Lessons Learned During an Unintentional Blog Silence...

So after a whirlwind end of 2008/first few months of 2009 blogging-wise, last month something happened: I just didn't blog much. If you've been keeping up with good ol' haphazardangus for awhile, you know that the vast majority of recent posts have been in the form of "faith ponderings". Essentially, a re-visit of some scripture passage I've read recently. As I had a personal resurgence in late 2008 for personal scripture study, I felt like blogging about my thoughts, challenges, etc., that I found within the readings. It became a pseudo-journaling experience (something I've often been challenged by others to do as a good spiritual exercise, but for whatever reason, just couldn't "get into"); one that I know some read and were blessed by, and I am humbled by that! But in late March and into April (and, if I'm not careful, it could easily bleed into May as well...), I simply got busy. Now, I didn't get too busy to spend time in the Word nearly daily (whew!), but I just didn't "have the time" to revisit the passages later on and reconnect, seek wisdom, share thoughts. At first it was no biggie, but looking back at the past six weeks or so of general silence, I have learned and noticed a few things:

While I am grateful for the continued discipline to seek God first thing in the morning, so seek his wisdom in the scriptures, etc., I now know that all the "you need to journal, Ben"-types were onto something. I realize now that that exercise of regular posting of those ponderings really helped me engage Truth more deeply. I would be forced to make the placing of scripture on my heart an "all-day" affair, as I would ponder Truth multiple times a day. I would more easily remember what God was trying to say to me. And I would also be more apt to look back at old posts and be reminded of stuff, encouraged, challenged. Now? Well sure, I still get up and give God the firstfruits of the day...but too often, what I read in the morning just stays on that couch. I often can't tell you, say, at dinnertime what I read before the sun came up like I used to. That bothers me...

I also have learned that I am crazy busy right now. It's not even "bad stuff", and in many cases, it's necessary stuff. But there is a lot of it right now. Prepping and leading my first Real World Parents seminar (I think it went well; I may post my thoughts soon). Working on a curriculum with other area youth ministers that needs to be ready for "prime time" by early June (and I'm struggling for inspiration). Being a big part of our church's confirmation program going on right now. Trying to help Missy find a teaching job somewhere (I'm helping fill out online applications, etc. They are tedious!). Jax's soccer "stuff". Some new stuff at church I'm somewhat involved in (new parent group, occasionally filling in for the drummer in our contemporary service band, even giving a message later this month, hosting our own Real World Parents seminar, and trying to figure out how to "raise leaders" in our ministry to take them to the next level...). CTCYM mission trip planning that is looming large on the horizon. Some health issues recently (not serious, but more "annoying" that required way too many doctor visits that cut into my time...). And all the while, seeking to be the best dad and hubby I can by giving Jax and Missy as much attention and service I can. But it's a bunch of things, and unfortunately, blogging went by the wayside. What used to be a nice mid-day "break" became, "Oh jeez, now I need to post something..." My breaks became less about renewal (blogging, exercising, etc.) and more just sitting, staring into space or at a facebook page. Something needs to give here...

So, as I sift through this first week of May, my prayer is that my heart will be stirred up to make it all happen again. I am not in a "bad place", but I can tell the "meh" is creeping up if I don't be proactive and do something. That is another lesson I've learned that I wish more Christians would do: When you see the "meh" attitudes toward faith creeping in...DO SOMETHING. Too many times I see myself and others just let the ambivalence creep in...and don't fight it. And then, six months later, you just don't care at all... Thankfully God bashes through at some point, but why wait for that? Let's go NOW!

See you guys here again soon!