"DONKEY!" // Numbers 22:21-35

Balaam's Donkey 21 Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab. 22 But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the LORD stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. 23 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get her back on the road.
24 Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides. 25 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam's foot against it. So he beat her again.

26 Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff. 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?"

29 Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now."

30 The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?"
"No," he said.

31 Then the LORD opened Balaam's eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.

32 The angel of the LORD asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. [a] 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her."

34 Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back."

35 The angel of the LORD said to Balaam, "Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you." So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.


Footnotes:
Numbers 22:32 The meaning of the Hebrew for this clause is uncertain.

Stuff that stood out:

*** 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?": Ok, some backstory: Balaam was a sort-of prophet, oracle, etc., and he was dealing with a king (Balak) from another land who wanted to conquer Israel. God had: yes, told Balaam to walk with Balak, but not to speak unless God told him to. Apparently, Balaam was doing just that: "sort of" following God, but not all the way. So God did what he does...and used the unexpected to get his point across.

He had Balaam's Donkey do the talking. SAY WHAT? But, it got his attention! Sometimes I think I'm "in God's will"...but honestly, I'm only sort-of doing his will. I need to pay more attention to this passage...

*** 32 The angel of the LORD asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. [a] 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her.": Ouch. Balaam gets completely called out for his trying to do God's will "Balaam's way". That never works. I know that I too often "seek" God's will, but then try to make it happen my way. Not good. And I too have probably treated those around me the same way as Balaam did his donkey...where I wasn't getting my way, and instead of surrendering immediately to the Lord, I make excuses, beat up (metaphorically) those around me who were just trying to help "Get me there", etc. And what does God say? "Without them carrying you...I would have killed you and spared them." Yowsers...

*** 34 Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back."

35 The angel of the LORD said to Balaam, "Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you." So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.: Balaam finally repents and falls on his knees, and essentially states his willingness to abdicate his calling. God then says, "Nope...JUST DO IT MY WAY and you'll be all good..." How sad is it that too often the Lord has to get right in our way to get his point across...but how awesome is it that in his grace and mercy, he still wants US and wants to use us... Oh Lord, help me to seek your way at all times so you don't have to use "talking donkeys"!

Questions for me today:

Am I on;y in "part" of God's will? Am I trying to do it my way?

Who are "donkeys" that are just trying to help and get my attention...but I am punishing instead?

Do I realize, REALLY realize that God doesn't need me, but still WANTS me? How do I respond to that?

...always more for you... // 1 Kings 19:1-18

This passage just rocked my world recently...

Elijah Flees to Horeb
1 Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them."
3 Elijah was afraid [a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." 5 Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.
All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." 6 He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.


The LORD Appears to Elijah
And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
10 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

14 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

15 The LORD said to him, "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him."


Footnotes:
1 Kings 19:3 Or Elijah saw

Stuff that stood out:

*** "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors."; in verse 4: Oh, how many times have I wondered aloud to God, "What's the point of this?", in reference to me "trying hard to be obedient, do his will, etc.", and feeling like none of it matters? Sadly, too many times. I can surely relate to Elijah here as times when he decides that "enough is enough, already". He is drained. Thinks the message he feels called to deliver is falling on death ears, and at times worse: folks are out to get him! He feels abandoned, purposeless...

*** 7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.: ...and just then, God shows up, shows his promise to provide and strengthen. I need to always look back at the times I was "done" and frustrated, and remember where God showed up and said, "I am not done with you yet!"

*** 14 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

15 The LORD said to him, "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.": A big chunk here, I realize...but I think it is all so pertinent. Basically, Elijah once again pleads his case for being justified in his complaining. "I'm working hard, man, and for what? No one cares...no one seems to share the fire I have for You. And they don't really like that I'm calling them on the carpet..." I think everywhere I've ever been in ministry has had a moment or two like that... But God doesn't ignore. He gives purpose, either reaffirmed or brand new. I have likewise ALWAYS found that to be true when I'm feeling like Elijah here...God shows himself to me, gives (or re-gives) purpose, and off I go...

Questions for me today:

Are there areas of my life where I feel like I've been "doing what God wants", but I'm not seeing the results I'd like so I want to bail?

When has God shown himself and his purposes to me at times I've felt "lost"?

Ranking the U2 Albums UPDATED TO INCLUDE NEW ALBUM

I have updated these rankings to reflect the inclusion of the newest album, "No Line On the Horizon", as I feel I have listened to it a sufficient amount to give it some justice...

I've been toying with this idea for some time, as U2 are my favorite band. I finally came up with a system (DORK WARNING! DORK WARNING!) that I liked and decided to rank the albums via "song ranking averages"; aka, 1 is "who were the ad wizards who thought this song was a good idea?" to 10, which is "simply one of my favorite songs ever, across the board". I ranked each song and averaged, and each album thus has a score.

A few disclaimers before I post:
*** This is MY ranking...there are some songs by U2 that are deemed "10" by many out there that just don't capture me as much...and I'm sure the reverse is true as well...

*** I am only including true studio albums save "Rattle and Hum", which had enough studio material (vs. "live") to be ranked. As a result, though, I only ranked studio songs for "RaH".

*** What is interesting about this list is how the album I usually consider as my favorite did not get #1 on this list...or 2 or 3 for that matter...this is probably due to the fact that it has such a wide range of rankings...but some of my absolute favorite songs are on that album (I'll leave it to your imagination for now), but it has just enough "meh"-songs to drop it down a bit...

*** My criteria for "highlight songs" on each album was a ranking of 8 or better. Essentially, these are the songs that most "move me"...

HERE WE GO...

# 12: Pop (1997), 4.58 avg: Highlight song: "Wake Up Dead Man"

# 11: Zooropa (1993), 4.7 avg: Highlight song: "The First Time"

# 10: October (1981), 5.18 avg: Highlight song: "Gloria"

# 9: Boy (1980), 5.82 avg: : Highlight songs: "I Will Follow", "Out of Control"

# 8: No Line On the Horizon (2009), 6.00 avg: Highlight Songs: "Magnificent", "Get On Your Boots"

# 7: Rattle and Hum (1988), 6.11 avg: Highlight songs: "Heartland", "When Love Comes to Town", "All I Want is You"

# 6: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (2004), 7.18 avg: Highlight songs: "Vertigo", "City of Blinding Lights"

# 5: Achtung Baby (1991), 7.25 avg: Highlight songs: "Until the End of the World", "Zoo Station", "Mysterious Ways", "The Fly"

# 4: The Unforgettable Fire (1984), 7.3 avg: Highlight songs: "Pride", "Bad", "A Sort of Homecoming", "The Unforgettable Fire", "Wire"

# 3: War (1983), 7.4 avg: Highlight songs: "New Years' Day", "Like a Song", "Sunday Bloody Sunday", "Two Hearts Beat as One", "40"

# 2: All That You Can't Leave Behind (2000), 7.64 avg/7 median:Highlight songs: "Beautiful Day", "Grace", "Walk On", "Elevation", "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of"

# 1: The Joshua Tree (1987), 7.64 avg/8 median: Highlight songs: "Where the Streets Have No Name", "With or Without You", "In God's Country", "Bullet the Blue Sky", "Red Hill Mining Town", "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"

So there you go. The last 6 are quite close, with 1 and 2 being so close I needed a tiebreaker (the median).

Do You Hear? // Matthew 13:18-23

18"Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. 20The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. 22The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. 23But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."

Stuff that stood out:

*** I'm going to do this one a bit different than normal. First, instead of posting the entire reading when I had this section (it really started in verse 1), I just did the "what does it mean" section. Second, instead of listing a bunch of separate phrases, I just feel like pondering the whole thing. Who knows where this will lead...

*** I've always been drawn to this parable for some reason. I just think the imagery is so challenging and so true for those who are presented with God's Truth and offer of salvation. I often try to figure out which one is "me"...truth is, I think at one time or another, I've been each of them. I also, though, think these examples are true for folks as a whole. Some hear the Gospel and basically go, "Yeah, whatever..." Some have big, emotional, mountain-top experiences, but in reality it was all "in the moment", or maybe they did it because their friends seemed all wrapped up in God, or maybe they entered into a relationship under the wrong pretense, like, "Jesus will fix EVERYTHING and make your life better!" True? Well, yes...but not like most of us think...sadly so many "accept Christ" it seems so that nothing bad will ever happen to them...or they will get "stuff"...etc. These folks bail (aka, not sure their conversion was "real") when things get tough, don't go their way, or they get challenged to deal with some sin they aren't willing to... I think I relate most with the "fell among thorns" part, albeit I relate at times too well. Why? Well, the "thorny" ones are the ones that really do have a relationship with God, truly have reached a point of real surrender to Christ and want to give everything to him...but too often, because of worry, or distraction, or others' expectations, don't Want to (if you read my blog much, you know what I mean by want vs. Want). We thorny types are too easily brought down to a level of fear, doubt, lack-of-confidence, etc., that hinders us allowing God to speak to (and though) us. My prayer (and thankfully, I have seen glimpses of this in my life, and at times, whole "seasons" where I am here...woohoo God!) is that myself and others will increasingly be like the seed on good soil. The ones who are willing to trust and risk for Christ. The ones who are confident and bold. The ones who make sacrifices to "their wants" in the name of showing others Jesus, and in the name of better seeing the Lord themselves.

So, which one are you?

Questions for me to ponder today:

Which "soil" am I right now? Has this changed?

What "soil" do I need to be? What things may need to happen to get me there?

Do I want to be "good soil", or do I Want to be good soil? Am I willing to do what it takes?

Hakuna Matata on Steroids // Matthew 6:19-34

Treasures in Heaven
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Do Not Worry
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.


Footnotes:Matthew 6:27 Or single cubit to his height

Stuff that stood out:

*** 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.: I usually have approached this first section (v. 19-24) as simply a challenge to not be so focused on the material, on "stuff". And that is certainly something I need to remember. But is there something bigger, something connected to the next part (dealing more with "worry")? Absolutely. As I read this morning, I started pondering how the material things in life, whether tangible or more abstract, cause me to have worry. Because the more you "have", the more you have to take care of, right? And what about the temptation to keep up with the Joneses, or be "relevant"? Can that cause me unwanted (or un-needed) worry? You betcha. My allegiances thus get split between God and...my stuff that I have to worry about. Oh sure, I need to be grateful for what I've been blessed with and treat it with respect and as a good steward...but it's when I start spending more time with these temporal things (and thus taking time away from the eternal) that it can get out-of-whack. I need to seek often to have these areas exposed to me...and ask God for re-focus.

*** 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...; 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?: Worry is such a strong and potentially paralyzing emotion. I tend to think of myself who doesn't worry, but I know I do. Now, I may not let it consume me like it does some, but I would be lying if I said I never worry. I worry about how I am raising Jax. I worry if I am a good enough husband. I worry if I am doing enough for the kids in the youth group. I worry about money. I worry that one day I will "jump the shark" and say or do some unfiltered, irresponsible thing and alienate a friend or employer. I worry about whether people trust me or not. I worry about my health. I worry about my family's future in general.

So yeah, I worry.

But what tends to keep me from being consumed and neutered by it? See below...

*** 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.: This is where its' at. Seeking the Lord FIRST, and in ALL THINGS, at ALL TIMES. It is tough to do, as you have to Want it with a capital "W". This concept I use of "want" vs. "Want" can apply to so many things, but when it applies to our relationship with Christ, it can change everything. When I say I want something (lower-case "w"), oh sure, I may like the idea or concept of, say, seeking Him first and his righteousness, but I may only really do it in times of convenience, or only in times when I am at the end of my rope, or when it feels good, etc. But I won't move mountains in life to truly do it. To me, Wanting something (upper-cased "W") involves doing whatever it takes to achieve it. So, Wanting to seek Christ first, seek his perfect ways, etc., involved choices. Sacrifices. Probably looking foolish to some folks. And also in that? Not being a slave to worry! I mean, think about it: What so often keeps people claiming the name "Christian" stuck in just wanting to be true disciples as opposed to Wanting to be disciples? WORRY. Worrying about offending others around them. Worrying about possibly losing a job as a result. Worrying about losing the favor of a coach. Worrying about having to give up some fun sin. Worrying about being truly different in light of following Jesus. Worrying about losing some "freedom" in the quest for Freedom. Worrying that you may have to break off a relationship to truly follow Jesus (a non-married one, of course...).

So I think ultimately worry can play into how much we Want to surrender to Christ vs. if we just want to... And too often, we simply just don't Want to...

Questions for me today:

Where is my treasure? How do I see my true "heart" reflecting my treasure, priorities, wants, etc.?

Where am I letting worry consume me and hinder my walk with Christ?

Do I really Want to seek God in all things...or do I just want to? What would it look like in my life to switch to Wanting instead of just wanting?

What Do I Know? // James 4:13-17

Boasting About Tomorrow
13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

Stuff that stood out:

*** Well, actually this whole section stuck out... In fact, my daily reading contained the first 6 verses of chapter 5 as well, but they just didn't seem to "fit" together today...maybe another time...

*** I will split my musings into two parts. The first is verses 13-15. I see so much of this in life. I make grand plans and don't a) ponder other paths and/or b) give room for God to "do his thing". It seems like James is telling us two things: First, that we often are waaaaay too flippant about our decisions, our plans, and our schemes. I mean, I may get broadsided by a truck while running tomorrow! I have no clue what may happen even in the next five minutes... Oh sure, I should just live my life as best I can, preferably as an act of worship and gratitude for Christ's undeserved love of my soul... Second, verse 15 tells us that in many ways it's all about our attitude as we approach life, decisions, etc. "If it's the Lord's will..." Notice the difference in focus there? It means we can still make decisions, but acknowledges (and is OK with...) that ultimately God is sovereign and in control, and thus he will do whatever he wills in our future for his glory alone. I may have hopes, goals, and dreams for what lies ahead for my family (trust me: I do), and sure, I need to be diligent in seeking wise possibilities, action plans, and decisions. BUT, I must do it all with a focused attitude and heart that says, "If what I kinda want to happen is in your will, ROCK ON, but if not? That's still the best way, YOUR way!"

*** The second musing is focused on verse 17: Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. I think I've mentioned this before, but when I am confused about God's will, I unfortunately tend to mean the "big, long-term decisions and direction for my life", instead of, "Hey God, what do I need to be a part of TODAY? What are the attitudes and actions that are also your will?" Verse 17 speaks to that for me. There are things I can do every day that are ALWAYS God's will. Treating others with respect. Making Christ first in my life. Loving my wife through thick and thin. Giving my best for Jesus. Listening to others. Repentance. Seeking to let the Word saturate my heart (and that means some tough decisions about behavior, attitude, etc.). And the one mentioned in this verse is so key: Knowing what is right, and still choosing to ignore it...

Questions for me today:

What dreams/goals/hopes, etc., in my life do I need to truly give over to the Lord (aka, so I would be "cool" with a different path of his choosing)?

What are some areas of my daily life that I can seek to be more in tune with who God wants me to be?

In a Rare (as of lately) Blogging Lull

It was funny, after a flurry of posts the first week of March (something like 6 in 5 days!), I thought that March might end up being the first time I got close to a "post-a-day" average...

...well, then this week I didn't post at all! Plenty of reasons: Busy working on mission trip sign-ups/planning, some health stuff I needed to deal with, etc. Nothing huge, and I actually did have my daily readings, um, daily. I was planning on visiting some of those readings this morning as a blog but Jax woke up (and I can't give the scriptures "justice" when we're watching Imagination Movers together haha).

So I hope to get back to some posts next week, even when I'm in the Houston area for a little Spring Break visit!