We Always Compare "Up" (and how that is not a good thing...)

We compare ourselves with folks "above" us too well. And I don't believe it is helpful in many cases. It comes out in many ways, and I want to discuss some of them below:

*** Wealth: I myself have been guilty of this one, and I can't tell you how often teens I've served over the years fall prey to this up-comparison. It goes something like this: Person A, "Oh man, you are soooooo rich." Person B, "No I'm not" (when in reality, they have everything they want, mom and dad make six-figures, they eat wherever, travel tons, etc.). I myself (especially in college) was guilty of this one. I would often bring out-of-state friends to my parents' home on holidays, etc., and often their first response was, "Dang Ben, you didn't tell me your family was loaded." My usual response: "Oh, my parents aren't really that loaded." "Uh, yeah Ben, they are..." Why did I (and others) react that way? Some possibilities...

• Attempted Humility. I didn't want to necessarily be known as a "rich kid", so I guess I tried to downplay the truth: I was a rich kid. We ate wherever we wanted to. I got vehicles without having to pay a dime. Car insurance was paid for. Gas was paid for. I went to an EXPENSIVE university (and then grad school), all on my parents' dime. You get the picture...and the list surely could go on. Humility is a good thing, but sometimes I tried to convince myself that the truth wasn't, well, the truth...and I was blinded to reality as a result, which can lead to...
• Not Realizing How Blessed You Are (and How We Should be Grateful, Willing to Share, Etc.). This I've seen in my own life and in others like CRAZY. Essentially, someone is commented on about being "rich", and they deny it profusely, this time to the point of belief: it's beyond attempted humility, they really don't believe they are blessed with wealth. This is a problem. How does it happen? We "compare up", by not thinking we are rich, but those with "more" than us are the rich ones. I can't tell you how many times I've been talking to kids about this issue, and they really don't think they are blessed with wealth (as they drive off in their new-and I mean new-car, chatting away on their new iphone that was a replacement for the one they-oops!-just lost...and I know parents blindly paid for it...and trust me, I've been there too), because they are comparing themselves up to the family down the street that makes millions a year, instead of the "only $400,000" their family brings home. Why is this so dangerous? We feel entitled to the blessings. What would happen if it was all taken away today? What if your dad lost his sweet job, or isn't making the sales? Would you be bitter? Would the family fall apart because they are so tied to "stuff" instead of God and each other? These are things to think about. Instead, we should pray for real humility, gratitude, an attitude to share our blessings with others, and simply being grateful to God for providing AT ALL, even if it isn't as much as you are used to...

***Our Sinfulness: We also compare "up" when it comes to sin. First of all, it is imperative that we realize we are inherently sinful to begin with: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%203:23&version=31. For some, that is difficult to realize at all (I will post on that one next...had a good discussion about "sinful nature" yesterday). But even for folks who "know" (even if just in theory) they are sinful at heart, they compare themselves with "worse sinners", and thus can rationalize their own sinful behavior. It can look like this: Someone is struggling with some specific, annoying sins. But when challenged to let God expose them, to repent (aka "seek forgiveness and TURN AWAY from the sin issues), they start to rationalize, comparing up to folks with "worse sins". "At least I'm not a murderer/Hitler/druggie/hooker/etc.". True, true, I'm glad your first name isn't Adolf, but that isn't a good comparison. If our mantra of "sin is sin, period" is true...we can't rest in our "smaller sins". It still separates us from God. If you are having pre- or extra-marital sex, for example, it isn't ok to say, "Oh well, there's worse things I could be doing." It is sin. period. Likewise, you can go "lower" in the perceived sin-level comparison: Jesus even tells us that if we have a bad attitude toward someone, calling them bad names, thinking we are "better" than them, it is the same as murder (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205:21-22;&version=31;). Basically, if we think we are better than someone, or hate someone, etc., it is the same as wishing they didn't exist at all. They are worthless to us. Sounds like we wish they were dead...like murder. So, when we continue to have an ugly, bitter, unforgiving spirit towards folks, the argument of, "At least I'm not beating them up/murdering them, and just saying stuff and hating them on the inside", doesn't fly...if we really pay attention to Jesus. ALL of us must cry out daily to God, admit our failings, seek to repent, and ALLOW God to change our hearts. God can change our heart (I can think of several examples where my heart/attitudes are not the same as they once were...and I attribute it to finally allowing God to "Do His thing" with me...); the catch is, we have to truly think we need saving and changing...and allow it to happen...

***Our Own Spiritual "Level": Finally (not that there aren't other examples...), we are too prone to compare "up" spiritually with others. Oh sure, I think a healthy respect of those older, wiser, and more mature in their faith is a good thing! But, I know many who are stunted in their OWN spiritual growth because they see folks who know more scripture, or more biblical history, or pray more, or serve more, or have nicer kids, or, well, you catch my drift, and instead of being motivated to grow themselves, are instead discouraged and end up stunting their own growth. We need not compare ourselves in that way. A believer is a believer, period. Just because someone can get a 100 on a "Bible test" and you can't doesn't mean you stink, or are less loved by God, or even that that person "has all their crud together" (I can't tell you of all the "really spiritual" folks I've met that get an "A" in some area...but an "F" in mercy, or practicing what they preach, etc.). So don't be discouraged and give up on seeking God! Instead, allow it to spur you on to allowing God to grow you and accomplish amazing things through you!

So, we need to stop comparing up with folks. We just need to "rest" in God, seek to be a better follower of Jesus, realize our sin is keeping us from Him (no matter how "small" our sin seems compared to others), and be gracious to whatever He blesses us with...even if it seems small in comparison...