"DONKEY!" // Numbers 22:21-35

Balaam's Donkey 21 Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab. 22 But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the LORD stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. 23 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get her back on the road.
24 Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides. 25 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam's foot against it. So he beat her again.

26 Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff. 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?"

29 Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now."

30 The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?"
"No," he said.

31 Then the LORD opened Balaam's eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.

32 The angel of the LORD asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. [a] 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her."

34 Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back."

35 The angel of the LORD said to Balaam, "Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you." So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.


Footnotes:
Numbers 22:32 The meaning of the Hebrew for this clause is uncertain.

Stuff that stood out:

*** 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?": Ok, some backstory: Balaam was a sort-of prophet, oracle, etc., and he was dealing with a king (Balak) from another land who wanted to conquer Israel. God had: yes, told Balaam to walk with Balak, but not to speak unless God told him to. Apparently, Balaam was doing just that: "sort of" following God, but not all the way. So God did what he does...and used the unexpected to get his point across.

He had Balaam's Donkey do the talking. SAY WHAT? But, it got his attention! Sometimes I think I'm "in God's will"...but honestly, I'm only sort-of doing his will. I need to pay more attention to this passage...

*** 32 The angel of the LORD asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. [a] 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her.": Ouch. Balaam gets completely called out for his trying to do God's will "Balaam's way". That never works. I know that I too often "seek" God's will, but then try to make it happen my way. Not good. And I too have probably treated those around me the same way as Balaam did his donkey...where I wasn't getting my way, and instead of surrendering immediately to the Lord, I make excuses, beat up (metaphorically) those around me who were just trying to help "Get me there", etc. And what does God say? "Without them carrying you...I would have killed you and spared them." Yowsers...

*** 34 Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back."

35 The angel of the LORD said to Balaam, "Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you." So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.: Balaam finally repents and falls on his knees, and essentially states his willingness to abdicate his calling. God then says, "Nope...JUST DO IT MY WAY and you'll be all good..." How sad is it that too often the Lord has to get right in our way to get his point across...but how awesome is it that in his grace and mercy, he still wants US and wants to use us... Oh Lord, help me to seek your way at all times so you don't have to use "talking donkeys"!

Questions for me today:

Am I on;y in "part" of God's will? Am I trying to do it my way?

Who are "donkeys" that are just trying to help and get my attention...but I am punishing instead?

Do I realize, REALLY realize that God doesn't need me, but still WANTS me? How do I respond to that?

...always more for you... // 1 Kings 19:1-18

This passage just rocked my world recently...

Elijah Flees to Horeb
1 Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them."
3 Elijah was afraid [a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." 5 Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.
All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." 6 He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.


The LORD Appears to Elijah
And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
10 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

14 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

15 The LORD said to him, "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him."


Footnotes:
1 Kings 19:3 Or Elijah saw

Stuff that stood out:

*** "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors."; in verse 4: Oh, how many times have I wondered aloud to God, "What's the point of this?", in reference to me "trying hard to be obedient, do his will, etc.", and feeling like none of it matters? Sadly, too many times. I can surely relate to Elijah here as times when he decides that "enough is enough, already". He is drained. Thinks the message he feels called to deliver is falling on death ears, and at times worse: folks are out to get him! He feels abandoned, purposeless...

*** 7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.: ...and just then, God shows up, shows his promise to provide and strengthen. I need to always look back at the times I was "done" and frustrated, and remember where God showed up and said, "I am not done with you yet!"

*** 14 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

15 The LORD said to him, "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.": A big chunk here, I realize...but I think it is all so pertinent. Basically, Elijah once again pleads his case for being justified in his complaining. "I'm working hard, man, and for what? No one cares...no one seems to share the fire I have for You. And they don't really like that I'm calling them on the carpet..." I think everywhere I've ever been in ministry has had a moment or two like that... But God doesn't ignore. He gives purpose, either reaffirmed or brand new. I have likewise ALWAYS found that to be true when I'm feeling like Elijah here...God shows himself to me, gives (or re-gives) purpose, and off I go...

Questions for me today:

Are there areas of my life where I feel like I've been "doing what God wants", but I'm not seeing the results I'd like so I want to bail?

When has God shown himself and his purposes to me at times I've felt "lost"?

Ranking the U2 Albums UPDATED TO INCLUDE NEW ALBUM

I have updated these rankings to reflect the inclusion of the newest album, "No Line On the Horizon", as I feel I have listened to it a sufficient amount to give it some justice...

I've been toying with this idea for some time, as U2 are my favorite band. I finally came up with a system (DORK WARNING! DORK WARNING!) that I liked and decided to rank the albums via "song ranking averages"; aka, 1 is "who were the ad wizards who thought this song was a good idea?" to 10, which is "simply one of my favorite songs ever, across the board". I ranked each song and averaged, and each album thus has a score.

A few disclaimers before I post:
*** This is MY ranking...there are some songs by U2 that are deemed "10" by many out there that just don't capture me as much...and I'm sure the reverse is true as well...

*** I am only including true studio albums save "Rattle and Hum", which had enough studio material (vs. "live") to be ranked. As a result, though, I only ranked studio songs for "RaH".

*** What is interesting about this list is how the album I usually consider as my favorite did not get #1 on this list...or 2 or 3 for that matter...this is probably due to the fact that it has such a wide range of rankings...but some of my absolute favorite songs are on that album (I'll leave it to your imagination for now), but it has just enough "meh"-songs to drop it down a bit...

*** My criteria for "highlight songs" on each album was a ranking of 8 or better. Essentially, these are the songs that most "move me"...

HERE WE GO...

# 12: Pop (1997), 4.58 avg: Highlight song: "Wake Up Dead Man"

# 11: Zooropa (1993), 4.7 avg: Highlight song: "The First Time"

# 10: October (1981), 5.18 avg: Highlight song: "Gloria"

# 9: Boy (1980), 5.82 avg: : Highlight songs: "I Will Follow", "Out of Control"

# 8: No Line On the Horizon (2009), 6.00 avg: Highlight Songs: "Magnificent", "Get On Your Boots"

# 7: Rattle and Hum (1988), 6.11 avg: Highlight songs: "Heartland", "When Love Comes to Town", "All I Want is You"

# 6: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (2004), 7.18 avg: Highlight songs: "Vertigo", "City of Blinding Lights"

# 5: Achtung Baby (1991), 7.25 avg: Highlight songs: "Until the End of the World", "Zoo Station", "Mysterious Ways", "The Fly"

# 4: The Unforgettable Fire (1984), 7.3 avg: Highlight songs: "Pride", "Bad", "A Sort of Homecoming", "The Unforgettable Fire", "Wire"

# 3: War (1983), 7.4 avg: Highlight songs: "New Years' Day", "Like a Song", "Sunday Bloody Sunday", "Two Hearts Beat as One", "40"

# 2: All That You Can't Leave Behind (2000), 7.64 avg/7 median:Highlight songs: "Beautiful Day", "Grace", "Walk On", "Elevation", "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of"

# 1: The Joshua Tree (1987), 7.64 avg/8 median: Highlight songs: "Where the Streets Have No Name", "With or Without You", "In God's Country", "Bullet the Blue Sky", "Red Hill Mining Town", "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"

So there you go. The last 6 are quite close, with 1 and 2 being so close I needed a tiebreaker (the median).