There's a Box? (uno)

(The "intro" to this series is in the prior post...)

Of Boxes…

So I was at a staff retreat for a church in Houston, Texas, I was serving. I am not sure today if it was an “all-staff” retreat or just a youth-staff retreat, but it doesn’t matter. We were talking about the various ways each staff member approached their life in ministry, and the time came to describe mine. Several fellow staffers had their say, all well-meaning words, but one person, Lori Anderson, said something like this: “Ben, some folks live inside the box, some folks live outside the box, but you say, ‘Wait, there’s a box?’”
It was almost as if I had been validated, freed. You see, in the world I live in (the “West”, America, and even more specifically, Texas as of 2006), you likely have one of two ways to approach your life:

a) You do everything you can to live “in” the box, or
b) You do everything you can to live “outside” the box

There is little wiggle room. You are either Hank Hill, or you are John Redcorn (watch the show “King of the Hill” to see what I mean). You are either Lisa Simpson, or you are Bart (“The Simpsons”). You either live every aspect of your life (ministering to others, your work, your family, etc.) within an unswerving box of rules that simply cannot be changed or shaken, or you live every aspect of your life doing all you can to not live within a set of boxed life-rules. There are surely exceptions to this “either-or” approach, but our “default” is usually one or the other.

Why use the term “box” to describe these things? Well, let’s look at the various things boxes do:

They are used to keep things safe and unbroken
They hide valuables
They keep things secret
They store things away, where they are often forgotten
They are usually brown, flimsy cardboard

In our lives, we, too, have boxes, whether we like it or not. We are very good at compartmentalizing our life into many different areas that each have a specific set of rules. We may have a faith life, where we are a part of a certain denomination (and, let’s be honest: even “non-denominational” seems like a denomination these days…but that is another discussion altogether), and within that denomination are certain “ways” of faith, certain theological bents, and structures. As sub-group of denomination could even be your local church. Anyone ever hear that fun phrase, “We don’t do it that way, here”? We all have our traditions, our “sacred cows” that we are slaves to without thinking, even in the local congregation. We have a family life, with its’ own set of rules and traditions, and they only get more complex when families collide in marriage. How often have conflicts in a marriage come about because, despite our best efforts to “leave our parents and cleave to your spouse”, you just struggle with a certain thing because, “you weren’t raised that way”? We have a work-life. How many times have I heard from people, claiming to be believers, tell me in regards to unethical practices they may be involved in, that, “…it’s just how you have to do business”, or “That’s just the rules of (insert occupation here).”
The list can go on-and-on. Sports and competition. Friend groups (be honest: you sometimes act different around different friends because “the rules are different with them”). Even stuff as mundane as how you drive your car (ever seen someone with road rage who has Christian stickers on the car? Hmmm?). The bottom line is this: the world has placed all things into boxes, and most of us either do all we can to fit into the expectations of a given box, or we do all we can to avoid the rules of a box. The challenge I propose in this book is this: why even see boxes in the first place?

As I have (and will) say: this is a risky proposition. I do think it is worth it, however, and can totally change the way you approach your entire life, not just any one part. To truly begin, you need to hear how I came to this point...which I will do in a later post...