August 19?), I am going to post a "remix" of one of last years' posting. I call it a remix because while much of it will remain unchanged, I may "update" a few parts (or add comments, or whatever). Enjoy!

Why Fall (aka Autumn) is My Favorite Time of Year

Recently I was asked what my favorite season is. Below are some "haphazard, off-the-cuff" reasons the time from late-September thru late-December is my choice (in no order):


Two words: football (especially when some of the northern games start having snow). And it seems like this year (2008), I am even more geared up than normal, checking out pre-season games, etc.

I love leaves changing colors...where I grew up (Houston) this doesn't happen as much, but in N. Texas it at least happens a bit more, and it's great. So beautiful.

My weekly routine gets more "normalized". Summers are simply CRAZY in my life as a youth minister. Don't read that as "bad" or "unbearable", just crazy... Any personal schedule is basically thrown out due to events happening at all times, several big events to plan and run, etc. Fall in this youth minstry does take alot of planning (maybe more this year than normal with some re-done/new stuff), but still, once September gets rolling, most weeks "look the same"...and it is a welcome change.

My favorite "weather day" is partly cloudy (maybe even a bit overcast at times, but still "bright"), breezy, 40s in the morning and upper 50s and 60s in the day. Clear, cool nights where a fire can be burned. And in 2007, many fires were burned in our upgraded fireplace...looking forward to it again in 08!

I love how the weekly cool/cold fronts start coming down late-Sept., and how the first "real one" knocks high temps into the 70s...and how everyone acts like it's freezing suddenly (sweatshirts, etc.). Ironic thing is within two months, 70s are "hot". And last fall (2007) was warmer than normal...so I'm hoping for a cooler 2008.

My favorite month in general is in the fall: November. Weather is all over the place: sometimes still warm (but not hot), occasional storms, leaves blowing, and even the shot of the true "cold blast", with wintry precip a chance. Nov. also has my fave holiday: Thanksgiving. In addition to the best average weather guarantee of any holiday (to me at least), I love the food, being with family, the football games all weekend, and I also get to usually see my old friends from home. Oh, and as long as Aaron (best childhood friend) is in town, PUNTBALL (I'll explain that sport we created soon..hopefully after I get to play it this year as I don't believe we did in 07...BE IN HOUSTON THIS YEAR, AARON!). And best of all about Thanksgiving to me? The stress of "Christmas time" doesn't seem to exist (I love Christmas, too, but for some reason that is often a stressful time...lots of travel, making sure everyone is "seen", parties to plan, etc.). Turkey Day still retains at least some "laid-backness", even though tons of folks are around.

Baseball Playoffs. I do enjoy baseball, but I love the playoffs. I enjoy few things more than getting home on a cool night, letting the breezes flow through our house (windows open, of course), eating dinner, and watching postseason, INTENSE baseball. I don't even care who the teams are. I will admit that for some reason my 2007 "baseball playoff passion" was a bit more subdued...we'll see about 2008.

I love going to the Castles' (my in-laws) house in the fall. It will be somewhat different this year as the Castle's moved into a new house, but I bet it will still be enjoyable. Jeannetta decorates a ton, it still has a yard with trees, etc.. I love raking big piles of leaves (due to the trees) and letting Jax go crazy in them. Also, one of my fave things to do with Dennis is go in the garage while he's "tinkering around" (and the door is always open), wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, and watching/talking college football (there is a TV out there). That didn't happen much in 07...so hopefully it will more this year.

I get to wear "my uniform" in comfort: jeans and a long-sleeve t-shirt. If it's cool enough, I can even wear one of my beanies...

Daylight Savings Time Ends. For some strange reason, I like it being dark at dinner time...well, not too dark (aka if it's been cloudy or rainy a ton...then it's just depressing...)

I get to start watching the Charlie Brown Specials (either on TV or DVD), with no reprocussions. I just love those...and so does Jax. Something about the song "Linus and Lucy" makes my heart smile...reminds me of the innocence of childhood. In fact, if nailed down to truly find the song to represent "me", it would be "Linus and Lucy" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio.

Halloween is fun again since I have a child now. Plus, one of the great things about Weatherford is a GREAT trick-or-treating street called Lee that is wide, on a slope, with old homes and big porches that get all decorated...HUNDREDS of families out in a safe environment. Whenever we decide to leave Weatherford, that night and street will be one of several things I will truly miss.

Fall colors/decorations. Pumpkins. red/brown/orange/yellows everywhere (I love earthy colors). Candles that smell great (one of my favorite smells is "spice", like pumpkin spice or cinnamon).

You get to start some of the "Christmas Stuff" before the season gets too crazy. Lights, trees, other great smells (another favorite is "pine/christmas tree"). And I LOVE going to places like Garden Ridge Pottery and just walking around the Christmas section (or other stores with huge holiday sections).

MLS Cup in November (hopefully either FC Dallas or Houston Dynamo are in it this year!)

That's all I can think of for now...but I am READY for fall! It's just too warm still...so cold fronts: COME ON DOWN!

walking...to lose weight?

I LOVE to exercise. Cycling and weights, specifically...but in my busy life, those things rarely happen, if ever. In addition to the fun I have exercising, due to my body type/metabolism/genes (probably), it is somewhat of a neccesity. In fact, compared to some I know, I seem to need to exercise a bunch more for seemily less "effect". Sure, I am not really psycho with my diet, and that likely plays a part, but I generally try to watch at least somewhat wvat I eat...

So a few years back I tried jogging. If you must know, it isn't my favorite thing, but I figured I got "more bang for my buck" (you know, run really hard for 20-30 min, etc.). It did help me lose a bit of weight and I felt better/more fit overall, but I have essentially "lived" in the 180s for a few years...despite regular exercise. Well, a couple weeks I pulled my left calf muscle. I tried to tough it out on a couple runs, but both times I had to stop about 15 min. in as I could no longer continue...

So, I decided to start walking instead (you know, "speed walking"). All last week, I would get up at my normal time (6 am), get dressed, fire up the ipod, and go walk. Only main difference is that I would go for longer, more like 40-45 minutes. On Friday (my day off), I even went out to a trail nearby and walked for an hour or so.

Well a funny thing happened: I lost 3+ pounds since Friday! And I certainly didn't eat "good" over the weekend...

What is going on????

I am the king of yo-yo weight...it is obviously easier to gain, but I can gain like 5 lbs. over thanksgiving, but i can lose it all back in a couple weeks... I even have a history of big swings. In 1994, I went all psycho (diet and exercise) and lost over 50 lbs. I stayed in usually decent fitness for like 7 years, until I (of course) got engaged, and for some reason I "forgot" all that discipline when I moved to houston pre-marriage (Missy was still in Ft. Worth) and popped up like 40 lbs again. I basically ballooned due to less exercise and a lack of discipline. So thankfully (and slowly...probably a better method) I did drop about 30 again...and have been able to stay generally there for 5 years or so. So we'll see...

drums...drums in the deep...

(I just like how Gandalf reads that line in "The Fellowship of the Ring", when they are in Moria...)

I play drums. (Duh, you say...just look at your profile picture!) I'm not a particularly good drummer (I am my own worst critic), but it's something I enjoy. I mean, I suppose I can hold my own on many songs (and can-in often "simplified" versions, mind you, imitate certain styles and drummers when needed), but I'm definitely not some guru like my friend Aaron. If held down and forced to give "personal influences" (aka, drummers that are my "default style" when I'm not overtly trying to imitate someone, or when I just add some personal flair to a song), I would say Alex Van halen...I just notice his style, intensity, fills, etc., sounding a bit like what I tend to do...

The funny thing is how I catch myself truly "losing myself" in a worshipful (of God, not me...hopefully...) sense as I drum. I certainly think worshipping God is WAY BEYOND just songs/music (Romans 12:1-2 is a "life-verse" of mine that I prayerfully seek: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%2012:1-2&version=65), but I do enjoy a good worshipful moment in song. Yet, I've never been a singer, guitarist, kazooist, etc. But with drumming, I just seem to lose myself. It is a funny feeling...almost second nature...very cool but hard to describe...

I started drumming at age 15 (essentially figuring out the basics of drumming on Aaron's new "Thunder" set from Sears...before he even did ha!), but did not actually own a personal drum kit until I was...28? 2002 I think it was... I essentially did not drum AT ALL between 1993 and 2002...but my wonderful wife Missy surprised me for my 28th birthday by rounding up some cash from family members and purchasing a used Tama Superstar set. A black one :-). It wasn't new, and had some "pieced together"-ness to it, but I love it. It has character. Aaron even did some research beforehand and learned that my type of set was one of the premier sets of arena bands in the 70s and 80s...so I figured it was a good one. Over the years I've added stuff (like a splash, double-bass pedal, and I now would like to acquire an additional crash cymbal...someday...), and I've had to add some duct-tape in places (I'm calling it "FrankenDrums", kinda like Eddie Van halen's pieced-together guitar he built and used exclusively back in the day), but like I said, I still love 'em.

Lately, I've had the privilege of teaching two teens the very basics of drumming (coordination, basic beats/rhythms, fills, transitions, tempo, etc.)and it's been a joy to see their confidence and creativity grow. Ultimately, even though I DO have a ball playing drums for our youth band, ParadigmShift, I would love to transition out of the primary drum throne and hand much of it over to one of these two (or other teen drummers). But for now, I get to be the old guy who rocks out with the kiddoes.

Someday, though, I would LOVE to be in a garage or cover band with some other folks refusing to stop the rock despite advancing age :-). In fact, I was drumming on the dash of Missy's car recently to a Metallica song ("Wherever I May Roam", if you must know) as Missy drove down the highway...and I saw a smile on her face. "You want me to be in a band, don't you?", I asked. "Uh-huh" she said.

So if anyone in the Parker County/W. Tarrant areas wants to jam to bad 80s arena rock, let me know! Muwahahaha....

i am a christian mutt...(UPDATED)

I get something in the mail every couple months called The Journal of Student Ministries, www.thejournalofstudentministries.com. In a recent issue, the editor, Will Penner, shared something about himself in his editorial section that I totally resonated with. Will called himself a "mutt" when it comes to his Christian tradition/denominational make-up. I am the same way...

I have been a part of (or at least "around") several different areas of Christian tradition. I grew up going to a Methodist church (until I graduated high school), but didn't know why. In fact, while I became a Christian at age 16, it was not at our home church; it was at a non-denominational weekly youth gathering (of course, I went because of a girl...and lookie! I met Jesus! haha...proof that God can even use bad motives...). In my college/grad school years (1993-2001), I bounced around for a couple months before spending large chunks of time at two seperate non-denominational churches (but both loosely associated with Dallas Theological Seminary...so in ways they were almost like a part of the "DTSian Denomination"). The first one was where I felt led to be (re)baptized (I know, I know..."re-baptized"? A long story...) and was under the tutelage of a great college pastor (who now is a lead pastor at a church nearby...fun to run into him now and then!), and later I ended up at a different church as a youth ministry intern. During my time at church "A", i worked a summer at what could be best described as an "inter-denominational (many represented) sprots camp", but that was pretty evangelical in thrust. While at church "B", I attended a Baptist Seminary. Then, after graduation, I have served at two different churches, both Methodist.

Why talk about this? Well, it's just an interesting thing to me I suppose. There are times I'm grateful for my "mutt-ness", and there are times I get frustrated. So, here are my unscientific pros and cons to being a Christian Mutt:

PROS:
***Well, it does allow me to "speak the lingo" of lots of different traditions, and as a result, I can flow within them fairly well. I can not be completely lost talking to my Baptist friends, for example...

***Along those lines, I can also participate in discussions involving the theological diversity and nuances between traditions to a degree. Just nice to have in my back pocket I suppose.

***I can appreciate (because I've been a part of them myself) lots of the great things each tradition brings to the table. Baptists are passionate about evangelism, DTSians are passionate about theology, Methodists are passionate about service and justice...all are great things in themselves, and I try to "mix" them alot in my own life as opposed to just being stuck in one tradition because "I don't know any better..."

***I can often "defend" each tradition, as those who know-no-other-way can be quite narrow minded... As a result (like my above pro), I often defend the Baptists, the non-denoms, and the Methodists when confusion/frustration is reigning surpreme, because there are great things we can learn from each other and appreciate.

CONS:
***Because I am a mutt, often I feel "left out" when I do find a tradition I'd like to be a part of...because I'm not a "lifer". I'm not "reformed" enough for many non-denoms, or I'm not "wesleyan" enough for many Methodists. This has reared it's head a few times...

***People want to take sides. It's just our human nature. I struggle to side "one way" all the time though. I've been given this wierd, sometimes annoying, trait of being able to "see and appreciate multiple sides" on certain issues (certainly not all issues...). But people don't like that. They tend to want you in...or out. Now, they may be polite about it...but one time, for example, before I was called to my current position, I was a finalist for a position at a church I really wanted to serve at. Now, I affirm God's calling me to this current place, so I'm not complaining or wondering "what if?", but I think in the end, I just wasn't "enough" of something they wanted. You see, I had to read and respond to each point on something like a 50-part "statement of faith" this church had. (It may not have been 50...but it was alot). I resonated with many of the (at least what I consider) essentials, but some "other" stuff was in there I was a bit more iffy on...or, even if in agreement in principle, didn't think it was stuff to be "defined" by. As a result, I may not have fit their mold, or their side. But it gets me in trouble serving in a Methodist church as well. Occasionally I'll discover a doctrine I don't agree with (and just keep quiet about), or I will choose to take our teens to a non-or-inter denominational camp/event/conference instead of the "Methodist one" because, well, I think they are often of better quality. But I have been pressured at times as a result to do the Methodist thing simply because, well, I serve at a Methodist church. But my "mutt-ness" makes that tough at times...because I want what's best...

I at times do wish things were just "easier" and that I did have a loyalty to one "brand" of Christianity...because it gets confusing at times. As you just read in my two above "cons", I just don't fit. I am grateful for those folks in each tradition who have treated me with respect and grace (and there have been many!), and I trust that god knows what he is doing by calling me to traverse this often winding path...it certainly make things interesting and adventuresome!

*UPDATE*
I just looked back at the last few of my posts...wow, it makes me look really like I'm searching for things to rant about, be negative, etc. I actually feel alright. I guess the nature of all this a)open-ness and honesty and p) just things I ponder alot, and wonder if I'm alone in the ponderings...

So, blessings to all you reading this random mess of stuff that comes out of me. I pray it makes you think and ponder...

I am a person of opposites...

Sometimes, in moments of introspection and conviction, do you ever notice how often our personalities can be "both extremes" in certain areas? For various reasons I've been thinking of the areas "people" see...and then how utterly opposite I can be at times. So, in the spirit of humility, confession, and even catharsis, here are some areas that I am "known for", but am often the opposite:

***Laid Back. These folks have never seen me right before a big event I have been prepping for... Want to just chill out during "pre-mission trip week"? Be very careful... at best, I may just be "absent"...at worst, downright hurried and rude.

***Patient. I do tend to be able to wait in lines, give folks second and third and eightieth chances, but boy, can I lose my patience with my son. And I'm not talking like, "Man, he's just been pushing my buttons all day, so I've had enough." Nope, I 'm talking about not even giving him a chance, losing my cool when he's really not doing anythong wrong (and I just want to be left alone). Happens more often than I'd care to admit...

***Nice. In fact, I often hear "too nice." But I can be a jerk. Just ask Missy, say, in the middle of the night when asked a question (or when I'm trying to watch somthing and I want to be unbothered...), or that parent I was just trying to make "fun banter" with last week...and I ended up bashing his choice of tennis shoe...STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! :-)

***Content. This may go some with "laid back". I am seen as one who complains little, who seems fine and dandy all the time with whatever. But I can complain with the best. Whether it is frustrations with ministry stuff or certain folks or the town I live (or even-GASP!-my family), I can grumble with the best. Sure, I may have a habit of seeking and following God's will, but always joyfully? That's an area of maturing I could surely use...

I'm not trying to beat myself up here. Quite the contrary. I'm actually chuckling a bit as I write! My guess is that some of you have the same feelings about yourself...knowing you aren't as cut-and-dry as some folks think you are. But I don't get too discouraged. Why? Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. If I truly believe I am a new creation due to Jesus's death and resurrection, then I am a work-in-progress. And while that shouldn't give me license to continue fostering not-great attitudes, it does give me hope...to know that the Creator of All Things cares enough about me to continue molding me, shaping me, and yes, pruning me to be more like Jesus himself...a process called sanctification...

Forget MySpace...Facebook is Better! (and a fun story from Sunday)

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=593982477



Yeah, I got a Facebook account. You can blame Jason Howeth, a guy who was in the Chapelwood youth ministry while I was there, for convincing me to join up. It's kinda fun, although thankfully the "traffic" is starting to slow (for about a day I seemed to get an email every 5 min from some old friend or youth that I had lost touch with...but found out I was now on Facebook). It's been fun, but for awhile not much "work" was done...



That brings up my fun story from Sunday: So we're in Sunday School, and I've just begun the actual lesson (after announcements, etc.), and this tall guy walks in. I catch him out of the corner of my eye, assuming it's a visitor and I prepare to welcome him. He just stops and stares at me...and I realize, it's Jason Howeth. Now, you need to know that Jason was "that kid" my first two years at Chapelwood UMC: you know, the one you wanted to "punt" about every five minutes. I was able to see him grow in his faith, though, and when I left, even though he wasn't in the jr. high ministry I was overseeing, you could see the positive changes, the growing up, etc. In fact, I've often used Howeth as an example to my current gang of teens I shepherd as proof that God can work on "that kid"...and all ends up well! Jason spent much of Sunday catching up with Missy and I, getting to know Jax, etc. good times.

Coolest Things I Experienced This Year (in no order)

2006...another year in the record books. Why not have a fun look at the various things that were "greatness" in some way or fashion in the life of "me"?

*** Jr. High CTCYM trip to Kingsville, TX: All mission trips (in my book) have definite worth, but let's be honest: some are just more "wow" than others. This was my first experience on a Jr. High trip that qualified as WOW. Everything was just so great. The kids learned so much, served so graciously, and truly God was present. I was also pleasently surprised how well being the Center Director went...not flawless, but since the team was AWESOME, all went off without a hitch!

***Catalyst 06 in Atlanta: Ministry conferences have almost always been a highlight to me, but this was the first time I attended one that was not "youth ministry-specific". Catalyst is geared more toward general church leadership, although I must say this was MUCH cooler an event than I expected. The speakers were so outstanding. I actually have all my notes on my desk, and frequently run through them (something I have never done...). I also got to be there with one of my best friends, Scott Austin, and even ran into (randomly) a few folks from my past (Peter Couser and Rick Waters, old TCU BUX guys). Changed my life...made continue to ponder my ministry future (in a good way).

***David Phillips' Memorial Service: I know, morbid thought...but I have NEVER been to such a wonderful celebration of someone's life, and I left feeling more devoted to God than ever. David's life was truly one that existed to follow Jesus...above all else, while still having great love for people, fun, etc. (David Phillips was "Life Stage 1 Pastor" at Christ Chapel Bible Church in Ft. Worth, TX...and my friend (while in college) and boss while I interned at CCBC from 1997-2001).

***Kerrville, July (especially my good "porch time"): I LOVE going to my parents' Kerrville house, but something about this July trip was special. NO PLANS! We just relaxed, and I got to spend much time alone on the porch with books, my computer, good music, and a swing.

***TCU beating Texas Tech: Was at Amon Carter Stadium, going NUTS. I love sports, but I was even shocked at my emotion. The whole family was there: Missy and Jax, my folks, Aufu (my aunt), and the Castles'. Sat in the upper deck amopngst mostly obnoxious, overconfident Tech fans. Loved sticking it to 'em...in a nice Christian way...

***Various spiritual "A ha!" moments with some of the teens in the youth group: This year I know of three kids that made some sort-of real response to God this year. One was at the Planet Wisdom conference in late February, and two were at the "Pole Vault" See You At The Pole rally in September. Things like that are why I do what I do...

***Watching Jackson (aka "Jax") transform into a little boy: This has been simply amazing to watch. His mobility and dexterity are amazing. His communication skills are now officially at "I can make sentences, and I can really communicate with people"-stage. He LOVES books. He is a true two-year old (parents know what I mean), but he is such a joy to be around. I am privileged to be his dad...

There are many other very cool things that happened this year, but for some reason, these are the ones that stick out!

Holidays 06 Re-Cap

Well, I'm finally back in Weatherford from an at-times great, at-times not fun, at-times, well, "haphazard" holiday vacation time. The original plan was: spend the "Christmas weekend" in Mansfield at Missy's parents, come back to Wford Chrsitmas Eve for services, etc., go back to Mansfield just for Christmas Day, then back to Wford to unpack-repack, then go to Kerrville for the rest of the week/weekend. Sounded good and doable. While most of that did happen, there were some changes...

...mainly, Missy's Granny Dorothy passed away the Monday before Christmas. While she was old and quite frail, to our knowledge there was no pressing terminal illness. We have our ongoing suspicions that she was sick "secretly", but that's not important. So, our Mansfield plans got pushed up a few days due to funerals, etc. The funeral itself was outstanding. She was a Pentacostal minister, so there was a chance that the service would be, well, "interesting" due to lots of emotion, etc., but it was quite respectful all things considered. Hearing the testimonies of how she truly was Jesus to those she was around was so amazing. Age didn't matter, race didn't matter, "position in life" didn't matter, denomination didn't matter (she was always so gracious to me, and even though I come from a different Christian-faith tradition from her, I always could tell that she considered us to be on the "same side", something we could ALL learn from...).

Then back to Mansfield for the "planned" part of the trip. Fun times, albeit with the background knowledge that there was grief going on...mostly internally for the Castles. Jax had a ball, and it was nice to just get away a bit. Christmas Eve back at church in Wford was a needed time, especially for Missy. Tears often came, especially at the communion rail. She could finally grieve openly (something hard to do in front of her parents, who tend to grief more internally from what I can tell), and I was glad she had that time with God to do that. After helping in the nursery for the 8 pm service (I have a new respect for nursery workers...), back to Mansfield. Let Jax get his big "Santa gift" on the 25th (the Castles do "Christmas" on the 24th, with the exception of a cool, unwrapped gift for the kiddo), then later that evening returned to Wford. Left for Kerrville the morning of the 26th...

We always LOVE going to Kerrville, and for the most part it was fun again to get away, see my folks (and Granny/Aufu), etc. We had few plans, which always works best. We also continued our new "tradition" of doing something New Years' Eve with Scott, Shannon (and now Chase) Austin. Always a fun time.

So, here is the "Good, Bad, and Huh?" of the holiday time (fully knowing that some of the "bad" and "huh" may be "good" in the big picture):

GOOD: Being with family, the blessing that was Granny Dorothy's life, the love and giving attitude of this season, seeing Jax have a BALL over Christmas, having Jax answer (every time) "Jesus" when I asked him who Christmas was about, seeing the Austin's, my "hike" on Saturday in Kerrville, achieving my goal of staying in the 180s weight-wise til the end of the holidays (so I could really work on getting to my goal of mid-170s during 2007), reading a VERY good book ("Deception Point" by Dan Brown), having some awesome "porch time" involving good music, a swing, my laptop, and visioning for 2007 in the youth ministry I serve...

BAD: Well, I won't go in to too much detail, but "finally" getting in trouble with my boss (long story...but I had an interesting phone call with him while in Kerrville...), seeing my wife get so upset with some legitimate accidents (involving lost jewelry/personal items, all which were found, by the way...), dealing with death during the holiday time, ongoing (will they ever end?) financial struggles which seem to alway come to a head during December, finding out that the Dec. 31st Youth Sunday School (while I was away) was, well, "interesting"...some damage control now needed..., not getting to see Aaron, Becky, Madi, and Peyton Travis like we usually do during Christmas...

HUH?: Struggling to understand at times the "way" people in my life think, work, etc..., continued internal struggle with "what am I supposed to be doing" in ministry...long story...

That said, I am excited for 2007. There is much "up in the air" involving my life (and my family's life), but despite the confusion, I know that God is sovereign (and I am not) so what needs to happen WILL happen...