haphazard angus

The Goal of Faith

2009-09-08T07:28:00.002-05:00

I'm just going to say it: I think that many claiming the name "Christian" are such for reasons lacking in scriptural basis. I don't say that to proclaim that I have never had the "wrong reasons" for faith (although, even thinking about that day in 1990 where I met Jesus for real, I think it was more right reasons than wrong reasons for surrendering to him), but just because in my calling, I ask the question often, "So, why do you call yourself a Christian?" I get all kinds of answers, such as:

"I dunno, I've just always gone to church."

"I don't want to go to hell."

"I'm American. Aren't we a Christian nation?"

"My life stinks and I want Jesus to make it better/fix everything/take away the bad people/_______."

"I believe in God. Isn't that enough?"

And on and on and on...

I think we often miss some of the points of faith in Christ. I don't even pretend to have it correct all the time, but as I was reading this morning, I saw something that I haven't paid much attention to. I decided to read on my own "The Peters" (1 & 2 Peter) since a sermon podcast I listen to is spending EONS in those books. Pretty quick, in the first chapter of the first book, I read this:

8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.: 1 Peter 1:8-9

The goal of faith? Salvation of your soul. That's it. Not your best life now. Not the death of your enemies. Not even just a Get Out of Hell Free Card (certainly that is part of it, and salvation IS with God in eternity as opposed to the opposite...but some folks just seem to "say a salvation prayer" to cover their bases or something...just in case...). It is the fact that our souls NEED saving at all...and that Jesus, the God-man, took care of it through his life, torture, death, and resurrection. And for our salvation, we must release ourselves to Christ. That is the goal of our faith. Oh God, help me to rejoice in that goal alone this day...

Some Coasters I'd LOVE to Ride

2009-09-03T06:55:00.000-05:00

And now, time for a few roller coasters that, for whatever reason (and that includes a few I could have-but didn't-ride) haven't had the pleasure of experiencing...

Voyage: ">

Beast and Son of Beast (two seperate coasters): ">

Millennium Force: ">

Kingda Ka: ">

Mindbender: ">

Viper: ">

Texas Tornado: ">

Loch Ness Monster: ">

Dragon Mountain: ">

Hades: ">

Ravine Flyer II: ">

Gwazi: ">

Dueling Dragons: ">

Roller Coasters I've Been On

2009-09-02T06:55:00.005-05:00

I LOVE roller coasters, always have. At first my allegiance was to steel rides (I admit, as a kid I was scared the wooden ones would break!), but as I've aged (and as my head spins more and more when I ride them), I have switched sides and now prefer a good, hilly, twisting, bumpy wooden coaster!

So, just because I feel like it, some videos of coasters (in no order) that I've been on...and, since most of these are "home-made", apologies if anyone on the rides said some wirty dords, etc. Not sure if they did...but if I were to watch all these I'd be here forever. If some have cursing, let me know which and I will remove them!

Big Thunder Mountain (again, this one is in EuroDisney but Identical to DisneyWorld): ">

Colossus:
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King Cobra: ">

Manhattan Express: ">

Runaway Mine Train: ">

The Rattler: ">

Revolution: ">

Texas Cyclone: ">

Timber Wolf: ">

Titan: ">

Ultra Twister (same ride, but this is in Japan): ">

Vortex: ">

Batman The Ride (this is another version but the same layout): ">

That's all for now...may add more later...take your Dramamine!

My Life Going By...

2009-08-31T09:38:00.002-05:00

I am addicted to almanacs. Of all kinds. Texas, World, and ESPN Sports almanacs are in high rotation in my home (and have been most of my "reading life"). As a result, the reading of almanacs "for fun" has resulted in a vast array of (mostly) useless knowledge that does little for me except allow me to win Trivial Pursuit a bunch and to attempt to prop up my ego at times (which isn't what I should do, agreed, just honest that there have been times I've probably just tried to "impress").

One fun thing I like to do with almanacs lately is to almost treat them like a time capsule of sorts. I catch myself saying things like, "Let's look back 10/15/20 years and see what was going on. I recently did that with a 2000 sports almanac, looking at the headlines, winners, and seeing which players on teams are still playing at all. It is humbling to say the least. Ten years ago does NOT seem that long ago, but the vast majority of people in that almanac are no longer playing...

This is just another example of how I am discovering (and I've said it before) that the older I get, the faster life moves. This isn't all bad, but sometimes I get nostalgic and realize, "My goodness, that was TEN YEARS AGO? What happened? That went so fast!"

But, it is a good thing (life going by quickly) in that the "waiting on the Lord" attitude I am called to have seems easier. I have many passions/goals/thoughts/dreams/ideas in my head, and it is getting easier to say things like, "I need to be patient and allow things to develop in a healthy way", instead of rushing them all into existence (and they fall flat, or don't even reach completion at all).

So, I am taking some time today to ponder where I've been, to realize how fast life goes, and to seek the balance between waiting and getting things going (because if I blink, five years will have gone by)...

The God of This AND That

2009-08-20T08:27:00.006-05:00

So, I am trying (for the first time "non-seminary paper related") to read one of the Christian Fathers, Augustine. I received, as a gift, back in 2003 (I think) from my former Sr. Pastor a copy of The Confessions of Saint Augustine. It has mostly just sat on a book shelf to make me look more scholarly. Well, earlier this week, when I started my morning routine again, I picked up the book and said, "I am going to try and fight through this old-ish English translation of a famous collection of writings."

So, I am slowly, SLOWLY, I tell you, trudging through. But I already found a nice thing in the first section, "Childhood". It is a concept I have previously labeled as "The Annoying YES!", which involves the fact that God, despite our best efforts, cannot be limited. That God can simultaneously possess seemingly opposite characteristics, which is tough for us humans as we rarely share that ability. And thus, we tend to make God one or the other...

Well, I am going to shut up now and share what I read the other day and have been pondering...enjoy!

What art Thou then, my God? what, but the Lord God? For who is Lord but the Lord? or who is God save our God? Most highest, most good, most potent, most omnipotent; most merciful, yet most just; most hidden, yet most present; most beautiful, yet most strong; most stable, yet incomprehensible; unchangeable, yet all-changing; never new, never old; all-renewing, and bringing age upon the proud, and they know it not; ever working, ever at rest; still gathering, yet nothing lacking; supporting, filling, and overspreading; creating, nourishing, and maturing; seeking, yet having all things. Thou lovest, without passion; art jealous, without anxiety; repentest, yet grievest not; art angry, yet serene; changest Thy works, Thy purpose unchanged; recievest again what Thou findest, yet didst never lose; never in need, yet rejoicing in gains; never covetest, yet exacting usury.--From The Confessions of Saint Augustine, pgs. 6-7

Now I just need to go find out what "usury" means...

Missing my Bible

2009-08-17T07:49:00.006-05:00

Helllloooooo world. I'm back. It has been a good, busy summer. I have remained silent for longer than usual, but not for some of the typical reasons (aka, "spiritually dry"). Well, some of the lull is a result of busyness, but much of it was a proactive decision to just "sit" on some things for a bit. Simply put, I didn't want to post "just because". I think in the last few months I caught myself saying, "Well, I have to post something...", and as a result just wrote things that may not have had time to peculate. Oh, nothing scandalous or bad, just..."there"...

Well, I'm back. I won't promise how much of often, but I am ready to get back into my typical "school year routine" in the morning, which usually includes some permutation of coffee/classical-jazz-ambient-celtic music to inspire (aka "autumn morning")/reading/prayer/pondering/writing. I make efforts to minimize TV watching, and to, of course, let Jackson sleep (haha).

One thing is lacking from that routine as I begin again, however. My bible. You see, I think I left it on our junior high mission trip. Oh sure, I think I can call the place I left it and retrieve it fairly easily...but I keep forgetting for some reason. I have been trying to keep up with my spiritual feeding through books, listening to sermons via podcast, etc., but I noticed one thing last year that, for some reason in all the years of me following Jesus, I neglected to appreciate as much as I should.

Spending real, honest, prayerful time in the scriptures.

I mean, sure, I read it at times, and pondered many other times (although usually as a result of conversation, or a message, etc.), but had sadly struggled in all my years to make a true conscious point to study God's word as a vital part of my life. I mean, I would often try, using all kinds of tools, assists, study aids, devotional books, and plans, but they would always start off strong, then a few weeks later become something I just "did" and would not ponder. And before you knew it (usually after a month or so), I would skip a couple days and whammo, there goes my scripture time. And honestly, I would end up rationalizing and say something like, "Oh well, I still believe it all. I get to church a lot and have many deep, spiritual conversations, so I will be ok." And generally, I was. But this last year or so, I finally felt compelled to say, "Enough!" to all the excuses. I was tired of reading get-to-know-you surveys from others that seemed to honestly list "the Bible" as one's favorite book...when I would rather read sci fi or war novels or epic stories of elves and hobbits and knights.

So, I prayed for God to grant me the desire to truly dive into his divine revelation. And, he did!

So now, as I embark on another "school year" (not for me, but for my family, as my wife works at a school and my son prepares for his last year of pre-K), I am seeking God's help in re-igniting that passion. But, as I said, my Bible of choice is AWOL. Sure, there are others around, and if all else fails, I can hit up a store and get another one, but for those who have made it a point to dive into scripture on a personal level, it is hard to leave your "trusted, beat-up, marked-up" bible... So I will call the place I left it today...(ask me to see if I did!)

Charles Spurgeon, a famous preacher from the 1800s, said, "I bible that is in shambles is usually owned by someone whose life is not" (or, something like that...forgive me if the quote is not 100%). Prayerfully, I hope that is true of me, as my AWOL Bible is pretty marked up and "not pretty". Also, while exercising the other day and listening to one of the sermons I podcast, the pastor was talking on perseverance out of 2 Peter. He said (and not in an arrogant way) that ever since he met Christ at age 19, he had never backslid. He had sinned, sure, but never once walked away from the Lord, denied Christ, anything like that. His wife, on the other hand, had a time in her life (before they met) where she felt like she did wander away. He struggled to understand how she could do that once a believer, and she likewise wondered how he could not. So, in their conversation, he asked his wife, "What was the one thing missing that assisted in you straying from God?" He answer? She wasn't in her bible.

My response? I can see that. The bible itself isn't magic, but the Holy Spirit speaks through the words. We are encouraged, challenged, convicted through God's revelation to us humans. But, if we don't spend time in it, and I mean way more than just checking-off that we "read our bible today", well, I can completely see how we open up our hearts to straying, or at least, a "meh" attitude toward the things of God...

Have I kept Jesus on my mind? Oh, sure. I am grateful that in this past couple weeks of "little/no bible", God has kept a desire in my heart to not become "meh" through the podcasts and the reading of books (I am currently re-visiting "Don't Waste Your Life" by Piper, discussing it with a college student I know, and also attempting to read one of the Christian "fathers", Augustine...). But, I miss my bible. I know that nothing I can read will compare...

Thoughts on Kerrville, Summer 09

2009-07-08T09:42:00.003-05:00

Well, I've had a few days to reflect on my family's annual summer trip to Kerrville, so as I am prone to do, here are some unfiltered, random thoughts:

*** This year's trip was about a month earlier than normal (we usually go in late July/early August) and was even a couple days shorter (parts of 5 days instead of 6 or 7), but it just felt right. I was more worn out than usual after my first mission trip, so having a break between the two was great (Missy and I may try to take a "mini-vacation" in August of a day or two, if needed). Also, while we LOVE being in Kerrville, we have realized over the years that spending a week there tends to be a day or two too long... By day 5 or so, we start getting restless, the "now what?" feeling. You don't necessarily want to rush home...but you aren't really doing anything in Kerrville, either. So, this was a good time-frame.

*** I finally got off my rear ans started reading a book many have recommended, "Same Kind of Different as Me". I am a bit more than halfway through it, and it truly is an amazing, inspirational story. I can already envision a film being made, but it deserves a true movie treatment, not (sorry folks) the "Cheesy Christian film"-treatment. While I certainly hope the message and focus on Jesus remains in any film, the story is so timeless and inspirational that a film maker may just be able to pull it off, leaving all the "Christian" stuff intact...and still inspiring those who may be quick to judge the story as "too Christian". Simply put, it is a great story. Theologically it seems ok (I have had a couple "huh?" moments, but I would need to explore them further), but I don't think that is the point of a book like this...

*** I continue to be impressed of my son's increasing bravery. One of the best days was when we went down to the Guadalupe River in downtown Kerrville (below the waterfall where it is shallow with rapids, "chutes", etc.). I figured Jax would be too scared to get in; boy was I wrong. He couldn't get enough! And while at times Jax's emerging personality make my hair turn grayer (just ask Missy...she likes to point it all out, haha), as Jax nears FIVE, he is truly such a fun boy to be around. Don't think for one moment that I get bummed when I hear someone say, "You know, that Jackson is really a cool kid," which happens often (I know, I know..."easy, dad...don't get too proud!"...I hear ya...). One gesture I remember vividly from the river was when I was praising him for being so brave, and without words, as he trudged back upriver to the start of the "chute" where Pops was stationed, he gives me a non-chalant "muscle pose"...so great!

*** Finally got to see my favorite movie of 2009 (and while there are better "films" I respect more, few movies have been as fun, to me, as this one in some time), Star Trek with my dad and Jax. Jax did surprisingly well given the NOISE of the film, and dad said he liked it, too! It was fun to go to a movie that "felt" like the ones my dad and I went to as a kid (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, some of the older Star Trek's, etc.).

*** For the most part, we were LAZY...and it was glorious. I know we had some friends that were pondering visits once we announced we would be in Kerrville...but we decided to make this as "outing-free" as possible...we just needed to chill (sorry Travis' and Austin's! We will hit ya next time...).

*** Missy and I had some great, deep conversations about life, God, future, parenting, you name it. It;s not that those don't happen at home...but sometimes the environment of being "away" just helps. I am grateful.

The War Against Stickers (Re-Posted and Slightly Updated)

2009-06-25T10:00:00.002-05:00

I realize it has been less than a year since this was posted, but in both a literal (aka, the stickers in my yard are firing up again and the 2009 sticker battle is upon us) and metaphorical spiritually sense (some me, sure, but seems like many folks in my life are needing this challenge right now), this post, one of my favorites, is timely...

As anyone living in North Texas (especially areas that are more rural, or at least recently were) can relate, sticker weeds are a BIG problem in yards. When we moved to our current home in winter 2005, we barely had a yard at all, and what we did have was mostly dirt and stickers. We tried all kinds of things. We dropped seeds. Spread fertilizer and "weed-and-feed". Even sought advice from others...my Granny read about using "dried molasses"...and we did. We hydro-mulched the yard with Bermuda grass hoping it would take over...and to a point it did...but the stickers remained. Occasionally we would have "sticker pulling sessions", but no matter how much we gritted our teeth and tried to pull them, it was always only a fraction of the problem...a multitude of stickers remained. In the front yard, it wasn't as much of an issue since we didn't spend much time there, but our back yard was often "unplayable" to us (especially our young son) due to stickers...

But we didn't give up.

This spring, my wife went to a local nursery and asked about further anti-sticker strategies, specifically so we could win the fight in the back yard so Jackson could run amok at will. She was shown a method that was risky, almost illegal (apparently not though), and had to be done a certain way. Well, we did it (you'll have to ask Missy exactly what it was...I can't even remember!), and waited. At first, it was a big "uh-oh", as much of our back yard began to die. The stuff we liked was turning brown! Did we just kill off our whole yard? We were confused...we were glad to be killing stickers, but in the wiping out of them we had to wipe some "good" stuff away, too...

Well, a neat thing happened, and it wasn't something we even realized immediately. Well, the first part we did: the "good yard" stuff came back...and we even added some new grass (pallets of St. Augustine) in areas that were dominated by dirt and wouldn't grow anything but a few wispy weeds. But then a funny thing happened...one day mid-summer while I was out walking the yard, I suddenly realized something: THERE WERE NO MORE STICKERS! I mean, zero. All other attempts had produced little "sticker removal", and even if they sort-of worked, ultimately they were futile attempts. But when we finally "gave up", and did the extreme thing, it may have hurt a bit, but it worked.

But it hasn't been completely without need to do "yard sweeps" occasionally...

You see, our neighbors' yards (at least on two sides...can't speak for behind us) are chock-full of stickers, and it doesn't seem like they care to fight them. So, occasionally one wanders under a fence, or sticks to a shoe when I need to go retrieve a ball, etc., and drops roots. But you know what? It is no biggie now...the fight doesn't seem "futile". Oh sure, sometimes a bit of pain is still involved, because pulling stickers involves, well, little pokey things that like to dig into your skin! BUT, since we pay close attention (even Jax is in on it now...he is a good "sticker hunter"), we just expose, pluck, and it's gone. And the yard is again clear and safe for free play.

(Waiting for the "life/faith parallel"? Here it comes haha)

We need to do "sticker sweeps" in our own life. We all have crud that holds us back. But the problem often is that we want the easy solution...hoping to "luck out" and it works. One of less commitment, or of less pain being involved. But at some point, we all must realize that dying to "self" is exactly that: dying. But we don't like that. We want to hold on. We want easy. But the only solution is one that is risky... Surrendering to Jesus. Completely. I know we like to say grace is a "free gift", and it is, and that all we must do is believe, and that's true...but anyone who is holistically surrendered to the Lord knows that the process of surrender involves a bit of pain, or change of comfortable attitudes and habits...because once we really give in to God, our "yuck" is exposed. The process of total surrender can even mean some "good" things need to die for a season (like our yard did) to get it to where it needed to be, but the good came back with abundance...and the stickers were gone. Not gone for good since our friends and neighbors may simply not care or understand about our personal sticker removal focus (and temptation and evil will always try to fight through...much like the stickers all around us still try to "jump the fence"), but after total surrender, with realization that Jesus wiped our sins GONE with his death and resurrection, when the stickers try to fight back, as long as we keep "searching our yard" of life often, they are quickly plucked away. And we are again able to run free!

All this also brings a few biblical concepts to mind. First is the concept of "thorns". Several places in the New Testament allude to "thorns". Here are some samples:

Matthew 13:22The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.

2 Corinthians 12:7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.

Hebrews 6:8But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned.

Thorns, like stickers, seem to be those things that take our true focus and allegiance from God. Essentially, sin. Sometimes we "know" God, but are just so hamstrung by the crud holding us back, like the Matthew passage. Sometimes we are tormented, usually when God is doing amazing things, by "thorns in the flesh", like Paul had. And sometimes, we need to realize that when the culture around us is just "thorns and thistles", like the writer of Hebrews says, we need to be wary because it will get thrown to the fire...and we need to often ask, "Lord, is that me/us?"

In the end, however, the hardest part isn't sensing the stickers, thorns, sin in our lives that hold us back from true freedom...it is the willingness to truly die to ourselves and do "whatever is necessary" to come back into utter allegiance to Jesus. It can't be just gritting our teeth and "Taking care of things ourselves", like we tried to do with our sticker-pulling parties: in the end, they were just band-aids and the stickers still remained in force. Ponder this:

Matthew 5:29-30: 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

That's the tough part...the desperate part...the, "but if I totally surrender, I may need to take some drastic measures in my life, and folks will wonder about me" part. But look at yourself. What is your thorn? What needs to be "cut off"? Do you need to quit running with a certain crowd because they bring you down attitudinally or through your actions? Is there a relationship that is pulling you from the Lord? Do you need to put your computer in a public place or get accountability software so you don't look at inappropriate websites? Do you need to humble yourself and seek help from a professional in some area? These are all things that are a part of the "cutting off" process...and it will hurt, expose, etc. BUT, just like our back yard died and came back...we need to "die" and let God regenerate us...so we can truly run, play, dance, FREELY, without fear, with great joy! I still have personal stickers that pop up here-and-there, but I admit a few places I've had to "cut off" or "gouge out", and man, I'm so glad I did. It may have been hard, may have involved some confession to God and others, and the risk of unacceptance, rejection, and embarrassment was there...but it was all worth it so I could again experience the freedom that Jesus speaks of...

"And the more I considered Christianity, the more I found that while it had an established rule and order, the chief aim of that order was to give room for good things to run wild."
--G.K. Chesterton, from "Orthodoxy"

Let's do what it takes and free ourselves so we can run wild for Jesus!

First Real World Parents Seminar

2009-05-21T11:22:00.002-05:00

This is a bit late...but here is what I posted on the Real World Presenters forum. (If you have NO IDEA) what I'm talking about, surf around at www.realworldparents.com or read this).

I presented May 3 at Southcliff Baptist Church in Ft. Worth. I think 60+ registered and 50ish attended (not bad considering it was the prime swine flu time down here in Texas). I had a great time and felt really good about how things went. I presented it pretty straight-forward except for a few changes to session 3. Stuzilla and I agreed that ending the seminar with the Skit Guys' "Dad and Son" video really hit the goal home, sort-of a, "Here's one goal we all have, a hope that when our kids are adults they can have a perspective like this, will remember our wisdom, etc." Apparently it was a hit among attendees and provided future discussion. I also greatly edited the "7 Marks" slides to have more elements similar to the workbook, which I think also helped. But what may have helped me most of all is that Stu and I met together twice to essentially give each other our "mock-up seminar", critique, offer suggestion, etc. That was huge...and I think absolutely made me a better presenter on game day...

Now, some lessons I will take with me to remember before I do another RWP:

*** I will try my best to order resources for sale MUCH earlier, and seek for mailing confirmation. I waited as long as I thought I could (6 days prior to seminar) so I would have a better idea about numbers attending, etc., and the stuff never came. After some phone calls post-seminar, we figured out there was some sort-of payment question, BUT it would have been nice to know that immediately (I never got any emails, calls, etc. letting me know like some online purchases do when there is a question) so I could have remedied it pre-seminar. The cool thing is that YS did give me free next-day shipping due to the snafu and I was able to just take "orders" for materials, sell them at a discount since I did not have resources in hand, and deliver them to Southcliff...

*** I am going to try and find a way to better present the "Isolation/Regulating/Accepting" section of session two. I don't think I did the best job there...essentially, I in the future need to probably still acknowledge that there are still times that we need to isolate or regulate, but what RWP is talking about refers more to parents who "live in those worlds" of isolation/regulation/accepting. There was one comment made to me that apparently I presented it all as if you ever did any of those things, then it was wrong. You and I know that's not true...just when it becomes all-encompassing. So just maybe something to think about...make a disclaimer about, etc.

*** It was REALLY tough for me (and Stu Cocanougher when he presented at our church) to finish in 3 hrs. Sure, we need to start on time (a late-arriving crowd made me have to delay the start about 15 min). Sure, I need to make sure breaks that are meant to be 5-7 min long don't become 10 min like they are prone to (I do think having a "countdown" slide here helped, though...). But by session three, I had to rush just to get done somewhat close to the advertised time (because 3 hrs having kids in the nursery=chaos about to ensue!). We just finished a bit late but wow I feel like session 3 was a blur. But where to cut? Some of the stats in session one? Less personal examples? I realize some of it is just being timely...but sometimes it is hard to control that (like, when a large portion of the group is not present...do you just begin?).

But overall, I LOVED IT! Summer will be tough to schedule any, but I will certainly look at Fall 09/Spring 10 to get some more presentations lined up...

Comfort

2009-05-13T10:40:00.002-05:00

The God of All Comfort
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our[a] behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

Footnotes:
2 Corinthians 1:11 Many manuscripts your

Have you ever had one of those, "I think God is trying to tell me something"-moments? This passage is one of those. I read it a couple days back and since then it has been a major part of two separate sermons I've listened to while exercising. One interesting thing is that different parts of that passage are standing out to me today than did when I read it originally (a cool aspect of scripture...always something new despite repeated readings!).

You see, at first glance, I was drawn to verses 3 and 4, dealing with all the ways the Lord gives compassion and comfort. But after stewing more, being spoken to through the sermons I mentioned, I am today drawn to verses 5-7:
5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
I too often cry out to God to make me feel better, have peace, experience comfort. But why? Usually for selfish reasons, I have realized these past couple days. I just want to feel better. I want to worry less about the unknown. I want folks to not get upset with me for various reasons. I basically want God to slap a band-aid on me. But is there something deeper to the things gnawing at my heart that God will comfort me in? These two verses talk about that purpose. It is so I can empathize (instead of just sympathize) with others going through similar things. It is about the ministry God wants to do through me where I can relate to others, tell of how God got me through, share wisdom, etc. But, I just don't think about it that way enough...

Take right now, for example. The big issue in the Davis household is my wife Missy's struggles to find a full-time teaching gig. She searched so hard a couple years back, decided to just sub, and through that was hired at a local school. But, they didn't renew her contract for whatever reason, and the past year has been spent frantically searching for another full-time teaching job to fill that void, to satisfy Missy's desire to teach, etc. But so far, no dice. And it's getting frustrating. But we need to ask not just, "God, comfort, please!", or, "Hey God, fix this, ok? Thanks," but instead live in the comfort provided by the Comforter AND then seek to minister to others who may be able to relate. In the midst of all this, we also need to re-visit the concept of contentment . As Mark Matlock on a recent post of his said, "When I look back on my life, I can trace my current place in ministry back to specific moments of obedience to live for God in the "now"." This is where I need to live again. Seeking to be faithful to God NOW. Looking for ways I can live in the comfort he promises and minister to those who may benefit from my experiences.

Lessons Learned During an Unintentional Blog Silence...

2009-05-05T10:07:00.004-05:00

So after a whirlwind end of 2008/first few months of 2009 blogging-wise, last month something happened: I just didn't blog much. If you've been keeping up with good ol' haphazardangus for awhile, you know that the vast majority of recent posts have been in the form of "faith ponderings". Essentially, a re-visit of some scripture passage I've read recently. As I had a personal resurgence in late 2008 for personal scripture study, I felt like blogging about my thoughts, challenges, etc., that I found within the readings. It became a pseudo-journaling experience (something I've often been challenged by others to do as a good spiritual exercise, but for whatever reason, just couldn't "get into"); one that I know some read and were blessed by, and I am humbled by that! But in late March and into April (and, if I'm not careful, it could easily bleed into May as well...), I simply got busy. Now, I didn't get too busy to spend time in the Word nearly daily (whew!), but I just didn't "have the time" to revisit the passages later on and reconnect, seek wisdom, share thoughts. At first it was no biggie, but looking back at the past six weeks or so of general silence, I have learned and noticed a few things:

While I am grateful for the continued discipline to seek God first thing in the morning, so seek his wisdom in the scriptures, etc., I now know that all the "you need to journal, Ben"-types were onto something. I realize now that that exercise of regular posting of those ponderings really helped me engage Truth more deeply. I would be forced to make the placing of scripture on my heart an "all-day" affair, as I would ponder Truth multiple times a day. I would more easily remember what God was trying to say to me. And I would also be more apt to look back at old posts and be reminded of stuff, encouraged, challenged. Now? Well sure, I still get up and give God the firstfruits of the day...but too often, what I read in the morning just stays on that couch. I often can't tell you, say, at dinnertime what I read before the sun came up like I used to. That bothers me...

I also have learned that I am crazy busy right now. It's not even "bad stuff", and in many cases, it's necessary stuff. But there is a lot of it right now. Prepping and leading my first Real World Parents seminar (I think it went well; I may post my thoughts soon). Working on a curriculum with other area youth ministers that needs to be ready for "prime time" by early June (and I'm struggling for inspiration). Being a big part of our church's confirmation program going on right now. Trying to help Missy find a teaching job somewhere (I'm helping fill out online applications, etc. They are tedious!). Jax's soccer "stuff". Some new stuff at church I'm somewhat involved in (new parent group, occasionally filling in for the drummer in our contemporary service band, even giving a message later this month, hosting our own Real World Parents seminar, and trying to figure out how to "raise leaders" in our ministry to take them to the next level...). CTCYM mission trip planning that is looming large on the horizon. Some health issues recently (not serious, but more "annoying" that required way too many doctor visits that cut into my time...). And all the while, seeking to be the best dad and hubby I can by giving Jax and Missy as much attention and service I can. But it's a bunch of things, and unfortunately, blogging went by the wayside. What used to be a nice mid-day "break" became, "Oh jeez, now I need to post something..." My breaks became less about renewal (blogging, exercising, etc.) and more just sitting, staring into space or at a facebook page. Something needs to give here...

So, as I sift through this first week of May, my prayer is that my heart will be stirred up to make it all happen again. I am not in a "bad place", but I can tell the "meh" is creeping up if I don't be proactive and do something. That is another lesson I've learned that I wish more Christians would do: When you see the "meh" attitudes toward faith creeping in...DO SOMETHING. Too many times I see myself and others just let the ambivalence creep in...and don't fight it. And then, six months later, you just don't care at all... Thankfully God bashes through at some point, but why wait for that? Let's go NOW!

See you guys here again soon!

"DONKEY!" // Numbers 22:21-35

2009-04-15T11:35:00.002-05:00

Balaam's Donkey 21 Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab. 22 But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the LORD stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. 23 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get her back on the road.
24 Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides. 25 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam's foot against it. So he beat her again.

26 Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff. 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?"

29 Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now."

30 The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?"
"No," he said.

31 Then the LORD opened Balaam's eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.

32 The angel of the LORD asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. [a] 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her."

34 Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back."

35 The angel of the LORD said to Balaam, "Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you." So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.

Footnotes:
Numbers 22:32 The meaning of the Hebrew for this clause is uncertain.

Stuff that stood out:

*** 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?": Ok, some backstory: Balaam was a sort-of prophet, oracle, etc., and he was dealing with a king (Balak) from another land who wanted to conquer Israel. God had: yes, told Balaam to walk with Balak, but not to speak unless God told him to. Apparently, Balaam was doing just that: "sort of" following God, but not all the way. So God did what he does...and used the unexpected to get his point across.

He had Balaam's Donkey do the talking. SAY WHAT? But, it got his attention! Sometimes I think I'm "in God's will"...but honestly, I'm only sort-of doing his will. I need to pay more attention to this passage...

*** 32 The angel of the LORD asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. [a] 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her.": Ouch. Balaam gets completely called out for his trying to do God's will "Balaam's way". That never works. I know that I too often "seek" God's will, but then try to make it happen my way. Not good. And I too have probably treated those around me the same way as Balaam did his donkey...where I wasn't getting my way, and instead of surrendering immediately to the Lord, I make excuses, beat up (metaphorically) those around me who were just trying to help "Get me there", etc. And what does God say? "Without them carrying you...I would have killed you and spared them." Yowsers...

*** 34 Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back."

35 The angel of the LORD said to Balaam, "Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you." So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.: Balaam finally repents and falls on his knees, and essentially states his willingness to abdicate his calling. God then says, "Nope...JUST DO IT MY WAY and you'll be all good..." How sad is it that too often the Lord has to get right in our way to get his point across...but how awesome is it that in his grace and mercy, he still wants US and wants to use us... Oh Lord, help me to seek your way at all times so you don't have to use "talking donkeys"!

Questions for me today:

Am I on;y in "part" of God's will? Am I trying to do it my way?

Who are "donkeys" that are just trying to help and get my attention...but I am punishing instead?

Do I realize, REALLY realize that God doesn't need me, but still WANTS me? How do I respond to that?

...always more for you... // 1 Kings 19:1-18

2009-04-09T10:10:00.002-05:00

This passage just rocked my world recently...

Elijah Flees to Horeb
1 Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them."
3 Elijah was afraid [a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." 5 Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.
All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." 6 He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.

The LORD Appears to Elijah
And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
10 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

14 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

15 The LORD said to him, "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him."

Footnotes:
1 Kings 19:3 Or Elijah saw

Stuff that stood out:

*** "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors."; in verse 4: Oh, how many times have I wondered aloud to God, "What's the point of this?", in reference to me "trying hard to be obedient, do his will, etc.", and feeling like none of it matters? Sadly, too many times. I can surely relate to Elijah here as times when he decides that "enough is enough, already". He is drained. Thinks the message he feels called to deliver is falling on death ears, and at times worse: folks are out to get him! He feels abandoned, purposeless...

*** 7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.: ...and just then, God shows up, shows his promise to provide and strengthen. I need to always look back at the times I was "done" and frustrated, and remember where God showed up and said, "I am not done with you yet!"

*** 14 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

15 The LORD said to him, "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.": A big chunk here, I realize...but I think it is all so pertinent. Basically, Elijah once again pleads his case for being justified in his complaining. "I'm working hard, man, and for what? No one cares...no one seems to share the fire I have for You. And they don't really like that I'm calling them on the carpet..." I think everywhere I've ever been in ministry has had a moment or two like that... But God doesn't ignore. He gives purpose, either reaffirmed or brand new. I have likewise ALWAYS found that to be true when I'm feeling like Elijah here...God shows himself to me, gives (or re-gives) purpose, and off I go...

Questions for me today:

Are there areas of my life where I feel like I've been "doing what God wants", but I'm not seeing the results I'd like so I want to bail?

When has God shown himself and his purposes to me at times I've felt "lost"?

Ranking the U2 Albums UPDATED TO INCLUDE NEW ALBUM

2009-04-08T15:31:00.002-05:00

I have updated these rankings to reflect the inclusion of the newest album, "No Line On the Horizon", as I feel I have listened to it a sufficient amount to give it some justice...

I've been toying with this idea for some time, as U2 are my favorite band. I finally came up with a system (DORK WARNING! DORK WARNING!) that I liked and decided to rank the albums via "song ranking averages"; aka, 1 is "who were the ad wizards who thought this song was a good idea?" to 10, which is "simply one of my favorite songs ever, across the board". I ranked each song and averaged, and each album thus has a score.

A few disclaimers before I post:
*** This is MY ranking...there are some songs by U2 that are deemed "10" by many out there that just don't capture me as much...and I'm sure the reverse is true as well...

*** I am only including true studio albums save "Rattle and Hum", which had enough studio material (vs. "live") to be ranked. As a result, though, I only ranked studio songs for "RaH".

*** What is interesting about this list is how the album I usually consider as my favorite did not get #1 on this list...or 2 or 3 for that matter...this is probably due to the fact that it has such a wide range of rankings...but some of my absolute favorite songs are on that album (I'll leave it to your imagination for now), but it has just enough "meh"-songs to drop it down a bit...

*** My criteria for "highlight songs" on each album was a ranking of 8 or better. Essentially, these are the songs that most "move me"...

HERE WE GO...

# 12: Pop (1997), 4.58 avg: Highlight song: "Wake Up Dead Man"

# 11: Zooropa (1993), 4.7 avg: Highlight song: "The First Time"

# 10: October (1981), 5.18 avg: Highlight song: "Gloria"

# 9: Boy (1980), 5.82 avg: : Highlight songs: "I Will Follow", "Out of Control"

# 8: No Line On the Horizon (2009), 6.00 avg: Highlight Songs: "Magnificent", "Get On Your Boots"

# 7: Rattle and Hum (1988), 6.11 avg: Highlight songs: "Heartland", "When Love Comes to Town", "All I Want is You"

# 6: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (2004), 7.18 avg: Highlight songs: "Vertigo", "City of Blinding Lights"

# 5: Achtung Baby (1991), 7.25 avg: Highlight songs: "Until the End of the World", "Zoo Station", "Mysterious Ways", "The Fly"

# 4: The Unforgettable Fire (1984), 7.3 avg: Highlight songs: "Pride", "Bad", "A Sort of Homecoming", "The Unforgettable Fire", "Wire"

# 3: War (1983), 7.4 avg: Highlight songs: "New Years' Day", "Like a Song", "Sunday Bloody Sunday", "Two Hearts Beat as One", "40"

# 2: All That You Can't Leave Behind (2000), 7.64 avg/7 median:Highlight songs: "Beautiful Day", "Grace", "Walk On", "Elevation", "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of"

# 1: The Joshua Tree (1987), 7.64 avg/8 median: Highlight songs: "Where the Streets Have No Name", "With or Without You", "In God's Country", "Bullet the Blue Sky", "Red Hill Mining Town", "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"

So there you go. The last 6 are quite close, with 1 and 2 being so close I needed a tiebreaker (the median).

Do You Hear? // Matthew 13:18-23

2009-03-31T15:17:00.002-05:00

18"Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: 19When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. 20The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. 21But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. 22The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. 23But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."

Stuff that stood out:

*** I'm going to do this one a bit different than normal. First, instead of posting the entire reading when I had this section (it really started in verse 1), I just did the "what does it mean" section. Second, instead of listing a bunch of separate phrases, I just feel like pondering the whole thing. Who knows where this will lead...

*** I've always been drawn to this parable for some reason. I just think the imagery is so challenging and so true for those who are presented with God's Truth and offer of salvation. I often try to figure out which one is "me"...truth is, I think at one time or another, I've been each of them. I also, though, think these examples are true for folks as a whole. Some hear the Gospel and basically go, "Yeah, whatever..." Some have big, emotional, mountain-top experiences, but in reality it was all "in the moment", or maybe they did it because their friends seemed all wrapped up in God, or maybe they entered into a relationship under the wrong pretense, like, "Jesus will fix EVERYTHING and make your life better!" True? Well, yes...but not like most of us think...sadly so many "accept Christ" it seems so that nothing bad will ever happen to them...or they will get "stuff"...etc. These folks bail (aka, not sure their conversion was "real") when things get tough, don't go their way, or they get challenged to deal with some sin they aren't willing to... I think I relate most with the "fell among thorns" part, albeit I relate at times too well. Why? Well, the "thorny" ones are the ones that really do have a relationship with God, truly have reached a point of real surrender to Christ and want to give everything to him...but too often, because of worry, or distraction, or others' expectations, don't Want to (if you read my blog much, you know what I mean by want vs. Want). We thorny types are too easily brought down to a level of fear, doubt, lack-of-confidence, etc., that hinders us allowing God to speak to (and though) us. My prayer (and thankfully, I have seen glimpses of this in my life, and at times, whole "seasons" where I am here...woohoo God!) is that myself and others will increasingly be like the seed on good soil. The ones who are willing to trust and risk for Christ. The ones who are confident and bold. The ones who make sacrifices to "their wants" in the name of showing others Jesus, and in the name of better seeing the Lord themselves.

So, which one are you?

Questions for me to ponder today:

Which "soil" am I right now? Has this changed?

What "soil" do I need to be? What things may need to happen to get me there?

Do I want to be "good soil", or do I Want to be good soil? Am I willing to do what it takes?

Hakuna Matata on Steroids // Matthew 6:19-34

2009-03-24T13:00:00.002-05:00

Treasures in Heaven
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Do Not Worry
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Footnotes:Matthew 6:27 Or single cubit to his height

Stuff that stood out:

*** 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.: I usually have approached this first section (v. 19-24) as simply a challenge to not be so focused on the material, on "stuff". And that is certainly something I need to remember. But is there something bigger, something connected to the next part (dealing more with "worry")? Absolutely. As I read this morning, I started pondering how the material things in life, whether tangible or more abstract, cause me to have worry. Because the more you "have", the more you have to take care of, right? And what about the temptation to keep up with the Joneses, or be "relevant"? Can that cause me unwanted (or un-needed) worry? You betcha. My allegiances thus get split between God and...my stuff that I have to worry about. Oh sure, I need to be grateful for what I've been blessed with and treat it with respect and as a good steward...but it's when I start spending more time with these temporal things (and thus taking time away from the eternal) that it can get out-of-whack. I need to seek often to have these areas exposed to me...and ask God for re-focus.

*** 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...; 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?: Worry is such a strong and potentially paralyzing emotion. I tend to think of myself who doesn't worry, but I know I do. Now, I may not let it consume me like it does some, but I would be lying if I said I never worry. I worry about how I am raising Jax. I worry if I am a good enough husband. I worry if I am doing enough for the kids in the youth group. I worry about money. I worry that one day I will "jump the shark" and say or do some unfiltered, irresponsible thing and alienate a friend or employer. I worry about whether people trust me or not. I worry about my health. I worry about my family's future in general.

So yeah, I worry.

But what tends to keep me from being consumed and neutered by it? See below...

*** 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.: This is where its' at. Seeking the Lord FIRST, and in ALL THINGS, at ALL TIMES. It is tough to do, as you have to Want it with a capital "W". This concept I use of "want" vs. "Want" can apply to so many things, but when it applies to our relationship with Christ, it can change everything. When I say I want something (lower-case "w"), oh sure, I may like the idea or concept of, say, seeking Him first and his righteousness, but I may only really do it in times of convenience, or only in times when I am at the end of my rope, or when it feels good, etc. But I won't move mountains in life to truly do it. To me, Wanting something (upper-cased "W") involves doing whatever it takes to achieve it. So, Wanting to seek Christ first, seek his perfect ways, etc., involved choices. Sacrifices. Probably looking foolish to some folks. And also in that? Not being a slave to worry! I mean, think about it: What so often keeps people claiming the name "Christian" stuck in just wanting to be true disciples as opposed to Wanting to be disciples? WORRY. Worrying about offending others around them. Worrying about possibly losing a job as a result. Worrying about losing the favor of a coach. Worrying about having to give up some fun sin. Worrying about being truly different in light of following Jesus. Worrying about losing some "freedom" in the quest for Freedom. Worrying that you may have to break off a relationship to truly follow Jesus (a non-married one, of course...).

So I think ultimately worry can play into how much we Want to surrender to Christ vs. if we just want to... And too often, we simply just don't Want to...

Questions for me today:

Where is my treasure? How do I see my true "heart" reflecting my treasure, priorities, wants, etc.?

Where am I letting worry consume me and hinder my walk with Christ?

Do I really Want to seek God in all things...or do I just want to? What would it look like in my life to switch to Wanting instead of just wanting?

What Do I Know? // James 4:13-17

2009-03-19T16:48:00.002-05:00

Boasting About Tomorrow
13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." 16As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. 17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

Stuff that stood out:

*** Well, actually this whole section stuck out... In fact, my daily reading contained the first 6 verses of chapter 5 as well, but they just didn't seem to "fit" together today...maybe another time...

*** I will split my musings into two parts. The first is verses 13-15. I see so much of this in life. I make grand plans and don't a) ponder other paths and/or b) give room for God to "do his thing". It seems like James is telling us two things: First, that we often are waaaaay too flippant about our decisions, our plans, and our schemes. I mean, I may get broadsided by a truck while running tomorrow! I have no clue what may happen even in the next five minutes... Oh sure, I should just live my life as best I can, preferably as an act of worship and gratitude for Christ's undeserved love of my soul... Second, verse 15 tells us that in many ways it's all about our attitude as we approach life, decisions, etc. "If it's the Lord's will..." Notice the difference in focus there? It means we can still make decisions, but acknowledges (and is OK with...) that ultimately God is sovereign and in control, and thus he will do whatever he wills in our future for his glory alone. I may have hopes, goals, and dreams for what lies ahead for my family (trust me: I do), and sure, I need to be diligent in seeking wise possibilities, action plans, and decisions. BUT, I must do it all with a focused attitude and heart that says, "If what I kinda want to happen is in your will, ROCK ON, but if not? That's still the best way, YOUR way!"

*** The second musing is focused on verse 17: Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. I think I've mentioned this before, but when I am confused about God's will, I unfortunately tend to mean the "big, long-term decisions and direction for my life", instead of, "Hey God, what do I need to be a part of TODAY? What are the attitudes and actions that are also your will?" Verse 17 speaks to that for me. There are things I can do every day that are ALWAYS God's will. Treating others with respect. Making Christ first in my life. Loving my wife through thick and thin. Giving my best for Jesus. Listening to others. Repentance. Seeking to let the Word saturate my heart (and that means some tough decisions about behavior, attitude, etc.). And the one mentioned in this verse is so key: Knowing what is right, and still choosing to ignore it...

Questions for me today:

What dreams/goals/hopes, etc., in my life do I need to truly give over to the Lord (aka, so I would be "cool" with a different path of his choosing)?

What are some areas of my daily life that I can seek to be more in tune with who God wants me to be?

In a Rare (as of lately) Blogging Lull

2009-03-14T09:10:00.002-05:00

It was funny, after a flurry of posts the first week of March (something like 6 in 5 days!), I thought that March might end up being the first time I got close to a "post-a-day" average...

...well, then this week I didn't post at all! Plenty of reasons: Busy working on mission trip sign-ups/planning, some health stuff I needed to deal with, etc. Nothing huge, and I actually did have my daily readings, um, daily. I was planning on visiting some of those readings this morning as a blog but Jax woke up (and I can't give the scriptures "justice" when we're watching Imagination Movers together haha).

So I hope to get back to some posts next week, even when I'm in the Houston area for a little Spring Break visit!

Re-Booted // 2 Corinthians 5:11-6:2

2009-03-05T09:42:00.002-06:00

The Ministry of Reconciliation
11Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. 12We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. 13If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
16So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 6
1As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. 2For he says,
"In the time of my favor I heard you,
and in the day of salvation I helped you."[b] I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation.

Footnotes:
2 Corinthians 5:21 Or be a sin offering
2 Corinthians 6:2 Isaiah 49:8

Stuff that stood out:

*** 16So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!: What does this mean? What about times when I don't "feel" any different than the guy that existed before Christ became my Lord? These are questions every Christian needs to ponder often. Why? Well, this scripture tells/reminds us that if we have truly been claimed by Christ, then we will be different people on the inside. Oh sure, there are times when I just want to do my thing, don't "feel" like doing the difficult things that are part of being a disciple of Jesus, but I can look back and see the overall change of heart and attitude...to me, this is one of the evidences of my "re-boot" back in 1990...it just takes time (like, truthfully, ones' entire lifespan!). Things are so different now... But, the hard answer we may get to asking if we are truly new creations is when we realize that nothing on the inside has changed. Oh sure, for a new believer much may be the same save a new hope in ones' life due to their realization of salvation, but I know so many that when asked if they are any different now on a heart level then when they "said a salvation prayer", sadly they cannot find any real change...that should keep us awake at night...

*** 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.: Who re-boots us, reconciles us? GOD. No one else, nothing else. He has done what is necessary to bring us back into the fold despite the countless strikes against us due to sin. Shouldn't that realization be enough to result in the "new" talked about in v. 17? It should... Also, it should compel us to seek reconciliation with others around us, and quickly...because just like it's close cousin forgiveness, since God has offered us reconciliation, we need to be reconcilers as well out of gratitude...

*** 20We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God.: What is an ambassador? When I think of that title, I think of people selected by a higher authority to represent their "true home" in a foreign land. This not only involves the sharing of the things of "home" with the folks in this foreign land, but also being a student of their culture as well, learning how to appreciate and "speak their language" (not just literally...). So, how am I an ambassador for Christ? I know many consider America a "Christian land", but sadly, I do not think it is, at least not anymore. Maybe where you live there is not a hostility to the true message of Jesus (even if the folks around you "take it for granted" and haven't truly wrestled with what it all means...), but I can assure you there are whole sections of this country that are quite hostile to Christianity for various valid and in-valid reasons...but the hostility exists nonetheless. So, as one reconciled to God, a rebooted person, I need to represent Jesus to "foreigners" in my own land. I need to learn the "language". I need to see what the customs are. Do I need to use this as an excuse to do things that may not be beneficial to my faith or Christ's message? No...but I do need to take a long look at how (and more importantly, if) I represent my Lord to those around me. Am I welcoming, or do I put up walls? Am I joyful and hopeful at ALL times (even in the midst of great strife), or do I easily become bitter? Do I try to learn about the culture around me, or do I avoid it altogether? Good questions for an ambassador to ponder...

Ranking the U2 Albums (in honor of their new release)

2009-03-03T21:06:00.002-06:00

I've been toying with this idea for some time, as U2 are my favorite band. I finally came up with a system (DORK WARNING! DORK WARNING!) that I liked and decided to rank the albums via "song ranking averages"; aka, 1 is "who were the ad wizards who thought this song was a good idea?" to 10, which is "simply one of my favorite songs ever, across the board". I ranked each song and averaged, and each album thus has a score.

A few disclaimers before I post:
*** This is MY ranking...there are some songs by U2 that are deemed "10" by many out there that just don't capture me as much...and I'm sure the reverse is true as well...

*** I have so far chosen to not rank the new album, "No Line on the Horizon"...although I may leave some small commentary at the end based on my initial opinions...

*** I am only including true studio albums save "Rattle and Hum", which had enough studio material (vs. "live") to be ranked. As a result, though, I only ranked studio songs for "RaH".

*** What is interesting about this list is how the album I usually consider as my favorite did not get #1 on this list...or 2 or 3 for that matter...this is probably due to the fact that it has such a wide range of rankings...but some of my absolute favorite songs are on that album (I'll leave it to your imagination for now), but it has just enough "meh"-songs to drop it down a bit...

*** My criteria for "highlight songs" on each album was a ranking of 8 or better. Essentially, these are the songs that most "move me"...

HERE WE GO...

# 11: Pop (1997), 4.58 avg: Highlight song: "Wake Up Dead Man"

# 10: Zooropa (1993), 4.7 avg: Highlight song: "The First Time"

# 9: October (1981), 5.18 avg: Highlight song: "Gloria"

# 8: Boy (1980), 5.82 avg: : Highlight songs: "I Will Follow", "Out of Control"

# 7: Rattle and Hum (1988), 6.11 avg: Highlight songs: "Heartland", "When Love Comes to Town", "All I Want is You"

# 6: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (2004), 7.18 avg: Highlight songs: "Vertigo", "City of Blinding Lights"

# 5: Achtung Baby (1991), 7.25 avg: Highlight songs: "Until the End of the World", "Zoo Station", "Mysterious Ways", "The Fly"

# 4: The Unforgettable Fire (1984), 7.3 avg: Highlight songs: "Pride", "Bad", "A Sort of Homecoming", "The Unforgettable Fire", "Wire"

# 3: War (1983), 7.4 avg: Highlight songs: "New Years' Day", "Like a Song", "Sunday Bloody Sunday", "Two Hearts Beat as One", "40"

# 2: All That You Can't Leave Behind (2000), 7.64 avg/7 median:Highlight songs: "Beautiful Day", "Grace", "Walk On", "Elevation", "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of"

# 1: The Joshua Tree (1987), 7.64 avg/8 median: Highlight songs: "Where the Streets Have No Name", "With or Without You", "In God's Country", "Bullet the Blue Sky", "Red Hill Mining Town", "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"

So there you go. The last 6 are quite close, with 1 and 2 being so close I needed a tiebreaker (the median). Where does "No Line on the Horizon" rank? Well, it's entirely too early to make a true ranking (only heard most songs on it once), but at first glance, I'd say in the "Rattle and Hum"-range ("6ish"). But, one interesting thing is while I have generally enjoyed the songs at some level, I'm not finding ANY "8 or aboves" so far on it...even my least favorite U2 albums have at least one song that I think is worthy of mention as a classic U2 song...not sure yet if "NLotH" will deliver that... I may update this list later when I feel I have a better grasp of things!

All About Attitude: // Philippians 2:1-11

2009-03-03T10:20:00.004-06:00

Imitating Christ's Humility
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Footnotes:Philippians 2:6 Or in the form of
Philippians 2:7 Or the form

Stuff that stood out:

*** 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.: Paul, you know you are talking about us silly humans here, right? You know, the ones that would rather have "their own way" on everything, always want to be "right", will talk behind someone's back like it's no biggie? Oh...you still want us to be unified? Ok...I guess we need to be praying like crazy!

In all seriousness, this challenge is so important to the expansion of Christ's message. We can say the "right things" all day long...but if all we do is quarrel and live in selfishness, well, we aren't going to get far, are we? I think one of the most important (and at times, difficult...) attitudes all followers of Jesus MUST seek is great humility. I may not always agree with someone...but is it my job to nit-pick, to tell them what I would do, and to freely go tell others how I think something should be done (when the "something" may have nothing to do with the ministry I've been called to, nothing to do with my gifts, etc.)? I think not...sadly, though, I have too often been "that guy"... I think most of us are guilty of this bad attitude. I have been praying so much lately that God would a) expose my heart to me when I start "going there" and b) that I wouldn't go there in the first place... While perfection hasn't been achieved, I have seen areas in my life improving in this... I don't want you to think I am some "raging gossip/slanderer/etc.", but I also know I am not immune to being just like some of the folks I can so easily complain about...

*** ...in humility consider others better than yourselves.; verse 3: There's that word again, humility. I think Paul's challenge to "consider others better than yourselves" is at the heart of humility. I may have wants, dreams, desires, thoughts, etc., but "me" should not be first. I think the best place (and sometimes the toughest place) to start practicing humility is in my own family. I need to lay down "me" for Missy and Jax, just because. Well, not "just because", but more specifically, because I am to model Christ's love for his Bride, the Church, to them...and, well, we all know what he went through on her/our behalf... The struggle for me is that sometimes I get caught in a bad-attitude of thinking, "Hey, I've been sacrificing alot lately! When is it my turn?!" Not what my attitude and priority should be...

*** 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus...: And if all that above wasn't tough enough...there's this, haha! Really, though, this is what we should all pray for and earnestly seek: the attitude and heart of Christ in ALL THINGS. Not easy...and it doesn't mean we "get points" and get always tangibly "blessed" in return...but that isn't the point. Is doing the Lord's work truly a priority? Then we need the attitude of Jesus all over us...

Questions for me today:

Are there any relationships I need to seek reconciliation and forgiveness in, so that God's purpose can be more plainly achieved?

Where can I be more humble, especially those areas where I feel entitled to lack humility?

A Big Spiritual Week for Jax

2009-03-02T12:26:00.004-06:00

I thought I'd share a bit about two cool things that happened last week. First was Ash Wednesday at our church. I had heard rumors that Jax had told our senior pastor that, "He didn't want his ashes" when Jax was asked if he was going to get ashes at the service. So, as a result, we figured he "wasn't ready" and sent him to the nursery.

Well, after the service I went to pick him up. Jax saw my ashes (in a cross on my forehead) and got upset... "I want ashes, too!" I told him I had heard he didn't want any, and he said he did now. So, we went to see if the pastor was still in the sanctuary, which thankfully he was (along with two others). I motioned him over and told Jax to ask if he would put ashes on him, and Jax did just that. Glenn (our pastor) gladly went to get the "ash bowl" and kneeled down to Jax and placed a sign of the cross on his forehead. Jax then went, "Hey, that didn't hurt!" Haha...I think he was scared it would! But the really cool thing was that yesterday (Sunday) at church, he was sad that his ashes had washed off. "I want them on all the time!" Missy and I couldn't help but smile... A guy behind us, upon hearing Jax, suggested he get a forehead tattoo, haha...

Yesterday also was very cool to me as Jax decided to participate in the beautiful sacrament of communion for the first time at church. We had explained it to him before (well, in the best way we figured a 4 1/2 year-old would understand), and he decided it was time. He quietly kneeled at the altar between Missy and I and took communion...I almost started full-on crying (I did tear up some...) after he took the bread (body of Christ)...he said "Thank you" to our associate pastor, who administered it to him...

I certainly don't believe Jax was "born saved" (I do know many smart folks who think that God has mercy on young children until they acheive some sort-of "age of accountability" when they can comprehend The Cross, sin, etc... I'm just not sure what I think about it biblically right now), or even pretend to fully understand what his relationship to God is right now at such an early age...but I pray that through experiences like this, through how Missy and I live, speak, and worship Christ, etc., that our sweet little boy will one day realize that Jesus work on the cross makes true reconciliation to God possible for him...

Ask and Ye Shall Recieve...

2009-03-02T09:43:00.002-06:00

Several months ago, I had one of those "give up and just ask for it" moments with God. It involved my own personal passion and desire to seek Him through the scriptures. I have had various "flirtations" I suppose you could say to really studying the Bible, and I've been in various Bible studies over the years, but if I'm honest, most attempts were more because it was something I "should" do as a Christian. And at my most "meh" moments, the reading of scripture by my own eyes became something I did more for the benefit of others (aka, preparation for a lesson or message...), and while I did pay attention in those times...it still was just "scripture study because I have to". No bueno...

Well, I got fed up with my lack-of "want to" when it came to personal study of God's Word. I got fed up being a follower of Jesus who still couldn't list "reading the Bible" honestly as many of my peers could when asked about one of their most cherished activities. It wasn't as much a jealousy thing as an honest "wish" that I had such a passion for the Bible. I mean, I can read almanacs all day, look at atlases, and COMPLETELY devour the info at a disturbing rate (just ask my friends who try to play me at Trivial Pursuit haha :-) ), why can't I seem to "want to" do that with the Holy Scriptures that are supposed to guide my entire being?????? Well, I finally gave that frustration up to God, and a funny (but should NEVER have been surprising) thing happened...

...I actually started WANTING to read the Bible. To really study and engage with it, not just to "check off that I read my Bible today". And you know what else? It has affected me! I'm not perfect AT ALL because of it...but there are so many ways that my eyes have been opened...to the darkness of my heart at times...to how I am to love my wife like Jesus loves his bride, the Church...to how EVERYTHING I DO is to be an act of worship to the Most High God (singing, this blog, playing with Jax, how I minister to my wife, patience in lines, what I say about others...you name it...), etc. Just so much stuff. Oh sure, I knew so many of those "concepts" before through sermons, conversations, or other times of Bible study...but for some reason, it's just sticking more. Motivating me more. And also, when I don't have my "time" in the morning...I miss it. Terribly. I can assure you THAT emotion never existed before. It was more like, "Oh well, I didn't read my Bible today...I'll just pick up later," and usually, I never did...

Of course, this love and motivation to devour scripture has resulted in an, "I took the red pill" (think The Matrix) kind of thing happening to me. My heart aches more for those that don't know Jesus. A boldness is coming out of me more-and-more. Sometimes it doesn't get the reaction in others I'm hoping for...but I soldier on seeking a merciful heart in all of it (because if I'm not careful, I can become "That Christian" who is just wanting folks to know God like I do, DANG IT! ...but gets bitter and frustrated when they don't...instead of just loving them and continuing to live my faith as an example...).

So thanks God for finally breaking through my walls and planting a desire for your Word!!!!!! Forgive me for just giving it little bits and pieces of my attention over the years...

Planet Wisdom 2009 ("PW")

2009-03-01T07:54:00.003-06:00

Hey folks. Well, 2009's edition of Planet Wisdom has come and gone...and it was awesome as usual. I will say, this year was different for me on many levels, but certainly not in bad ways.

*** First off, I confess I went in (well, by Friday I'd say I was generally "better") with not the best attitude... I had many kids "drop" at the last minute, and while they were for various reasons (and a couple were VERY legit), I guess it just broke/breaks my heart that kids these days are pulled in so many directions. I know, "Well, that's life!" someone told me last week when I brought it up, and I know that I may very well eat my frustrations on this when Jax becomes a teen (but I pray Missy and I seek to encourage a balance in him where Jesus is first...but he can still experience things, be able to participate in activities he's gifted in, etc. I just hope his faith doesn't suffer...). But still, It just breaks my heart that kids so often have to choose growing their faith vs. so many other things... I'm not saying this so much because it make me feel validated when they all come...but I hear stories of kids in tears because someone in charge of their extracurricular activity basically gives them an "us or them" choice... But, I have to keep faith in the sovereignty of God, that those who joined us this weekend were EXACTLY who were supposed to be there...

*** The Skit Guys were hilarious again! Really, these guys should do a tour, just them, just for laughs with some "good spiritual ponderings" mixed in. I'd pay to go see that...

*** While PW still seemed like PW, it was nice to see them branch out some as far as "how" they did the whole thing. Mixed up the timing some, added more interactive stuff with kids, lots of cool new multi-media stuff that I think helped with the theme ("Unlikely Heroes"). And while I'll honor the need for surprise...what I heard about next year sounds REALLY cool...

*** Dutton led worship this year, and they were the best band PW has had in my opinion. Great music, personality, and most of all an obvious sense of seeking to lead everyone to the Throne of God in worship singing. Check them out...

*** It was cool to feel like I was among friends in ministry. I have always enjoyed fellowship with fellow youth ministry-types, and try to get to know as many as I can, but for whatever reason this year I just seemed to know so many folks. Many times I'd hear "Ben!" and have to go say hey to folks. People sneaking up in the youth ministry meetings and smacking me in the back, etc. Fun stuff. While I can be quite introverted, I do love being with people... Even met someone who recognized me from the PW promo video I was on...THAT was weird, won't lie... Ah, celebrity :-) I also got to network a bit about Real World Parents, and it looks like I'm doing a RWP seminar at Southcliff Baptist Church in late-April...I'll post exact dates later...Excited!

*** Marvin Dawson and his cousin Lisa Burns drove up from Houston and College Station just to go to PW with us. I didn't know Lisa (she's cool!), but Marvin was a 7th grader my last year at Chapelwood in Houston...and now he's a big ol' "soon-to-be Aggie". It was such a joy to see the young man of God he's become...rewards in youth ministry are often down-the-road...and having him around was one of those times!

*** Finally, and truly most important, was the way God worked through Mark Matlock and the whole PW team this year. There is an altar call time at the end for people to surrender to Jesus (for the first time or to re-commit), and usually for whatever reason, our kids don't sense the call to do that. That's fine, as I want those times to be REAL...so I don't get discouraged. This year one of my kids (Sage) went down to re-commit, and he opened up about some emotional stuff that he's been dealing with (I knew about them...but he always was "fine"). It was an honor to spend time praying with and encouraging him that God loves him and cares DEEPLY about him, even in hard times... This was (for that and other reasons) truly the most "emotional" PW I've been at. I think I cried at least 3 times. The Matlock's Compassion video about their trip to India (even though I've seen it THREE TIMES). The altar call time I just wrote about. Going "downstairs" (we sat in the upper-deck this year) to pray with Wes and Miles during worship... And maybe even another random time I can't remember. Anyway, God moved. He went above and beyond my expectations, which should NEVER surprise me!

Getting Away // Mark 1:29-39

2009-02-25T11:15:00.003-06:00

Jesus Heals Many
29As soon as they left the synagogue, they went with James and John to the home of Simon and Andrew. 30Simon's mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told Jesus about her. 31So he went to her, took her hand and helped her up. The fever left her and she began to wait on them.
32That evening after sunset the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon-possessed. 33The whole town gathered at the door, 34and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place
35Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. 36Simon and his companions went to look for him, 37and when they found him, they exclaimed: "Everyone is looking for you!"
38Jesus replied, "Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come." 39So he traveled throughout Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out demons.

Stuff that stood out:

*** He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was.; verse 34: It's kinda funny that my morning reading asked me to include verses 29-34, as the "point", apparently, of the reading was to talk about prayer. I think one reason I was asked to read this part was to show that in the midst of all the "stuff" Jesus was asked to do, he still got away from it all... But this specific verse was interesting as a bit of a detour from that theme. Throughout the accounts of Jesus, there are examples of him doing/saying something amazing, and then telling the folks impacted to "shush", so to speak. I've always wondered, "Why?" Was it reverse psychology, knowing that we humans tend to NOT do what we're told (aka, when told, "keep quiet about me", we instead run off and tell everyone...you are clever, Jesus!)? I think it actually may be some of that. But the demons here (and elsewhere)? Why keep them quiet? Maybe so that his "revealing" wasn't so blatant yet? I dunno...It has just always been an interesting thing to me I suppose...

*** 35Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.: Here is what stuck out most on a personal, spiritual challenge level to me. You see, I have always struggled with prayer. Why, how, all that. Lately I have been "cool" with the great mystery of prayer and the call to do it obediently, but it still can make me wonder. Can one change God's mind with our requests? I say scripture says "no"...and when there are "examples" of it (usually in the Old Testament), I think God already had stuff in motion, he just "changed his mind" to let folks know he was listening, cared, had a plan, etc. So, I don't buy into what is called "Open Theism": essentially, that God's plan isn't all laid out yet, that we can have influence on his decisions, etc. Problem is, for so long we've been modeled prayer as almost begging God to do what we want him to... Sometimes it is for reasons as noble as healing, etc., but too often it is something petty like, "Make us to win our game tonight." Not sure God thinks it matters if your team wins...maybe, "God help us to keep our hearts and attitudes focused on you tonight in this game so that we play our hardest as an act of worship to you and as a witness to your glory."? There are examples of asking for needs in scripture, so part of the mystery is that, but it also seems those requests are sprinkled with an ultimate request for God's will to be done...

But what is the purpose of prayer, then, if it needs to be much more than just asking for what we want? I think prayer is listening to God, and at times, the words we speak are for US. We are told that the Spirit speaks (and groans)for us when we are in prayer...just what if when we "say things" to God, that is the Spirit reminding us of Truth? Of what we need to hear and remember that day? I often catch myself praying for things, asking God to give me strength, or courage, or eyes to see where he's at work where I may join in, etc., and what happens? Just by saying those things, I'm more likely to remember them that day. I think that is part of God's way to answer prayer. For example, this morning I prayed for strength, wisdom, and clarity about a situation today, knowing that God can do all that in me. And while I did feel strength at that time that I fully attribute to the Holy Spirit comforting my heart, you know how I also know God is answering that prayer? Because I am remembering what I prayed about this morning. My attitude is closer to God because I have been able to be reminded that God is granting me courage. Wisdom. Clarity. And it results in a sense of peace. Could that be what much of prayer is? The goal of peace and trust in our hearts in ALL things?

Questions for me today:

Why don't I seek to get away with God more? What am I afraid of? Is it silence? Is it really hearing God (and maybe not liking it)?

Is one aspect of prayer to just be reminded of what I prayed for, and thus walk on in faith?

Holistic Worship...but With Humility // Romans 12:1-8

2009-02-24T09:57:00.003-06:00

Living Sacrifices
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his[b]faith. 7If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Footnotes:
Romans 12:1 Or reasonable
Romans 12:6 Or in agreement with the

Stuff that stood out:

*** 1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship.: When I hear the word "worship", I confess that all-too-often I think of singing praise songs/hymns, or at most adding to those songs things like prayer, offerings, and hearing a sermon/message at a specific time once a week ("worship service"). Those things are (and absolutely should be) ways we worship the Lord. But when I encounter this verse, I start realizing that my worship of the Savior should go WAY beyond singing or hanging out in a church for an hour-ish once a week. In fact, when asked what are some verses that drive me, I must admit that this is one of the "biggies". I certainly don't live up to it, more times than I care to admit. However, I remember the first time I truly engaged this verse (aka, "not just hearing/reading it passively and moving on with my day"), it was life-shaking for me...I started realizing that things as mundane as how I stand in line at Taco Bell can be an act of worship...how I drive (and treat other drivers) can be an act of worship. EVERYTHING needs to be an act of worship...

*** 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.: I think this is key to beginning to achieve the goals in verse 1. Faith is not only at "heart-thing", it also needs to be a mind-thing. Sure, it starts in the heart, but then we must seek to allow it to spread all over, especially our attitudes and approaches toward life. I consider that often a mind-thing. As I look at my own life, it's the times when I choose to actively seek Christ through daily prayer and meditation, through active reading of the scriptures (which means more than just reading it...it means asking God to reveal Truth...and engaging it often during the course of the day...in fact, this blog is usually one way I "engage" and revisit the scriptures I've been reading...) where I start sensing and being more open to God's direction in my life. I hear so many folks wondering how they can "tell what God wants them to do". The answer? The "church answer": READ, PRAY, LIVE... Problem is that we have to choose those things...even when we aren't "feeling it"...

*** 3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought... (emphasis mine): I will confess, though...one sad "byproduct" (if you will) to when I am feeling "close to God" is an arrogance toward others who just don't seem to be getting it... Often it comes out as a frustration more than anything. Oh sure, a passion for others to surrender to and know Christ fully is a good thing, and needs to be worn on my sleeve, but great care and humility has to be sought in the process. I know I myself have had a bad "taste" in my mouth at times when I am around arrogant believers (or, what I perceive as a spiritual arrogance...), but I can be that guy too if not careful...

Questions for me today:

What parts of my life am I not treating as worship? Am I too "compartmentalized"?

What attitudes and "mind-renewal" areas do I need today?

How can I humbly be passionate about faith (and faith in others) without being arrogant or a jerk?

I'll Be There in a Sec, Jesus... // Luke 14:15-24

2009-02-23T13:50:00.003-06:00

The Parable of the Great Banquet
15When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, "Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God."
16Jesus replied: "A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. 17At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, 'Come, for everything is now ready.'

18"But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.'

19"Another said, 'I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.'

20"Still another said, 'I just got married, so I can't come.'

21"The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.'

22" 'Sir,' the servant said, 'what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.'

23"Then the master told his servant, 'Go out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full. 24I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.' "

Stuff that stood out:

*** 18"But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, 'I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.'

19"Another said, 'I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.'

20"Still another said, 'I just got married, so I can't come.': Excuses, excuses. I am the king of them. Spiritually speaking, this is something that gets us in so much trouble, and I think in our American/"civilized" society, it is all the harder. We have so many "important" things pulling at us, so many lists that need to be completed, so much criteria that must be met before we will surrender to Jesus and follow him. I think this keeps so many of us from truly being a disciple. We have had a "surface" taste of God, and we like the concept of having him in our lives, but we let stuff get in the way. Business. Worry. Fear. Sports. Relationships. Grades. Insecurities. Addiction. You name it. These are all things I need to remember, but the next few verses are what "hit me" is what really should freak me out...

*** Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.'; verse 21: Now, I certainly don't have anything against the crippled, blind, or 'lame', and it's awesome to know that Jesus cares deeply about them. But this response was given as the ones who are "too busy", distracted, etc., allowed their priorities to put off Jesus...and what does Jesus say? "Oh, it's ok...I'll be around, no worries." Oh wait, that's not what he said...

*** 24I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.': Ouch. That freaks me out. How many times have I put off the Lord so I could just do what I felt like doing, or convinced myself I was too busy to truly follow? Too many times to count, if I'm honest. That ain't good. But where this should scare more folks claiming the name Christian is that Jesus doesn't say stuff like, "Oh, it's ok...just let me know when you're ready,", he basically doesn't let them in at all. That doesn't sound like the welcoming Jesus I'm used to hearing about. But it does make me think about other similar examples that are pretty tough...like the rich guy who is asked to get rid of all possessions...and he can't. Or even the concept of idolatry. Simply put, if we really are followers of Jesus, then we should be wanting to not miss him. I am so grateful to God's grace and forgiveness in my failings, my inattention, etc., but verses like this should wake me (and others) up...

Questions for me today:

Am I making some excuses right now that are keeping me from following Jesus?

"If You Walk Away (walk away), I'll Walk Away (walk away)...I Will Follow" // Luke 14:25-35

2009-02-20T07:15:00.002-06:00

The Cost of Being a Disciple
25Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
28"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'

31"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

34"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? 35It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.
"He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

Stuff that stood out: I think this set of verses is one of the hardest truths for me to hear. Why? Well, I'll get into it more as I break down some verses...but if I call myself a Christian, Follower of Jesus, Believer, etc., this passage is one I must hear and "digest"... And yes, the "title" I gave this posting is an old U2 song...been listening to them alot lately in anticipation of their new album :-), but I think the lyric applies here (and it's all that was going through my head as I pondered what to call this post...).

*** 26"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.: Wow. There it is. Jesus really "went there". He threw it all out there for us to see when it comes to how strong our surrender to Him must be. Jesus talks elsewhere about other things that "get in the way" of following Him, and while they are also hard (money, possessions, power, etc.), at least they are material in some fashion. But family? Friends? My own life? Oh boy... I even catch myself qualifying this list here into "rankings" of sorts. I can see possibly having to give up ones' own family-of-origin for the sake of Jesus (think, "I am a Christian now...and I can't live to please you or meet your 'dreams' for me anymore..." Someone very close to me has had to make decisions like this...). I can even see giving up my physical life for the Lord (although I realize it would be immeasurably tough to not "sell out" just to save my skin...). I think the one that would honestly be toughest for me is giving up my wife and child. What on earth does this look like? Thankfully, my family (wife/kid) are on my side as far as following Christ...but what if one day I sense God calling me/us in a certain direction...and my wife says, "Uh-uh...no way...you go do that, you might as well just keep on walkin'"? Isn't my family my primary ministry? Aren't I supposed to sacrifice all things on their behalf just like Jesus does for the Church? I know God hates and detests divorce, so if one day it's either Jesus or my family...do I just walk away and "ditch" them (and I do know people who have "divorced in the name of Jesus"...and I catch myself judging them...forgive me, Lord...?)? As I said, this is a hard couple verses...but if nothing else, it says that following Christ must truly be FIRST to a Christian. Not pleasing family, friends, others; not just trying to save my own skin and getting what I want.

*** 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him...: I also have seen this problem in my life before and thankfully the older I get I seem to get better at a) completing things and b) discerning what never needs to be "started" or promised in the first place. But I also think this speaks to those who gleefully start following Jesus in a sprint (often based on an emotion-driven "conversion experience", or being "saved" based on promises that God will "fix all my problems"...), but as the reality that yes, bad stuff will still happen to you even if you are saved, or that once you get farther from the "rah rah" environment where you were caught up in the moment and said, "Yes, Lord!", I think it is easy to stop following... I'm not trying to sound harsh (Jesus does plenty of that in this passage, haha), and I do truly affirm that Christ does save in circumstances like this. I just hope that if one's experience with meeting Jesus was emotionally-driven, at some point they hit a crossroads and say, "Ok...so I didn't realize it would be so hard..." or "Hang on, I prayed a prayer! How come I still struggle? How come my mom got sick? I thought all of that was gone!?", and will see the truth of Jesus' saving of our dark souls instead of just what "felt good" at the time or that we were saved because we were shown Jesus as some sort-of therapist that would make us "live like a champion" (heehee). Does Christ reconcile all things? YES. But on his terms, in his way...and we, unfortunately, look for it on OUR terms...and can get confused and disappointed when things are tough. Oh Lord, give me/us the strength to realize that simply the act of paying for our Sin on the cross was ENOUGH for us to fall on our face, to run to you (and from ourselves), and follow no matter what!

Questions for me today:

What "dynamic" listed here would be the toughest for me to walk away from in the name of following Jesus?

Am I a "finisher" of the things of God, or a "quitter"?

Word Up // Luke 16:19-31

2009-02-18T10:09:00.003-06:00

The Rich Man and Lazarus
19"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. 20At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores 21and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.
22"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23In hell,[a] where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

25"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'

27"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, 28for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'

29"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

30" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

31"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

Footnotes:
Luke 16:23 Greek Hades

Stuff that stood out:

Basically, there is a trio of verses at the end of this passage that really "hit" me. I don't mean to diminish the rest of the passage, but much of it, to me, boils down to one of the roles of the Word of God: to show God to others...

*** 29"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

30" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

31"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' ": So you have a guy here, who is like many of us, that has lived a life of plenty, of provision, etc., but is dismayed to discover that ultimately his soul was dark...and he is judged accordingly. He realizes the Truth he missed for so long, and starts bartering with Abraham to let his family and friends know what he now realizes, even in his current state apart from God. Abe says something like, "Well, they have God's Word, and if they've explored that, they should have everything they need for belief." The rich guy says, "Not enough...maybe if we throw some ghosts or magic at them they'll be convinced."

Problem is, Abraham says, "Nope...the Word is sufficient. If they've been truly exposed to it and its' message, they have all they need."

We struggle with that so often. Needing more tangible "proof" (although I'm sure seeing supernatural stuff, etc., would instead be seen as just hallucinations, etc., and thus little heart change occurs). I often think back to the time of Christ and wonder, "How on earth could all those people see the miraculous wonders Jesus performed but still not truly believe!?" Sadly, though, I think the same thing happens today. Sure, there may not be all the overt miracles, but the attitude of, "Show me something real, and then I'll ponder believing", is rampant. And I do sympathize, as I realize that only God himself could have opened my heart to his Truth, so it's "easier" I suppose for me to believe scripture, etc. But I also know of the power of God's Word ALONE to be used by the Holy Spirit to completely change some one's heart. I have several friends that were converted simply from reading scripture and being convicted of the Truth within. And as one who knows he has been saved by grace, I need to take the contents and message of scripture most seriously, even when I get confused, or even say stuff like, "That's expecting too much, God!", "How on earth could that be real", etc.

Therefore, none of us is "off the hook" once we've been confronted with the Truth of God's Word...

Questions for me today:

In what ways do I still seem to need "tangible proof" in my faith?

Do I view scripture as God's ultimate authority and current revelation to us? Is it enough for me, even if I never saw God's hand in my life again?

What do I tell others that aren't following Christ, but say, "I might if I had better proof"?

On Being Clingy

2009-02-17T13:26:00.004-06:00

Psalm 63
A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

9 They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.

10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

I did a rare thing in this blog today. I actually had a full posting based on Romans 8:1-17 all ready to go...and I erased it. Oh, there is amazing truth in that passage, and just the exercise of writing it helped me engage that truth. But, after looking at my thoughts, etc., I just wasn't "down with it". And then, I thought of Psalm 63...

I have a verse of this Psalm (8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.) as part of my personal email signature as an explanation to its' name ("be_clingy"). People usually think of the adjective of "clingy" in a negative light. You know what I mean: "He/she is just too clingy!", as in, won't leave me alone, smothering, needy, etc. Now, I have been accused of that exact attribute at times in my life (sorry, ladies...), but when it comes to my email, I am speaking of clinging to something else...God himself. His Truth. His Promises. His perfect Plan.

Well, right now I am choosing to cling. I even went so far to post Psalm 63 on the inside of the door in my office so I can't ignore it!

You see, I think the past 3 or 4 months in my life have been one of great personal/spiritual growth (and yes, I believe those go hand-in-hand). I have re-discovered a passion for studying scripture not just for my job. I have prayed for (and seen answers) many attitudes in my life to become more Christlike. Things like being less selfish. Like a better understanding of Ephesians 5:25 as it pertains to who I am as a husband. A renewed passion to be the shepherd called at this time to the teens and their families at our church, and to help encourage their discipleship. A confidence and boldness that has sadly been lacking for much of my life as it pertains to my role as a spiritual leader. A complete, utter reliance on Christ to sustain me, to satisfy my desires, to remove the immature, sinful desires that so easily drive me...

But one thing I've noticed in this time has been that while I ABSOLUTELY can see the fruit, the answered prayer, and the growth during this time...well...the Enemy don't like it. I am as perplexed as any as to the true nature of Satan, but you know what? Jesus sure talks alot about Satan, Hell, demons, etc., so even though I struggle to explain it, sometimes even to believe it (which I should believe...too many personal examples I've seen...), I have to acknowledge it. Now, I don't know if I attribute every last "bad thing" happening to someone as directly correlated to the Devil (because, well, some stuff is on us...some stuff is just set in motion and "happens"), but I think the negative attitudes, the lack of faith, the temptations that seem to try to bash their way back into my heart...well, yeah, I think that's Satanic stuff. I need to remember several things here, but most importantly that Satan is not God's equal. I think that gets messed up in people sometimes, where they almost treat Satan as one with the same power as God. NO! God is God...Satan most surely is not. Just an angel. Still powerful? Still with lots of "helpers"? Absolutely. But not God. I need to cling to that fact as well...too often I see myself and others just "give in" because "we can't help it". WRONG. God can overcome Satan every time. I just don't think we let him...

So right now, I am clingy.

I am being clingy when everything in me wants to be impatient about some "stuff"...but I seek and choose patience...

I am being clingy when I am at my end and I go fall flat on my face in the chapel and cry out to God (this is called "yesterday about 2 pm")...

I am being clingy when, despite the temptation to be frustrated and unsatisfied with certain things, I keep seeking Truth, remembering Truth, and living my life out of that Truth...

So I choose to be clingy. Oh Lord, help me to cling to you in all things...at all times...amen.

God's Criteria > Our Criteria // Acts 9:1-19

2009-02-16T12:39:00.002-06:00

Saul's Conversion
1Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples. He went to the high priest 2and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. 3As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. 4He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?"
5"Who are you, Lord?" Saul asked.

"I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," he replied. 6"Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do."

7The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. 8Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. 9For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

10In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, "Ananias!"
"Yes, Lord," he answered.

11The Lord told him, "Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. 12In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight."

13"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. 14And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."

15But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. 16I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."

17Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit." 18Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, 19and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

Stuff that stood out:

*** 13"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. 14And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."

15But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name...: While usually this passage is one of conversion (specifically "Saul" to "Paul", once Jesus calls him), this time the banter between Ananais and God is what hit me. Ananais hears the Lord speaking, but it isn't what he would expect. God is calling him to do something that simply doesn't fit into Ananais' criteria. What is hard here is that who would fault Ananais' concerns? I mean, let's look at the criteria for him being a bit concerned with God asking him to go visit Saul/Paul: Saul a known hater of Christ-followers? Check. Saul has the authority to hunt down these followers, so it isn't just him going alone? Check. The early believers are likely hearing stories of being punished, tortured, even killed for their faith? Check. I'm sure the list could go on, but these are good. So, Ananais is kinda making sure God "knows" that what he is asking doesn't make much sense (to Ananais). I can relate. There are times (I'm even wondering if there are some things going on now in my life that would qualify) where God calls us to something, but it doesn't line up with our criteria. Maybe great risk is involved. Maybe it involves something (or...someone...) we just really, REALLY don't like. Maybe it would remove some of that thing we all seek too well: security. Or I suppose it could even involve our life itself. Who knows. I also no that if Ananais would have said no, however...well, would Paul have been the man we know today? I'm sure God could have found another way to have his plan implemented, but what things am I "dilly-dallying" with today, almost bargaining with God, looking only to the criteria I have decided on? I need to look to Ananais' example of trust, confidence, and ultimate faithfulness in following God's plan for him, regardless of the criteria he may have had, or even what others (with "good" intentions, possibly) may have told him if he had sought their counsel.

Questions for me today:

What things in my life, where God may be calling me, am I dragging my feet due to excuses?

If I need to release "my" criteria...what is God's criteria, then?

Getting Out of God's Way...and Then Getting Right Back in the Middle of It // Matthew 16:13-28

2009-02-12T10:18:00.005-06:00

Peter's Confession of Christ
13Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?"
14And they said, "Some say John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; but still others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets."

15He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"

16Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

17And Jesus said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.

18"I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.

19"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven."

20Then He warned the disciples that they should tell no one that He was the Christ.

Jesus Foretells His Death
21From that time Jesus began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day.
22Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, "God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to You."

23But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interests, but man's."

Discipleship Is Costly
24Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.
25"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

26"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

27"For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS.

28"Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom."

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** 17And Jesus said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.: Just yet another example I see of any revelation of God coming from God himself, not by any person "convincing" me of it. Sure, others may be used by God to that end...but it was God doing it. Carry on...

*** 23But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interests, but man's.": I have often been perplexed by this passage over the years. But once I started really looking at it, I saw one thing shining through: Peter, while simply trying to protect his friend and leader, was letting his wants get in the way of what God had planned. I know this desire all too well, and I think Peter even had some noble motives here. There have surely been times in my life where I was seeking "noble things"...but they still weren't what God wanted. They may not have been sinful, or hurting others, but they still flew in the face of what God's will was. Now, Peter likely didn't understand God's design here, and surely in many of the similar times in my life, I didn't either, at least at first. But often we start sensing God's direction...and we wait. Or we complain. Or we just flat-out say "NO!" My prayer needs to be one of having ears to hear where God is leading me...and then the courage and trust to move in that direction. I need to get out of God's way...

*** 24Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.
25"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.:...and then, as I get out of God's way, I need to get right back in it. More specifically, I need to say, "Ok, God...I am surrendering to YOUR plans...so let's go, warts and all..." This, just like getting out of the way, is very tough because the concept of taking up a cross (think Jesus here...sacrifice...pain..."not my will but yours") just doesn't make us go "yay!" very often. And losing life...to find life? Say what, God? Aren't you supposed to make all things better? Make life easier and more fun? Well...no. And sadly, I know many who "became Christians" under the pretense that God would magically fix all bad situations, would heal everyone, and would make life a cake walk. Not so. If that's why I call myself a "Christian"...then I'm not so sure I am. But if I realize (due to the Holy Spirit's revelation to me) that I am naturally against God, and that only through Christ's sacrificial atonement on the Cross am I welcomed into eternity with the Lord, then it should result in my complete humility, allegiance, and surrender to Christ. And that should look like being willing to suffer for my Lord. Being willing to put my wants and desires on the back burner (and maybe even in the trash) for the sake of Jesus. Yeah, that knowledge doesn't make tons of folks (in their own understanding) run to Christ in droves. But, when God shows someone their fallen, anti-God state, lets them realize that they then deserve eternal death...but that through Christ the penalty has been paid, then it should result in a compelling motivation to take up the cross, to "lose" one's life for Christ's sake...

Questions for me today:

What are/have been some things in my life that "weren't bad"...but are/were not what God wants/wanted?

What does "taking up my cross" look like for me? In what ways do I "lose" my life for Jesus' sake?

Do I truly realize that by losing my life (wants, desires, plans), I am in fact gaining life?

The Evidence // Luke 19:1-10

2009-02-11T07:25:00.004-06:00

Zaccheus Converted
1He (A)entered Jericho and was passing through.
2And there was a man called by the name of Zaccheus; he was a chief tax collector and he was rich.

3Zaccheus was trying to see who Jesus was, and was unable because of the crowd, for he was small in stature.

4So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a (B)sycamore tree in order to see Him, for He was about to pass through that way.

5When Jesus came to the place, He looked up and said to him, "Zaccheus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house."

6And he hurried and came down and received Him gladly.

7When they saw it, they all began to grumble, saying, "He has gone to be the guest of a man who is a sinner."

8Zaccheus stopped and said to (C)the Lord, "Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have (D)defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back (E)four times as much."

9And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because he, too, is (F)a son of Abraham.

10"For (G)the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

Cross references:
Luke 19:1 : Luke 18:35
Luke 19:4 : 1 Kin 10:27; 1 Chr 27:28; 2 Chr 1:15; 9:27; Ps 78:47; Is 9:10; Luke 17:6
Luke 19:8 : Luke 7:13
Luke 19:8 : Luke 3:14
Luke 19:8 : Ex 22:1; Lev 6:5; Num 5:7; 2 Sam 12:6
Luke 19:9 : Luke 3:8; 13:16; Rom 4:16; Gal 3:7
Luke 19:10 : Matt 18:11

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** 7When they saw it, they all began to grumble, saying, "He has gone to be the guest of a man who is a sinner.": Our ways are not God's ways. Likewise, our criteria is not (usually) God's criteria. Here is an example of that, and before I start thinking these are horrible, judgemental folks, I have to realize there are many times I approach others the same way. Just last week, I was leading a discussion of junior high students on how the Church is to be different in how we treat each other as friends than any other group out there. Yet, I asked, "Do we?" I'm not sure we do. I know there have been teens that come in our group for the first time who have a reputation at school, and some in our group don't think they are worthy to be there. "What is that guy/girl doing here?", has been muttered to me more than once. While I hope there is gladness at the opportunity to minister to that person...my guess is the real answer is usually more like, "I don't want them here. They are scum." And I don't want to just rip on the kids here...I know I can be that way, too, if not very careful and if I am too quick to forget a passage like this one.

*** 8Zaccheus stopped and said to (C)the Lord, "Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have (D)defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back (E)four times as much."

9And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house...: Is this proclamation how Zaccheus was saved? No. Is it evidence that he has come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Savior? I think so. I know it is a dicey proposition that, if not taken with great care, can delve into judging "who is 'in' and who is 'out'", but what Zacc just proclaimed here is evidence that he has been changed on the inside by Christ. It is "fruit", if you will. And i need to ask myself very often, "Am I bearing any fruit due to my being saved by Jesus? Am I compelled (without much thought) to do selfless acts of love for him? Is there an impact being made for the Lord?" Those are tough to ask oneself at times, because we may not like the answer. The hardest (but maybe one of the most necessary) questions I often ask teens are the ones that may result in some of them realizing they don't truly know Jesus...by asking them to look for fruit in their lives (evidence of a changed heart), to ask if they still let sin/selfishness drive their decisions/attitudes/actions, or asking if there is anything "different" about their core being...but it must be done...

*** 10"For (G)the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost." Myself and surely others often ask, "Why did Jesus come?" There are many reasons, but I think so much of his purpose is summed up in verse 10 here. Not just to be a "nice example". Not to overthrow the Romans (literally). And not just to do some cool supernatural, miraculous stuff "just because". He came to seek out and save. Oh sure, lots of cool things were done by Jesus, but I think the goal was seeking and saving, and those "things" were often a tool to that end. I think we need to pay attention to that. I know my own personal ministry journey has come around to a point where I think "service" and "gospel" need to go hand-in-hand. I'm not sure we need to go out blaring the message of Christ to those with great need without being willing to serve their needs selflessly as well...and on the flip side, I am coming to realize that while serving others is "nice", that the message and motivation of the Gospel needs to permeate that serving. I'm not saying we only serve those IF they will here a "gospel presentation" first...but the truth of Jesus must permeate what we do (and why). I know I've been on many service opportunities through ministries where there is little "broadcast" as to what we represent, but I am starting to think that we need to broadcast Christ better...not necessarily in a preachy way, but in a "this is real to ME and why I am doing this"-way...

Questions for me today:

How do I treat "sinners" in my midst?

Is there evidence of Jesus saving me IN me (and flowing out of me)?

As I represent and minister in the name of Jesus...what "name" of Jesus is what I serve under? Meeting needs? Saving souls? Being nice?

Real vs. Just Lip-Service // 1 John 5

2009-02-07T07:53:00.004-06:00

Faith in the Son of God
1Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. 2This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. 3This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, 4for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 5Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.
6This is the one who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ. He did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth. 7For there are three that testify: 8the[a] Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement. 9We accept man's testimony, but God's testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which he has given about his Son. 10Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart. Anyone who does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about his Son. 11And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.

Concluding Remarks 13I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
16If anyone sees his brother commit a sin that does not lead to death, he should pray and God will give him life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that he should pray about that. 17All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death.

18We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. 19We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. 20We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

21Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

Footnotes:

1 John 5:8 Late manuscripts of the Vulgate testify in heaven: the Father, the Word and the Holy Spirit, and these three are one. 8 And there are three that testify on earth: the (not found in any Greek manuscript before the sixteenth century)

Words, Phrases that Stuck Out:

*** ...everyone who loves the father loves his child as well.; verse 1: I think it's easier to just love some abstract "god" than to let that love go to this Jesus character as well. Asking one to believe that while, yes, there is a God, a creator, a "force" out there that cares and is watching over us is a nice thing that most folks would agree on. But one that is deeply involved with his creation? One that seeks us personally? One that humbled himself enough to have a "son" that was essentially God walking around with us mere mortals? That is tougher. Too, "Huh?" for many, and at times I can't wrap my mind around it, either...but I know it's true.

*** 3This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, 4for everyone born of God overcomes the world.: I think that following God's commands is something that is (or should be) a byproduct of God saving me. Not the "means" to salvation...well, some think that God's Law could be a means...if any human could actually attain it...and we cannot, so it becomes a means to expose our failings, our unworthiness, our fallen souls that are against God. Therefore, seeking God's ways and commands should flow from the believer saved by Christ alone. But outsiders look at these commands as a drag. As "no fun". I used to agree, and sure there are even seasons of my life as a follower of Jesus where I can get a case of the "I don't wanna's". But I think the evidence of Christ's hold of me comes when I realize that God's ways are best, and that when I am surrendered to the Lord, the desire to follow his wishes and actually do his wishes just sort of flows... I know my faith is not just lip-service at this point. Of course, the elephant in the room right now is that I unfortunately think there are tons of folks who would quickly label themselves as Christian when asked, but don't have a desire to follow God's commands. They are seen as a burden, as holding back what they want. So I ask: is that person's faith real? Scary question...but one I need to ask myself honestly if I catch myself looking at God's way and go, "yeah, whatever". Thankfully, God's peace in my heart and my being "unsatisfied" when I can tell I'm not in God's will are some examples of my eternal security in Christ, that I have been saved. But, do you ask those questions? Maybe we should more often...

*** 10Anyone who believes in the Son of God has this testimony in his heart... 11And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.: If I am truly saved by Jesus, then this is the message written on my heart that drives me in ALL things. I have been given a life that never ends through the Cross. And when I remember how I was AGAINST God for so long before, and that he still went through all that on my/our behalf...it humbles me. It breaks me. Still. And it should! I pray that my life is somehow a reflection of that gift of grace...

*** 21Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.: After all that exposition, all the reminding of the Truths we need to realize and live out, it is almost like John said to God, "Ok, Lord...just one more 'nugget'. What do you want me to wrap up this letter with that will really 'drive it home'?" God said, "Hit 'em with idolatry..." Why? Because it is my/our worship and allegiance to things that aren't of God that stunts all of the "above" stuff in this chapter. When I give into my wants, I am not seeking the Lord. When my priority is money, I am not seeking the Lord. When I just want folks to like me, and am willing to do/say anything to get that goal, I am not seeking the Lord. If I seek to let Christ flow through me, I need to be confronted with (and repent from) those things that become "first" in my life. Sometimes it is obvious stuff (like the aforementioned money, or worry, or just wanting to be cool), but I need to ask God to expose the deeper stuff...the less-obvious stuff...the stuff that others may even look at and go, "What's wrong with that?" Stuff like when I make Missy or Jax my "god". Like when I do all I can to avoid others/help others when I just want to sit on my rear and do nothing (when I've already done plenty of that recently). Like when I set something in motion that is what I want to do, and I throw some "God" in front of it to make it sound spiritual...when I'm not even sure if it's what God wants... Yeah, those are the more humbling questions I must be willing to ask and face the music with...

Questions for me today:

What is the evidence in my life that proves that Christ has saved me?

What if I can't find any?

What idols are at play that take priority over Christ in my life? What needs to change?

Doubting (Insert Your Name Here) // John 20:24-31

2009-02-04T09:32:00.004-06:00

Jesus Appears to Thomas
24Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."
26A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 27Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

28Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

29Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

30Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. 31But these are written that you may[a] believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Footnotes:

John 20:31 Some manuscripts may continue to

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."; verse 25: Oh Thomas... How many times have I seen this story and been so disappointed in you? I mean, you WALKED with Jesus in the flesh! Saw the miracles! Heard the teachings and prophecies! What was wrong with you?

Problem is that I have experienced the Lord in many real, tangible ways (maybe not as "real" as Thomas did...but I still was certain of its' reality), knowing that God was present, or speaking to to me, etc., but later on I doubt the reality of it all. I let culture's cynical, over-analytical spirit get to me. I become like Thomas, needing "concrete proof" of all this crazy, mysterious supernatural stuff.

*** 27Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.": Jesus, despite our doubt, offers his reality. I think he still can do this in my current situation, but one think I must realize is that he's shown my a ton of times already. I know the last sentence in verse 27 can look a bit "strong", but I have to be able to look back at the times I knew with certainty that Jesus was who he said he is, that God is real, is speaking, has a plan, etc. Thus, I think Jesus has every right to say it to me. When I waver, doubt all this, etc. (usually due to external circumstances that aren't going my way), I need to remember that night in 1990 when I knew that what Jeff Chandler was preaching about my sin, Christ's sacrifice, and my eternity was true; I need to remember that closing night at camp in 1995 where I heard God clearly telling me to walk up in front of hundreds of people proclaiming he had called me to a life of ministry; I must remember finally having a sense of peace about my "lack of a significant other"...even if it was to be as long as I lived...and then meeting Missy and knowing she was to be my bride (and yes, I think that was a God thing); I need to never forget the night in 2002 when I believe something demonic was going on in my apartment...and how once I prayed for Jesus to "kick it out of here"...everything changed about that situation... Weird stuff, and I know many just haven't had those experiences...but they are signposts to me, proofs to me, "Come put your hand in my side"-moments that I must remember when I waver...

*** 29Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.": I think Jesus is telling me that he realizes how tough it is to "believe" when I physically have not seen Jesus himself...but then again, have I? I mean, when have others in my life "been Jesus"?

Also, I can't help but see this as yet another example that salvation is ALL God's doing in us, not our minds being convinced with the "right" criteria or a math equation. I know that until God showed me the Truth...well, I just simply didn't know.

*** 31But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.: John is talking about the "signs" that were written on our behalf. I didn't live 2,000+ years ago, but that doesn't mean I can't see Christ. In addition to those things I listed above I needed to remember as reminders of Christ, I can always look to scripture. And then scripture, realized and written on my heart, makes it easier to see where Christ is at work in me and around me...you can see the "cycle", huh? This is why the "church answer" of studying scripture for one's own spiritual growth is the RIGHT answer...

Questions for me today:

What is usually the cause of my doubt and wavering faith? Are there some common threads I need to be more aware of?

When I struggle with faith, what things seem to help "bring me back"?

Dead or Alive? // Ephesians 2:1-10

2009-02-03T09:42:00.002-06:00

Made Alive in Christ
1As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Footnotes:

Ephesians 2:3 Or our flesh

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts.: What is "them" here? Our transgressions and sins that every single one of us either has been driven by (or still IS being driven by) in life. As much as I've tended to be viewed as a "good guy" (whatever that means...), I know that before I was captured by Christ, despite my efforts to be "more good than bad" (aka hoping God used a gold star chart), ultimately it was easier to do the dumb, brainless, wrong things than the right thing. And I also know there have been times in my regenerated life after surrendering to Jesus where I was a slave to sin for a time, being driven be desires to "feel good" instead of a reckless abandon for God. The struggle is when we fail to realize this truth, as no matter how much I say I "get" this fact of being a slave to sin in my past life (and annoyingly at times in the current), I still catch myself comparing "up" with others on some sort of naughty list.

*** 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions...: This is just a revolutionary truth that is so foreign to us: that God, despite our deadness to him (due to our transgressions against him all the time), has so much love and mercy on us that he wants us alive again in Christ. Those last two words are the kicker, though, and we seem to miss that. We aren't alive because we follow some philosophy, or due to gritting our teeth trying to be "good". No, we are alive to God due to the payment of sin by Jesus' death on the cross. I need to grasp that more and more each day, and that is my prayer. And by that surrender, I believe that God will continue (because it started in 1990) to change my heart and attitude so that all the "good things" I try in my own power to do (usually with some hopeless notion that God will like me more as a result) will instead flow from me freely and effortlessly as I simply love the Lord more and more and...

*** 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
: Here. It. Is. Our life in God's kingdom is a gift. It is not from what we do. And since it isn't from my own energies and attempts, I have ZERO room for arrogance, or feeling like I am somehow "better" than those not knowing Jesus, or that I am more spiritual than others because I seek to live for Christ. That's tough though. I know I can get frustrated when folks around me aren't "getting it" like I'd like, and I need to just be obedient and faithful (and let God do the rest in others). But I know this realization that it isn't completing some checklist that "gets us to God" (and the relief and gratitude that should result from that) doesn't always produce fruit. Why? I think it's because sometimes we still don't really "get it". We got all emotional and said some prayer somewhere, and think that now we have eternal life with God in our back pocket "just in case" or something. As I've said before, if anything "good" comes out of my life, I pray it is a directresult of my love, gratitude, and obedience to ALL God has done for me. I was created to do good works FOR CHRIST. Oh Lord, flow through me...and let any "good" point directly to YOU.

Questions for me to ponder today:

Do I truly, truly know that before I surrendered to Jesus I was ruled by sin, evil, etc.? What should that realization do to me? If I don't seem to realize that...what evidence do I need to "get there"?

Are my "good works" just for myself, or to "look good" to others? Are they only flowing from my love for God?

Innocent Criminal(s) // Mark 15:1-15

2009-02-02T09:54:00.006-06:00

Jesus Before Pilate
1Very early in the morning, the chief priests, with the elders, the teachers of the law and the whole Sanhedrin, reached a decision. They bound Jesus, led him away and handed him over to Pilate.
2"Are you the king of the Jews?" asked Pilate.
"Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied.

3The chief priests accused him of many things. 4So again Pilate asked him, "Aren't you going to answer? See how many things they are accusing you of."

5But Jesus still made no reply, and Pilate was amazed.

6Now it was the custom at the Feast to release a prisoner whom the people requested. 7A man called Barabbas was in prison with the insurrectionists who had committed murder in the uprising. 8The crowd came up and asked Pilate to do for them what he usually did.

9"Do you want me to release to you the king of the Jews?" asked Pilate, 10knowing it was out of envy that the chief priests had handed Jesus over to him. 11But the chief priests stirred up the crowd to have Pilate release Barabbas instead.

12"What shall I do, then, with the one you call the king of the Jews?" Pilate asked them.

13"Crucify him!" they shouted.

14"Why? What crime has he committed?" asked Pilate.
But they shouted all the louder, "Crucify him!"

15Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.

Things to ponder (really not many "words or phrases" as the whole theme seems to apply here...):

Feeling a bit different today, and there was no real "list" of things, so what hit me was more an overall theme to this morning's reading. The main sentence that stuck out as an overarching theme is found in verse 14, where Pilate asks the crowd, "What crime has he committed?"

It is proof to me that we are naturally a fallen bunch, as in the presence of True Good, what happens? We want it to go away. It's almost like a phrase I once heard uttered (and I've uttered many times since), "Mediocrity in the presence of excellence produces bitterness." Why? Well, I just think of times when I'm coasting through life in some area (and doing just fine, thank you), and when I am in the presence of someone who is an A+ in those areas, instead of being inspired, I often get bitter, or make some snide comment ("Oh, well aren't they special?", said sarcastically of course), etc. I think we often, in the presence of Christ, The Holy One, instead of falling on our faces in humility and brokenness, and then rising up in allegiance to him, doing whatever he wills, we act like the "mob" here in the Gospels that knew Jesus was innocent, but treated him like a criminal. We just can't seem to be in the presence of something this Good...it isn't in our nature. We want to be left alone to do whatever we want. Oh sure, we'll give "wanting what God wants" lip service, but often when faced with it... "Oh...never mind..."

I also see this in myself or others on the "flip side" of the coin. I know that right now, for example, I'm feeling very compelled to speak truth into the teens I serve...I mean, I have always sought that as a goal, but what I mean is to share messages that challenge us, expose that our hearts don't tend to really want God (beyond, "It's a nice concept, and the good, American thing to do I suppose...", and what many folks only seem to be interested in hearing). I am seeking to do this in a loving way, and some kids (and adult leaders, btw) seem to really be willing to take the scriptures we are exploring and ask God to expose poor attitudes, motivations, goals, and priorities...but just as many I can tell are simply not interested. I know one teen (that was not in the discussion group I was leading) was frustrated and asked the leader, "Why is it not 'ok' to just be 'ok'?", specifically in reference to one's faith and relationship to Christ. This teen likely just wants to be left alone, to not be confronted with the fact that their faith is on shaky ground...and I know I've been in that place as well at times. When we let darkness creep into our hearts, being exposed to Light is often what we don't want...

So, in closing, while this is a minuscule, selfish speck compared to how Jesus was treated, I can relate today about how I don't feel like I am doing anything wrong (in fact, I truly feel like I am responding to God's will by teaching this stuff), but how I can tell many are not fired up with me for expressing a message of confession, repentance, and allegiance in ALL THINGS (and I mean everything) to Jesus...no, some just don't want to hear it... So in a small way, I do feel a bit like an "innocent criminal"...but all followers of Jesus MUST press on, as so often the world just doesn't know what to do with the message of Christ...we just need to be obedient to the call!

Father God, keep giving me ears to hear and eyes to see your will...give me courage...and remind me that all that matters is doing what YOU want...no matter what others may think, or whether I am "liked", etc. AMEN!

Ranking the Star Wars Flims

2009-01-30T10:15:00.002-06:00

Ok, so inspired by my Pixar Film Rankings post, I will attempt to rank (from worst to first) the films of the Star Wars Epic...6 to 1...

# 6: Attack of the Clones: It has it's moments (hundreds of Jedi fighting at once in a gladiator-bug arena? Pretty cool...), but for the most part this film is just an excuse to fill 2 1/2 hours between Episodes One and Three. I mean, I'll still watch it (because hey, it's Star Wars), but I'm not sure I've voluntarily watched it by myself since going to see it in the theater. I know it could be said that in many ways Star Wars "steals" form other genres and archetypes (old westerns, World War II dogfight scenes, Kurosawa samurai films, etc.), but AOTC just seems to be blatantly ripping off fairly recent films like "Bladerunner", "The Fifth Element", "Gladiator", etc. All really cool films...but one thing I was hoping for was more originality. And the "anakin" character just bugged me so much in this one... But I am glad the Jar Jar character was WAY scaled down...

# 5: The Phantom Menace: Poor Episode 1...it was destined to disappoint at least some. All-in-all though, I left the theater saying it still "felt" like a Star Wars movie, which is a good thing. Not sure if "Clones" always does... I really dug the Qui Gon Jinn character, the pod races, and even the ending battle/palace infiltration scenes. And above all, Darth Maul. I SO didn't want him to get killed off...and the sabre fight between Maul, Qui Gon, and Obi Wan...amazing. BUT (and there will always be "buts"), Jar Jar...oh, why? Well, I know a bit more "why" now, as George Lucas said he put Jar Jar in there for his kids...and my son really likes Jar Jar. So, I suppose since Star Wars is George's baby, he can do what he wants...

# 4: Revenge of the Sith: There is a BIG gulf between #5 and #4 in this countdown to me. In fact, ROTS seems to capture the magic of the original trilogy (Eps 4-6) than the other "prequels" by far (even if sections of Episode One seem to as well...but just in spurts). I wanted so badly to rank one of the prequels above an original trilogy film...but I just couldn't. That said, ROTS is pretty cool, and may be (along with "The Empire Strikes Back") the Star Wars film with the most, um, juevos. PG-13? Lots of death, including the murder of young Jedi...and Darth Vader's burns...wow. That had to hurt. I also think the Obi Wan character is at his coolest here.

# 3: Return of the Jedi: The special effects here were so amazing (for 1983!) that when Lucas re-issued the original trilogy, this one hardly needed to be touched. The forest battle/Vader-Luke-Emperor fight/Death Star attack at the end are just so fun to watch. The Ewoks...well, not as bad an addition as Jar Jar but I would have rather it been a bunch of Wookiees...

# 2: A New Hope: Ah, the one that started it all. In some ways I actually think ROTJ is better, but I just have to rank this here. I was 4 years old (or 3?) when I saw it with my dad in Pittsburgh, PA, and the rest is history. If you want to see more about how this movie truly changed everything and captured the world at exactly the right time, watch the documentary "Empire of Dreams".

# 1: The Empire Strikes Back: It is interesting that this is # 1, because I'm not even sure if it's the most fun one to watch. But it's the best film of the group. Han Solo becomes one of my favorite characters EVER in this one. Luke is actually kinda cool. And the Colt 45 dude as Lando? Love it. Yoda shows up. We see a glimpse of some of the "mythos" behind the story coming to light. And the Rebels lose (which needed to happen...). All in all, just a great film. I even think non-Star Wars fans could agree to that...

Supreme Leader // Colossians 1:15-23

2009-01-28T09:55:00.002-06:00

The Supremacy of Christ
15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
21Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[a] your evil behavior. 22But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

Footnotes:

Colossians 1:21 Or minds, as shown by

Words, phrases that stuck out:

For today's post, I am going to approach it slightly differently. As I read this, I noticed two main "sections": first is verses 15-20, which discuss Jesus' divine, eternal nature. The second part is verses 21-23, which address the truth of a believer's relationship to Jesus in light of the truths in the first section. So, I'm just going to list all the points that hit me and briefly comment on each main section after...

*** Section One: ...image of the invisible God... ...firstborn over all creation... by him all things were created... in him all things hold together... he is the head of the body, the church... For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things...by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.: Ok, so many things...but these are truths I need to hold on to every second of the day. If I claim to believe in Jesus as my only redeemer and savior, I need to know that he is infinitely more than just some nice guy who lived and had some cool ideas. He is God among us. He created. He has every atom under his command. He is our Supreme Leader. And all things are reconciled, are made new, due to the Cross. This needs to be what drives me!!!!

*** Section Two: Once you were alienated from God and were enemies... ...now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight... ...if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel.: Do I really live in gratitude realizing that I was once God's enemy? I need to...because through Jesus, I am now viewed as holy again in God's sight. But it needs to be real. The last statement there (from verse 23) is a confusing one, as some think that one can lose one's salvation (by not believing anymore), and others say once saved, always saved. Regardless of your "bent", I think this does show us that if our faith is real , we need to allow it to change every fiber of our being...all the time. Standing firm in the midst of the wavering seas of life. That is my prayer for myself today: to stand firm, despite emotion, circumstance, desires...

Questions for me today:

Is Jesus my Supreme Leader? Do I seek Christ in ALL things? What does that look like? What needs to change?

"Getting Up-set, for all the Wrong Reasons..." (sung to the tune of Looking for Love (In all the Wrong Places) as sung by Johnny Lee)

2009-01-27T09:31:00.005-06:00

Ok, so you really don't have to sing...

But I saw first-hand how my selfishness can produce strong emotion when things aren't going my way.

It went something like this: I woke up before the rest of the family as per usual (6:50 am-ish). I got the coffee going, turned on a few lights, turned on my "morning" mix of classical/jazz/ambient music, prayed, and sat down to read my scripture passage for the day. After that (30 min or so later), I turned on the tube to check the weather for a bit (we are in the midst of an Ice Storm Warning), then decide to do my own "25 Random Things About ME" that is floating around Facebook nowadays. About 10 minutes after I begin typing, Jax wakes up. No biggie. I get some of "his shows" on, get his breakfast, inform him that school is cancelled, and proceed to continue typing...

Well, before I knew it, it was like 45 minutes later and I was only on number 15 or so in the list. Jax is starting to (rightfully so) get antsy and wants my attention, grabbing my right arm, etc. I say things like, "If you let my arm go, I'll get done faster", as, of course, I still attempt to type with my left hand. He releases. I proceed to move to the recliner across the room (tougher access for Jax to "get to me") and keep typing.

I finish all 25.

I am pleased.

I cannot wait for all my friends to read all this random stuff about me, hopefully laugh some, maybe be surprised, maybe impressed. You can call me Narcissus now.

My final act before hitting "post" is to "tag" 25 friends who will receive a note about my posting. So, I have 23 picked...and Jax decided to come over, climb on me, and hits inadvertently a couple buttons...

...and my posting disappears into oblivion...

Gone.

And no, I couldn't "save" it, as Facebook does not have that function like, say, this blog has.

I am really upset. Jax gets down. I slam the computer shut. I proceed to let him know that he just made Daddy lose what he had been working on for like an hour.

He looked back at me with the worst face. You know, that face like you just (for no reason) had just taken his favorite bedtime buddies and burned them right in front of his face. Laughing. No, cackling.

He almost started to cry because I had successfully made him feel guilty.

I stomp off, partly in frustration, but as the steps added up, they quickly became to gather my senses. To calm down. And I heard that voice saying, "Make this right, Dad. Do you realize you just punished your son for something as selfish as a FACEBOOK POST???!!!"

So I took a deep breath and calmly went to Jax. I explain to him that I am sorry, and that Daddy can just type it again later if I want to. I do take a bit of time to explain that sometimes Mommy or Daddy do at times need to do important things on the computer, and he needs to let us if the task cannot wait, but that this time, it truly wasn't important.

It was a selfish thing.

I need to remember this. I need to ask myself often if something I "want" or think I deserve are really worth shutting all else (and all others) out... How often we do that! I'm not saying we don't need "me" time, or time to rest, reflect, and recreate...but you see, I had already had that time today...and it was time for me to be with my son...

Lord, help me to seek to be selfLESS, not so dang selfish... Amen.

The Impossible // Luke 1:26-38

2009-01-26T13:40:00.002-06:00

The Birth of Jesus Foretold
26In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, 27to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. 28The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."
29Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. 30But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. 31You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. 32He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."

34"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"

35The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called[a] the Son of God. 36Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. 37For nothing is impossible with God."

38"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.

Footnotes:

Luke 1:35 Or So the child to be born will be called holy,

Words, phrases that stood out:

*** "...his kingdom will never end."; verse 33: I realize this passage has a pseudo-Christmas/Advent feel, but why not address it whenever? I have more thoughts on some other parts of this passage, but for some reason this truth about Christ's kingdom never ending provides me encouragement. Jesus is not only "was" but also "is" and "WILL BE". Awesome...

*** "...the holy one to be born will be called[a] the Son of God."; verse 35: The footnote here tells us that the word holy may be used here again interchangeably with Son of God. Holy, to my understanding, means something like set apart , something so "other", so not us, so high above. This is important as I realize that Jesus was so much more than just some nice teacher with good philosophies, so much more than just a very enlightened man. Jesus is holy. Set apart. Something so other that he can only be deity himself. God himself with human flesh. This is such a curiosity to me and I know to others, and the concept of Jesus being God in the flesh is just so impossible to many. But if Jesus isn't these things...then in my eyes, why bother with it at all? Thankfully the story and proof of his divine nature continues on after this phrase was spoken...

*** "37For nothing is impossible with God.": What a thing to know and remember. Not just this charge to Mary, as she was to be the vessel used by God miraculously to bring the Savior into the world, but for us as we realize the Impossible that God is. And I don't think that is a bad thing to label God as "impossible", because to me it doesn't mean that the existence of God is an impossible thing, but instead that God so often (in scripture and beyond) works in the realm we humans call "impossible!" Impossible is where God shines most...and I need to a) be open to the mysteries of God I cannot explain and cling to them and b) trust and believe that God can accomplish the impossible in my own life. I know too well the times my faith was at a low point because I just couldn't see how God would make something happen...but he did.

*** 38"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said.": What a legacy of faith Mary leaves us with. She has just heard something impossible, and instead of going "yeah, whatever", she pledges to serve the Lord, and is "cool" with whatever is in store. I know that is often my struggle, to sense that God may be telling/showing me something, no matter how "out there", and say, "It's cool, Lord...do what you will and I'll be here!" We so easily bail on God in the name of something not fitting our criteria, or being what we "want", or not fitting into our perfect plans. I know that I, at least, need to continue seeking to have this attitude that Mary exhibits toward God in such a heavy moment...

Questions for me today:

What are the things of God that I still label impossible? What things in my life do I know are true, really did happen, etc., that I can only attribute to God that others may label as impossible?

Keep On Keepin' On // 2 Timothy 1:3-2:13

2009-01-25T10:05:00.001-06:00

Encouragement to Be Faithful
3I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. 4Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. 5I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. 6For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
8So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, 9who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, 10but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. 11And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. 12That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.

13What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. 14Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

15You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes.

16May the Lord show mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, because he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains. 17On the contrary, when he was in Rome, he searched hard for me until he found me. 18May the Lord grant that he will find mercy from the Lord on that day! You know very well in how many ways he helped me in Ephesus.

2 Timothy 2 1You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. 3Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 4No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs—he wants to please his commanding officer. 5Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules. 6The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops. 7Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.

8Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, 9for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God's word is not chained. 10Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

11Here is a trustworthy saying:
If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
12if we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
13if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.

Words, Phrases that Stuck Out:

*** 7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.: I think that this verse is not only an important one for me to remember, but also one I believe God is growing me more into daily. You see, I've always thought "timidity" was one of my traits. Now, I may never (due to my wiring) be a heavy-handed, loud-voiced person on all issues, but I have seen more passion in the things of God (and how it all plays out in our lives) than ever before. But in the midst of that passion, there is (and must be, if you struggle with it) love and self-discipline. Those are big things to realize. God's kids aren't to be timid, but they are to tread with a spirit of great love, and they must have great discernment, as we all know examples from our own lives or the lives of others where "passion for God" and "love/self-discipline" did not go hand-in-hand...and likely the intended message was "stunted" a bit at best... We need to stand our ground, but with love, respect, and wisdom. Hard to do...

*** ...God, 9who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.: Some folks, despite tons of scriptures saying otherwise, seem to not grasp that our salvation and eternal life with Christ has NOTHING to do with how good we are, how much we "try", or how many gold stars vs. frowny faces we have on God's cosmic deeds chart. It is ALL GOD. I can mostly speak about myself: when I came to know Jesus, I was not "convinced" and decided, "Oh, I suppose it would be a good idea for me to believe this, just in case it's real and all..." And, despite my growing up in church and having various (but usually present) models in my parents to Godly living...it's not like it was decreed in my home verbally, or forced on me. Finally, knowing how my mind worked back in 1990 at age 16 (and still often does today), trust me: releasing and truly believing in the message of Christ was not in my nature. Being nice? Sure. Trying to do more good than bad? Yeah. But hearing that while I was a sinner (despite any efforts to be "good" that always ended in failure), God still loved me, came to earth as a baby and LIVED, then died (and beat death) for ME? Not in my nature to just go, "Oh, that sounds good. I'll have that." No. I believe it was God alone who gave me faith, who saved me. NOT ME OR ANYTHING ELSE. And that is why I seek to live graciously, with love, and with purpose...because God loved me first and for some reason, saved me despite the manure I would always pull (and still do sometimes) in my life against his will...

*** ...convinced...; verse 1:12: Convinced. Not wishful thinking. Not, "I guess this all is a good idea..." CONVINCED. Oh, how I pray to live life as one convinced in God's grace, power, might, plans...

*** 10Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory. : I need to endure all things, to keep on keepin' on, because Jesus has saved me for all time. This fact, above all else, must be my guide and motivation. All the "lists of good behaviors and attitudes" should become a byproduct in my life, not a goal, as a result. Not a means to and end, but a result of what God has done.

Questions for Me:

When I am fired up about something I perceive as "of God", am I all fire and zero love and control? What do I need to confess, whom do I need to apologize to, etc., that may have experienced my unbridled fire without being mixed with love and discernment?

Do I live my life like I still think my place in eternity depends on a cosmic behavior chart? Do I treat others like this, as well, taking score as a means to gain my favor?

Am I living as one convinced of God, of Jesus, of the Holy Spirit, of the Lord's promises, purpose, and salvation? If I'm not convinced...why not? What's holding me back? Are there times I feel "convinced", and then other times I'm not so sure? What happened to make those thoughts occur and change?

What keeps you going? Wakes you up in the morning and says, "Alright...LET'S GO!"? If it's not a realization that God has saved, has purpose for me, etc., what is it? What needs to change to get it there?

Seeking Upward Attitudes // Philippians 4:2-9

2009-01-23T10:00:00.004-06:00

Exhortations
2I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. 3Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow,[a] help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Footnotes:

Philippians 4:3 Or loyal Syzygus

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** ...agree with each other in the Lord.; verse 2: What a noble concept! What a difficult concept! But what if my opinion is right? But what if the other person is being a jerk? But what if (insert excuse here)? I honestly don't know what this looks like, what "formula" it should have, but I do think God (through Paul) knows best when challenging believers to make all efforts to be agreeable to each other, to get along, etc., despite some differences we my have at times. I know at times some good friendly debate is fine (and possibly necessary, especially in the name of bringing God's nature to light, but too often it becomes overly judgemental, ugly, and non-loving). I know there are plenty of fellow believers that I've had differences with over the years (whether just different vision, or theology, or even just "personalities that don't mesh"), but I prayerfully seek to be respectful at all times, to not jump the shark in those relationships. I don't need to be everyone's best friend, sending Christmas cards to them or anything...but I need to watch how I view, treat, and speak to (and...the hardest...about )them.

*** 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.: I won't lie: while my persona is often a "gentle" one by default, I struggle with this one. I'm not saying disagree, but what about times for "tough love"? Ultimatums? Somehow in God's Way there must be a way to have gentleness...and strength. Because you see, I tend to be either-or (I've seen some areas of "mix" lately that please me...thanks God!), you know, I am either gentle, merciful, and even timid to a fault, or I am a tyrant, control freak, laying down the law. I think NEITHER is The Way. Somehow it's a mix of both... Maybe I need to read more about Tony Dungy, whom from what I can tell, is proof that a quiet, faithful, honorable, and gentle man can inspire greatness and respect in others...and a reverence for things bigger than oneself...

*** 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.: A bunch of stuff here, but decided to keep it as one "part". Don't be anxious...worrisome...but instead live out of gratitude and HOPE (certainty). And when we live that way, guess what? Peace comes to us...and often we or others don't "get" why, because all the criteria make it seem like we deserve to worry, be anxious, wavering, and even bitter. But I can attest to my own life that when I finally get over mySELF and go to the Lord with a broken, gracious heart, realizing the great blessing he has bestowed on me (that I DON'T deserve...), that for some mysterious reason, a peace, a shalom if you will, comes over me. I am more confident. I am more faithful. I remember God's words and promises easier. It just happens. But I realize that no matter how much I can attempt to speak the above truth to some, due to their hardness of heart, unwillingness to hear God speak (because he is speaking, friends...we just aren't willing to hear too often...), many just go, "Whatever, Ben...", as for whatever reason, the Holy Spirit just hasn't broken through yet. I also seek for Me to be able to remember these truths...when I don't "feel it". I know of many times (like now, thankfully) where I seem more in tune with God, and tell myself that I will never fall back into meh, into wearing the "headphones" I so easily do (aka shutting out what God may be saying)...because when I "come back to God" and remember these truths, I'm like, "Ben, you doofus...why can't you remember God's promises?" But I'm praying I will remember now!

*** ...whatever is true...noble...right...pure...lovely...admirable...excellent...praiseworthy... think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (sections of verse 8, emphasis mine): I am continually discovering that sometimes God's way to change our hearts is through us doing these things. Being motivated to choose to, for example, seek these upward attitudes that are throughout scripture, and how God uses that to change us, bring peace and strength to us, etc. Problem we have is that too often we want God to change us first , and then we will "be these things". As I told the teens at church recently, "I'm discovering that all the 'church answers' are TRUE: praying, reading and really studying scripture, worshipping, serving, and walking alongside fellow believers really does help me be closer to and more like Jesus." But, we want to be changed first, to have "proofs", etc., and then we may change. I know God certainly can (and has to me before) change me in an instant, but some of this needs to be us waking up daily, regardless of our circumstances/feelings/emotions/desires, and saying, "Alright Lord...show me the way."

Questions for me:

Are there some folks I need to be more gentle with? How am I doing as far as making attempts to at least be "agreeable" to all believers, regardless of what our differences may be?

Where are areas where I can see God's peace in my heart resulting from my gracious love for him?

Is my attitude seeking "up"? Am I proactively doing this, or waiting for God to just smack me around every time to produce this?

Living Like God Uses a Gold Star Chart

2009-01-22T09:35:00.003-06:00

I often, when speaking with others about things like God's grace, love, etc., like to inform people that God does not use those charts on us like elementary teachers do. I'm actually not sure they still do, but when I was a young kiddo in the 80s, I know that many teachers had "star charts", where one could get a star (or even a "level" of star...like red is ok, gold is great, etc.) based on how much good vs. bad behavior existed in you that day at school. Well, despite some of the good uses of charts like this as tools for us, I think we've messed up and started using them (in our own evaluation of life with God) as a means to an end...and scripture clearly tells us that while there may be behavior/attitude lists throughout scripture for us to pay great attention to, those aren't the means to a goal...

Ephesians 2:8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God...

That's one of the "biggie" verses used to help us realize that our salvation has nothing to do with us gritting our teeth and trying to be good, following a list, and thus getting enough "gold stars vs. no stars", ending up on the "plus" side, and earning our way to Heaven. Nope. All God. All grace. All faith...which is tough for us because we want something tangible, measurable...but God just isn't that way. This actually comforts me...but I know many struggle with it.

So, why am I deciding to actually write on this issue?

Well, the other day while on a "girls" weekend with her mom, my wife Missy bought a pretty cool "responsibilities chart" for us to use alongside Jackson, our 4 1/2 year-old. Essentially, it has magnets with various home chores, jobs, and even attitudes we can place on the board, and for each day Jax completes them, he gets to put a smiley face magnet.

But after pondering some deeper issues regarding this new chart, I realized something: If we are not very careful and proactive here, we could instill a life-focus that is not how God works in Jax...the gold star chart-view of God and us that I've been warning against.

So after some prayerful pondering (helped by the timely chapters I read this morning in an EXCELLENT book for parents, "Raising Adults" by Jim Hancock), I decided that we will need to be very proactive in teaching (and modeling...which will be harder) Jax that this new chart is a tool for him to see how he's been doing...but that if he doesn't get the smiley face, our love for him does not change. I do this because I firmly believe that the main priority for us as parents is to show (usually by modeling attitudes and actions) our son glimpses of God's love and character, and he needs to know that God does not use a chart like this when viewing him. Oh, I know some will say, "But what about the Ten Commandments and the rest of God's Law?" Well, I think that God does use those laws to show us our ineptitude without him more than say, "Well, Ben, you know, you ended life with a plus-minus rating of 5, doing 5 more good things than bad...so I guess you belong with me..." That is rough for us because the vast majority view God that way...and miss the point. We do not want Jax to miss the point.

So, as he sat in his corner of the sectional munching on cereal and watching some cartoon, I paused the TV and told him, "Hey Jax, you know that chart yesterday? The one where we picked 3 goals for you this week and you got one smiley yesterday? I want you to know something: While it is good for you to look at this chart and see what needs to be done, you must know that mom and dad love you the same whether you get 3 smileys or zero. It's good to do these things and use them as a checklist, but we love you no matter what." I said that because I think God looks at us that way when we release ourselves to him and trust in Jesus' redemption of our souls. He says, "You are mine...and while you may fail...I still love you. But remember these guidelines and challenges, as they are what's best, and I hope you choose to live them not out of some point system, but out of gratitude for how I've blessed you."

Oh, how I pray to live that way, model that, etc.! The lists of do's and do-not's are for a reason...and we do need to pay attention and pray for God to keep making us more like Christ (as he promises to do! Encouraging!). But, they should flow out of us from gratitude, not because we are trying to get a better score on the test...

Wow...Simply the Best Commentary on the Purpose of Marriage I've Ever Heard...

2009-01-21T13:35:00.002-06:00

Click here if you dare...

I know the thoughts given forth by this pastor I'm familiar with will not be agreed upon by everyone...but they are the closest to what I believe God's true view of marriage is, and as I listened while exercising today, I was like "YES!" But not without some fear for what is to come...you see, this is the start of a series on marriage, singleness, sex, and divorce, all topics that stir up emotions in so many of us, often because we've had the wrong idea of the purposes of each as we walk our own lives. But, if you are moved like me, I guess the challenge is to go back to this site weekly and listen to the following messages with a prayerful heart, being willing to let God break us if need be...and being willing is the hard part, as I'm sure there will be some, "Now wait just a minute, mister!"-moments as the pastor shares what scripture says on these issues...but I believe we will only have those emotions if they are hitting too close to home...and thus, it is EXACTLY why we need to hear them, especially if you claim to be a follower of One whom is above all things...so enter into this with an open, willing spirit to let God speak...even if it's hard...

Things I heard that made my heart both break (in a good, repentful way) and at the same time go "YES! PREACH IT!":

*** That God has an infinitely high view of marriage...and the word infinite is used deliberately. Like, we can't even fathom God's high view of the marriage covenant.

*** That God's high view of the marriage covenant should scare some folks out of marriage...or at least make them take a long pause and check their own hearts, views, motivations, etc., before entering into such a covenant.

*** That Jesus himself says that singleness is almost a preferred thing, because we have gotten off track so much when it comes to the true purpose of marriage...so singleness is NOT a bad thing, or something where you are only "half a person". In some ways, you may have things easier haha, and Jesus himself agrees!

*** That God created marriage...NOT us...we have made it about us, using our rules, etc...no bueno!

*** That marriage is much more than something that is "just a step above serious dating", or that it's totally fine to bolt a marriage just because things are "weird"...etc. We've made marriage about meeting personal needs, and that is not the way God views it. It is for His glory, to show the world a glimpse of who God is by a man and woman entering into a covenant that we are told to never let man break... So, in my view, the pursuit of another to "complete" you is wrong...no person can complete you, only Christ can. But so many seem to be on this quest of "completion" using relationships as a means...sorry, they will always fail you!

*** That marriage is a temporary thing. We don't like that. But scripture (from the mouth of Jesus!) is clear: once a member of a marriage is no longer on Earth...the marriage is over. That hurts. We like the idea of "meeting up again" with our life-long loves in heaven...but it isn't like that, and if our motivation to be a part of Eternity is to mainly hook up with old spouses, or even family, etc., well, then I think one's priorities and view of God may need to be re-evaluated...sorry...I know that sounds mean... But, to relate it to a conversation my wife and I just had last night, in regards to (morbid, I know) things like burial or cremation, caskets, etc., at our own deaths, I told her, "Honey, I love you, and I'm sorry, but there is no need to spend lots of money on some lavish casket, or even burial, for me, as frankly, what I believe with certainty is that I'm not gonna give a crap at that point"...because I will be singing with the angels! But our selfish hearts struggle with that. We want some semblance of control, of "familiarity", and the stuff of Heaven is so "other"...that sadly the "other" is what often keeps our true allegiance and motivations toward the Lord at a stunted pace... And we treat marriage as an eternal thing just like this...when it isn't.

The Pixar Films, Ranked by ME

2009-01-20T13:34:00.002-06:00

So I feel like a "random, pointless post" as many lately (and this isn't a bad thing) are more serious... At any rate, here is my personal ranking of the Pixar films to date, with some commentary. I will post in reverse order, and you must know that I even think the least favorite on this list is not a worthless movie...

#9: A Bug's Life: Most of these films are pretty bunched together, and it was hard to truly rank. I do think, however, # 9 and later # 1 stand apart the most to me. I don't hate this movie...but it just didn't capture me like the rest did. Story was just ok, characters ok, humor ok, etc. Just ok. Not a bad movie...but not the best.

#8: Cars: This film has a bit of it all. Some cool animation (especially with all the motion involved in the race scenes). GREAT for little boys (was my son's first trip to the theater, and he loved it). Some good humor by Larry the Cable Guy (and I don't tend to be fired up by him...but he was perfect for "Mater"). But still...kinda dragging...kinda "meh" in parts. But still definitely better than last place.

#7: Toy Story: Here is where things REALLY start to bunch up. I mean, seriously, between #2 and #7 I can think of reasons each should be higher ranked. And you must know, when I saw this film back in college, I was floored. It was such a fun concept. If anything, my biggest gripe is that the film was too short. I wanted more. Thankfully, a few years later, I got my wish.

#6: WALL-E: One the few times I've been riveted for like 45 minutes...and hardly a word of true dialogue was spoken. Just such great imagery, emotion, physical comedy, and even romance and love. It was a bit heavy-handed message-wise ("we are too lazy and fat"... I tend to agree, but I guess I like my messages in Pixar films a bit more subdued...), yet it was a great story. I almost cried a few times for poor WALL-E...he never gave up, always did his job...and was, well, "sweet" in a way that moved me. Oh, sappy me!

#5: Finding Nemo: My main gripe on "Nemo" is the opposite of "Toy Story": in this case, a bit too long. But, whatever you think of Ellen DeGeneres, she was PERFECT as "Dory". The ocean imagery was spectacular. But most of all, I was (and am) moved by Marlin's chase to find his son, Nemo. I would go through the fire myself to find Jax in similar circumstances...and I am also reminded (and comforted) that God chases us wayward kids the same way!

#4: Ratatouille: Despite it not having some obvious reasons to have amazing animation (cars racing, or space, or the oceans, etc.), this film may have been the most detailed animation-wise of all. Plus, just a cool, original story. A rat that likes to cook? Weird...but it worked. Plus, it was the first film (I think) that a friend of ours got to work on.

#3: Toy Story 2: Despite the original's #7 ranking on this list, I truly thought it was an amazing film. But "2" was one of those rare times where the sequel actually was BETTER than the already amazing original. Oh, sure, there have been plenty of "decent" films followed by much better sequels, but not many, to me, were amazing first chapters that were followed by even more amazing sequels. A longer film, better characters, better "quest"...and the dialogue between Buzz Lightyear and Zurg was just priceless. I hear a "3" is being worked on...THE PRESSURE IS ON, PIXAR!

#2: Monsters, Inc.: When I want to laugh, I know I can count on Sully and Mike Wazowski. And I thought this concept was so great, the "monster world". Amazing characters...and to this day, my wife and I use "Boo" as a term of endearment to our son (I know...Boo was a girl...).

#1: The Incredibles: While all the above films are mostly amazing, at worst still decent and watchable..."The Incredibles" is the one film that, to me, ROCKED. Transcended the animation genre. Would have been a cool "real movie". All that. And Edna Mode...oh, just one of my favorite characters ever. "My God, you've gotten fat..." I loved the "60s spy movie/futuristic" mix-feel of everything. In short, a home run. No, a grand slam. I really, really hope Pixar ponders sequels...or, at least, some sort of TV series... Oh, and my son is TOTALLY "Dash" :-).

Struggling...but Not Falling... // Genesis 32:22-32

2009-01-19T08:14:00.002-06:00

Jacob Wrestles With God 22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."
But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
27 The man asked him, "What is your name?"
"Jacob," he answered.

28 Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, [a] because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."

29 Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."
But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there.

30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, [b] saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."

31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, [c] and he was limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon.

Footnotes:

Genesis 32:28 Israel means he struggles with God .
Genesis 32:30 Peniel means face of God .
Genesis 32:31 Hebrew Penuel , a variant of Peniel

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** "...you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."; verse 28 (italics mine): In this story, Jacob (with a history of struggling to trust God and having "iffy" dealings with his fellow man) sends his family away and has this encounter with a "man" (later revealed to be the Lord himself). Well, "Jake" makes it through, and God tells him the above statement. I think this is a challenge for me to seek today as well. I tend to think of myself as one who overcomes, who is not prone to worry, etc., but I'd be lying if I said that's always true. But to hear God himself tell you that while, yes, you have had struggles, that, yes, you have made it through them...well, that would be an amazing thing to hear/realize.

The other issue that hits me here is the concept of struggling with God...and God doesn't slam Jake for it. I know that I will have struggles with various "personalities" in this life (even other Christians!), with a goal of making it through...but I often struggle to admit that I wrestle with God, too, probably out of fear. I don't want God to know that I struggle with his plans, his ways, his challenges, even (in a weird way at times) his grace and love. But I often do. By God hiving Jake a figurative "high five" for coming through his very tangible struggle with God, well, that gives me great hope in my struggles. I am God's, and while we wrassle at times...instead of slamming me and threatening me with punishment...he gives me a "good game pat"? Well, when I come up on the flip-side still seeking God...I suppose so!

*** "...I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared."; verse 30: Well, after writing on the first section that "hit me", this one just seems like a continuation/reiteration. We wrestle, we see God, etc., and yet we make it through. Maybe I need to think of all the times I was unsure, wavering, things like that, and realize the God met me in those places...and got me through alive!

Questions for me:

Where am I wrestling with God right now? What questions do I have? Where am I confused? Angry?

When are some time in my life I can look back on where I struggled with God...and came out ok (or even stronger)? Do I let those times encourage me...even if they were "long ago" and I'm having trouble right now?

Who a Neighbor REALLY is…or Should be to a Follower of Christ...

2009-01-18T10:00:00.000-06:00

Sunday School Lesson, 1 18 09

Last week, we discussed the problem that we often (if not always) don’t really want God. Oh sure, we think we do, or we “sorta” want him…but many times, it isn’t evident. And we looked at Genesis 3 and how our “not wanting God” can play out in our lives.

Today we are going to start saying, “Ok, so I know I may not want God…what now?” And, “Why”? Well, here it is in a nutshell: As Romans 23 shows us, all have sinned. All have not wanted God. And we will continue to live in that place…until we realize (and not just “for the test”…) that Jesus a) was God among us b) lived a perfect life c) was killed on the cross as a ransom to pay for Sin (as in, capital “S”) d) was resurrected and lives on, and e) we need to, as a result, be completely broken (when we realize the gravity of all this) and make Jesus King of our lives…living as he did, seeking as he did, etc. But, as we will see, truly following Jesus is often not what we expect…or want…

Let’s look briefly (because I really want us to be able to breakout into Jr/Sr Hi groups to discuss today…) at a dialogue most of us are familiar with…but may mean more today than ever…

Luke 10:25-37: 25On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
26"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"
27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
28"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
30In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
37The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."
Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

Let’s start with this “law expert”. He “knew” what the law was; certainly of the nation, very possibly (due to the culture) God’s Law, too. Look at what he asks: “So, Jesus…what do I need to do for eternal life?” Hmmm…sounds like “What’s on the test?”, doesn’t it? Jesus throws it back on him, and then the law-guy answers some nice “book answers”. But, law-guy wanted more…and, honestly, I think he was looking for loopholes…sound a bit like us? I know I can be guilty of looking for what I can “get away with” when it comes to being a Christian…but that is the wrong way to approach this. Of course, Legalism (strict following of rules as the goal, NOT following Christ vibrantly and thus letting our life reflect that…) isn’t the answer, either. So, what is it? Jesus tells him…and let’s just say I’m not sure it’s what the law-guy expected…or wanted to hear…

Well, you heard the story. As often is the case (and a reminder that God’s ways aren’t “our ways”), the unexpected happened. Those who one might assume would be “religious” enough…walked right on by. But the one hated by the one left for dead (as Jews did NOT like, or even associate with, Samaritans) is who stepped up. And THAT is who are neighbor is. Not just our friends, or family, or “folks who look/act/believe just like I do”. Nope. Even people or groups you kinda wish didn’t even exist… And that is why following Jesus (if we really want to) isn’t necessarily easy or pretty…but oh, the amazing impact on others if we do!!!

Questions to Ponder, Discuss, etc.
• Think of a time (it doesn’t’ have to be spiritual) where all you were interested was, “what was on the test”… What was it?
• What are areas of life where we seem to look for “loopholes” when it comes to faith?
• What is at the root of us looking for loopholes? (like, why do we do that?)
• Re-summarize the story of the Good Samaritan… What do you think of the priest and the Levite? What do you think of the Samaritan?
• What are groups that, if a member showed you kindness like the Samaritan did, you would be shocked? Would you let them help?
• So, who is our neighbor again?

PRAYER: Spend some time praying about how we treat “neighbors”…for brokenness…for courage…for purpose…

Squandering Our Birthright // Genesis 25: 19-34

2009-01-15T14:33:00.002-06:00

Jacob and Esau
19 This is the account of Abraham's son Isaac.
Abraham became the father of Isaac, 20 and Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Paddan Aram [a] and sister of Laban the Aramean.
21 Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. 22 The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, "Why is this happening to me?" So she went to inquire of the LORD.

23 The LORD said to her,
"Two nations are in your womb,
and two peoples from within you will be separated;
one people will be stronger than the other,
and the older will serve the younger."

24 When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. 25 The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. [b] 26 After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau's heel; so he was named Jacob. [c] Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them.

27 The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among the tents. 28 Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

29 Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. 30 He said to Jacob, "Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!" (That is why he was also called Edom. [d] )

31 Jacob replied, "First sell me your birthright."

32 "Look, I am about to die," Esau said. "What good is the birthright to me?"

33 But Jacob said, "Swear to me first." So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.

34 Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left.
So Esau despised his birthright.

Footnotes:

Genesis 25:20 That is, Northwest Mesopotamia
Genesis 25:25 Esau may mean hairy ; he was also called Edom, which means red.
Genesis 25:26 Jacob means he grasps the heel (figuratively, he deceives ).
Genesis 25:30 Edom means red .

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** Mainly, the various uses of "birthright" (specifically, verses 31, 32, and 34): Here is a definition of "birthright" I found on dictionary.com: Birth"right`\, n. Any right, privilege, or possession to which a person is entitled by birth, such as an estate descendible by law to an heir, or civil liberty under a free constitution; esp. the rights or inheritance of the first born.

Lest there be any . . . profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. --Heb. xii. 16.

Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

Interesting that this dictionary chose the example from Genesis to show the usage, huh? Anyway, as I read this morning, all I wanted to do was learn more about this concept of birthright. And, more specifically, why it is such a big deal that Jacob was manipulating things surrounding Esau's birthright (so Jacob could have it instead), and why Esau was so willing to give it away... And, what is the spiritual implication? Do I have a birthright? Do I want a birthright? If I have/had one, what would cause me to give it away so freely? Ultimately, I don't really know...but I have a feeling that our birthright is as God's children...and how easily we squander it away. How we will just ditch Jesus for the promise of one minute of fun. Stuff like that... I really don't have anything else to add but this question: What does "birthright" mean to you in reference to our life with Christ?

How We Speak to- and Treat Each Other... // Ephesians 4:17-32

2009-01-14T11:43:00.002-06:00

200th post, by the way...wow.

Living as Children of Light
17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
20You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. 21Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin"[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Footnotes:

Ephesians 4:26 Psalm 4:4

Words, phrases that stuck out to me:

*** ...due to the hardening of their hearts.; verse 18: I often wonder, "How did _____ become so bitter? So angry? So uncaring? So 'meh'?" Paul lets us know that those who may be identified with these adjectives (and at times, myself), it's our heart, our soul, that has been hardened. Some areas of scripture say that God, at times, "allows" for the hardening of our hearts to get a point across (not sure that he "makes" our hearts hard, though...there is a difference, to me, between "makes" and "allows"...). But, regardless, the hardening of our hearts is on us. Now, I know that sometimes it's unfair to blame ourselves when certain life circumstances out of our control have led to the hardening of our heart and soul (or, at least make it WAY easier to occur), things like abandonment, abuse, illness, etc. But, ultimately, I do think God is shining through, wanting above all else for us to see and know him...and allow God to carry our burdens. But, we "drink the Kool-Aid" of culture, or of what others beat into our heads, etc., and run. And after running awhile...our hearts go places only God himself has the power to raise them from...

*** 26"In your anger do not sin"[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. : This phrase, "don't let the sun go down while you are still angry," is one often told to newlyweds, etc., and I really do think it is a good credo to live by. But, this passage takes it deeper, giving us warning. While anger isn't sin in itself...it can delve into sin. How? When hate, malice, and an essential hope for someone's lack-of-well being to occur...yeah, bad. And unfortunately, I think 95% (my unscientific research, haha) of anger delves into the "Sin" world. But anger, when unchecked (or for non-noble reasons), can allow for Satan (yes, I said Satan) to gain further access to your heart. We all know folks who just seem to "live" in a state of anger, even if it's just simmering below the surface. And, I think at some point, they lost guard of their hearts and allowed evil to grab on...

*** 29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. : I think this may be one of the hardest things for Christians to truly grasp. Whether it's framed as sarcasm, or just "being funny", or messing with friends, or "harmless" gossip, or even just being a complete jerk, we are ALL so bad at controlling what we say. I know I've struggled with this at times in my life. I can also honestly say that an evidence of God's work in my life (and how prayer- and trust- can truly change one's heart and attitude...) is how I try to approach what I "say". My prayer is to edify, to encourage, to lift up, and be positive. Oh sure, I fail. But compared to say, oh, 1995 when I could have cared less about my speech, thing have changed mightily... And as scripture says elsewhere, "What comes out of our moths is a window to our Soul" (my paraphrase)...and if we catch UGLY coming out of us...we need to start seeking God and asking, "Ok...what is not right with my heart..." Tough to do...

Questions for me today:

How is my heart? What evidence in how I speak, what I "want to do", how I am treating others, etc., can I look at to see the status of my heart today?

What "ugly" needs to be dealt with?

Am I humble enough to be broken and admit my heart has become a hard, dark place?

What do I need to confess to God (and...others?) so the process of coming "out of the pit" can begin?

Sharing Life // Acts 2:42-47

2009-01-13T10:18:00.004-06:00

The Fellowship of the Believers 42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** 42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. : I think one area many "old school Christians" have forgotten about as a vital element of one's faith walk is the concept of sharing life with other believers. But what does that mean? Just going to the church building a couple times a week? Living together in some sort-of commune? I think there is no truly "right answer", but my guess is somewhere in between...but certainly more than just showing up at church for a service, Bible study, or fellowship time. I also don't think that there is anything really wrong with communal living...but wonder if that is the answer for everyone, either. However, I do think most of us (my family included) miss the boat as far as how much we share life with each other. I think we've become WAY too individualized in our culture. We want to be left alone more often than not. Now, don't read me wrong: I am a FIRM believer in the value of solitude, of just getting away and unplugging. BUT, I think we need to have more open doors to those around us. More truly spiritual conversation. And...well, I'll leave the next thought until after the next verse that stuck out, which is...

*** 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. : So, is this communal living? I suppose it could be, but I don't think it has to be. But it is pretty evident that the biblical way to view possessions is not "mine" as much as it is "ours". I certainly think buying things for our own enjoyment is fine (as long as it's tempered), but that we need to be careful of how possessive we are, especially if the free sharing of our "stuff" can be used to bless those who need it more than ourselves... I know that some folks will scream "SOCIALIST!" when they read that, and as I've said before, I think forced Socialism is wrong wrong wrong...(so don't label me Socialist politically. I am not. Thank you. Carry on...) But I wonder more and more if following Jesus means to choose to have a personal life that leans that way a bit (as in, the sharing of what we "have", freely, no strings attached, etc.). I know that's risky, and that goes COMPLETELY against our culture's sense of entitlement problem, thinking we deserve possessions, happiness, etc. Just a thought...and no, I'm not sure exactly what that looks like in my own family's life , either...but I am praying about what it means...

Questions for me to ponder:

What would a more involved "fellowship with other believers" look like in my own life? Go to church stuff more (even when I'd rather _______)? Plan more gatherings at my house? Proactively seek out other believers to "do life" with? _______________?

What made the early church so appealing to "outsiders"? What makes the modern (for the most part) un-appealing to outsiders? What can be done to change that?

How possessive of "my stuff" am I? Am I willing to truly share, no stings attached, if it's for God's glory?

What does "having everything in common" REALLY look like?

We Don't Want God...

2009-01-11T10:00:00.004-06:00

This is a "bloggified" version of the message I taught this week in Youth Sunday School... We, as a group, have decided that a mediocre, "ok with a 'B'"-faith/life just isn't good enough...so we are taking the chains off and plunging headfirst into some hard truths/scriptures/challenges...won't you join us?

The gospel of Jesus is hard. Messy. Dirty. It’s this amazing paradox of being freely given…yet demands everything from us. For most of us, when it comes to following Jesus, it isn’t as much of a “how-to” problem, as a “want-to” problem…we are going to discuss that...

There are several New Testament scriptures that talk about our messed up, fallen, sinful natures. One is Romans 3:23: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

We also struggle with the cause of sin. We struggle to place blame. Sometimes we even blame God (like, “If God is really in control…he must be making me sin.”). WRONG-O. James 1:13 says, When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone.

So what is it?

Well, we need to go back to the beginning of our “want-to” problem: Genesis. Adam and Eve and trees and snakes. And really, I’m not interested if you think it literally happened just like this or if you think God took the first two “non-monkeys” and taught them all this stuff…and they rebelled. No matter: I read this and go, “That is SO me…”

So, I am not going to make us read the whole of Genesis 3 (but you can here if you'd like). Here is the “BIV” (Ben International Version): Adam and Eve knew God in a very real way. They directly experienced his care. He allowed all things, but told them to not mess with a tree that produced fruit, that it would “kill” them. Then a serpent, THE deceiver, the devil, said, “Whatever…you won’t ‘literally’ die…but your horizons will soooo be broadened…” So Eve ate, and then took it to Adam, who was a typical brainless man and said, “Uh, ok.” And then their eyes were opened to all this “enlightened” stuff…and they were scared. Knew they had strayed and disobeyed. And they hid from God. God found them, they made weak excuses, God informed them of the consequences, and made them leave the Garden…but not before showing he still cared for them…

Ok, a few specific points from verses that stood out to me:

1. When God said, “You will die”, I don’t think he only meant that they would physically drop and stop breathing. But, God knew that by “tasting what’s out there” we are involved in stuff ultimately more harmful than not, and thus our souls die.

2. When the serpent essentially said, “Whatever…your eyes will be opened!”, and then Eve sees that it was “desirable for gaining wisdom”, I cannot help but think of times either myself or others I know have rationalized BLATANT sin in the name of “finding myself” or “enlightenment” or “broadening horizons”. I certainly don’t think God wants us to be hermits who do not posses a mind, etc. Jesus proves that is false (just look at his life and actions). BUT, the Word clearly gives us some guidelines, and I think God knows what’s up and what’s best for us. And when we stray…well, more on that in a sec.

3. Notice what Adam and Eve did once they ate? They HID from God. Can you relate? I can. And often, it’s in the form of hiding from others, too. Really. Now, I’m no psychic, so don’t go there and get paranoid thinking I can see all your dirty secrets…but let’s say I usually can “tell” when not-all-is-right soul/wise with some of you. It may be you suddenly, without reason, stop coming to church-stuff. Or you still are here…but kinda “hide”, avoid eye-contact, conversation, etc. Or, you do talk, but it is quite harsh, not edifying, etc. That’s how we hide from God, I think. We avoid being “faced” with the Truth…

4. We do a good job at “passing the buck” like Adam and Eve did, when confronted with our lack-of-want-of-God. Eve blames being “tricked”, and Adam blames Eve. “Not my fault”. Well…yeah, it is. It always is. Maybe some things get set in motion that are “less” your fault at that time…but ultimately, the choices made that got you there…yeah, your fault. We can’t blame TV, or friends, or music, movies, Internet…

5. There are consequences (Women: pains in childbirth, desiring husband, etc.; Men: have to work the ground to “get” from it). Even when we realize where we are wrong…doesn’t mean all the “stuff” goes away.

6. But finally, even in the midst of this realization that we don’t want God…that we want to do what WE want…and to thus be left alone…God’s care and love still shines through. Look at verse 21 of Genesis 3: The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. God had every right to not only kick them out of Eden, but to never care again. But nope. He made them clothes… While the realization of their nakedness was the first evidence that they had “seen too much”, and God surely grieved…he clothed them…

So there we have it. When left to our own power and devices, our “default” if you will, we don’t want God. And as we continue this quest to crawl out of the muck of a mediocre faith, we must be confronted with this as it relates to us individually.

Don't Blame God for Our Problem // James 1:2-18

2009-01-10T09:52:00.005-06:00

Trials and Temptations
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
9The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. 10But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. 11For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.

12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

16Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Words/Phrases that stuck out:

*** 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.: We often hear that is is ok (and even "good", in doses) to doubt. And in some ways, I don't disagree. But, the danger of letting doubt fester without any attempts to seek God in the doubt is where we are foolish. To me, these two verses are part of a "cycle" of sorts. Doubt? Seek wisdom. But, then don't doubt, because then you may not truly receive the wisdom you seek (and need). Once again, this passage reminds us that faith, hope, etc., MUST be more than just the "wishful thinking" it seems to be so often. It needs to be certainty. Expectation. TRUST.

*** 13When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;: Oh, how often many of us "blame" God for our temptations, struggles, and sin in the name of, "Well, God is in control...right? Then it must be his fault, right?" This passage says emphatically, NO.

*** ...after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.; verse 15: The problem with sin isn't God. It is us. It is the desires we have. We want our way, not God's, when it comes to our true nature. And this verse shows a sort of "formula" for how desire leads to sin, and leads to death. Ultimately, physical, but also spiritual death. I know when I let me fleeting, selfish desires take over, almost always they end up in sin, and my soul dies a bit. Only God can regenerate my soul...and that is what I must let Him do!

Questions to ponder:

Do I seek wisdom? Or is it just "lip service"? If I receive wisdom, do I pay attention? Do I allow God to change my heart with this wisdom, or just go, "Oh, that's not what I expected/wanted/like"?

What is the source of my temptations? Do I blame God?

Do I really believe that desire/sin kills my soul?

Ignore What You Feel //2 Timothy 3:10-4:8

2009-01-05T14:05:00.003-06:00

Paul's Charge to Timothy
10You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, 11persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. 12In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 4
1In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 3For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

6For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. 7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Words and phrases that stuck out to me:

*** ...everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted...; verse 3:12: This is something I think all believers need to realize. So many of us (not all) were saved with, for better or worse, a sense that "now everything will be fixed!" Well, sure, that's true, but not from an earthly standpoint. From a spiritual, soul standpoint, YES, but relationships may still be broken, consequences felt, decisions based on faith are ridiculed by others, and debts still out there. Along those lines is the FACT that if one is following Christ with everything they have, not everyone will like it. Some, no matter how much love or good intentions you have guiding you, will still ridicule, despise, and yes, hate you. Now, that shouldn't stop us from following a mighty God who has us in his hand and has great plans for us, but often the realization of persecution can almost "neuter" one's faith if it isn't realized as a cost of being a true Christian...

*** ...continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of...; verse 3:14: To me, this is more than just a "persevere" verse; it is a charge to have faith in what we believe and are convinced of. I think the word "hope" is supposed to mean convinced, but sadly, we have made hope so much less than that. Hope to us, now is this: "I hope that things will get better." That hope does not seem certain. It is a flimsy foundation at best, where we figure it doesn't hurt to think that maybe something good will happen. NO. Godly hope is being convinced, regardless of if we are "feeling it" or not, whether we just lost a debate with someone not believing and now we feel stupid, or even when it all just looks foolish when we use our human criteria to make decisions. How we approach life, the teachings we follow, beliefs we have that we hold as true-of-God, we need to remember the certainty of...even in the midst of our wavering hearts.

*** Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season...; verse 4:2: This, to me, is another, "How you 'feel' ultimately doesn't matter" challenge. I must be ready to share the Word, whether through my voice, or an email, or even just living the Word through my actions, whether I feel "ready" or not. Too often I try to slip out the back door of an opportunity to minister because I just don't feel ready or prepared...but if I truly believe (with, um...certainty?) that the Holy Spirit will intercede for me, then I must trust and go.

Questions for me:

How am I a slave to how I "feel" in relation to my yielding (or not) to God? Am I enough in love with Christ for all he's done to save me and sustain me, that I would do ANYTHING for him, despite persecution?

Things Learned During the Great Unplug of Late 08/Early 09

2009-01-04T15:15:00.004-06:00

Between December 24 and January 3, I did something I rarely accomplish: I basically unplugged. No internet (including facebook), with the exception of twice checking email (and thankfully I didn't have any needing immediate replies). I also, thankfully, had zero phone calls/texts except those dealing with a New Years' Eve party we were attending and needed to correspond over. It was SO FREEING. In fact, the hardest part may have been not blogging! Oh well. On to some random, not-ranked musings from my time:

I have recently replaced listening to music each time I exercise with listening to messages from other churches, most recently from Austin Stone Community Church (www.austinstone.org). I am quite inspired by their message, goals, and mission.

Don't forget to kiss your wife at midnight on New Years' Eve. Ever. Just don't. Trust me.

I think it's funny how some folks just can't unplug (and I noticed it more since I did). I mean, not offensive, just...kinda funny. I was at a party on Dec. 31, and it was a great time! But, at least once I saw over half those attending (and these are folks in their upper-20s through upper-30s) typing away things on their iphones, etc. I guess I'm old fashioned, as I'm the guy who will often "lose" (haha) their cell phone in the car when I'm eating with someone or hanging out... :-) But, I still must be careful not to judge, as I would certainly have huge temptation to surf the web non-stop, update facebooks and twitters, and always be checking my email if I had one of those phones with such capability...

I am a BAD singer, but I must be better than at least some guys, as I beat several folks in the surprisingly fun "SingStar" game.

I really do miss just hanging out with folks. I mean, we have friends were we live now, sure, but not really any we just hang with very often. Every time we get together with the Austin's or Travis' (and the crew that accompanies them), Missy and I just have a ball, and it shows me that I can be quite the social animal when I want to be :-).

Don't forget to kiss your wife at midnight on New Years' Eve. Ever. Just don't. Trust me.

I didn't do my usual "zone out spiritually"-thing like I often do on vacations. I still enjoyed engaging scripture most days, and even finished a GREAT book (Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing to Heaven) while in Arlington post-Christmas.

Jax is a hiking hoss. Really, dang. And only 4 1/2, yet so "directionally inclined". I had so much fun on our nearly daily hikes.

While we didn't really get out much while in Kerrville (like to eat, shop, etc.), I still felt refreshed when I returned. Motivated. All those things. Look out...

Don't forget to kiss your wife at midnight on New Years' Eve. Ever. Just don't. Trust me.

I think it may be physically impossible to actually lose weight over the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays. I held stead most of Deceber in my typical 185ish-land, and I at least thought I was eating a bit less/healthier than normal (with a few exceptions, of course...but often large amounts of food at meals are NOT exceptions this time of year) coupled with nearly daily exercise in Kerrville (not counting hikes) and, oh, doing about 1200 pushups and 1400 crunches over a 7-day period...I still somehow gained like 4 or 5 pounds. Sigh.

Did I mention to not forget kissing the wifey at midnight, Dec. 31? Ok, I guess I will fess up and tell the story: Yes, I forgot all about that tradition. We were watching the ball drop at the Austin's in San Antonio, and since I am old, I was tired by, oh, 10:30 pm. So when midnight hit, I was zoned out, staring at the corner of the table or something. I missed all the couples kissing. I groggily look up at Missy, who gives me (what I thought was, at least) a brief, playful "air kiss". I look at her confused, kinda chuckling. She got mad. "You didn't even kiss me". Oops. I felt SO BAD. I could tell she was hurt, and although some would say, "Oh, big deal...", you all who are married know that some stuff you just don't mess with. And I guess kissing at midnight on New Years Eve is one of those times for us! Sorry Missy! I truly was bummed that I forgot... It's all good now...

2008: Realizations

2008-12-23T08:05:00.002-06:00

These are just some things that come to mind when I ponder the year that is almost past...

I realized more this year than most, I think, that while God can certainly use me, my words, actions, etc., that ultimately I myself cannot change others, make something happen the way "I" want it to, etc. The key words in there being "I", "me", "myself"... It seems like when I've had strong goals and purposes to something or for someone...well, it tends to not turn out like I expect/hope, even if there are some good reasons for those hopes, goals, and purposes. Instead, I've realized more this year than most (or, it at least seems so right now) that when I can look back and see where God has been visibly at work in others through something that involved me in some way (whether it was my idea or even just "me being me"), it was not planned. In some ways, the "thing" that happened didn't even necessarily occur in 2008, it was just realized or expressed to me in 2008. So, while I might have planned certain events at church with high hopes, or had planned conversations (with planned results of change in the other person), or taught lessons that I thought would rock the youth group to it's core...well, often none of that happened. Oh sure, I bet God still did things through it all...but I just didn't always see it using "my criteria". But oh, the cool things I DID see that were unplanned...the kids that were effected by something that weren't the ones I thought would be so moved...the ways things often just "lined up well" when I was getting discouraged and impatient (and why do we seem to conveniently forget those times??? They ALWAYS happen...)...the random conversations and meetings that resulted in some really cool stuff...etc...

I realized this year more than before that being a father is bringing me closer to God. Old stories from scripture that involve fathers (Abraham and Issac...Prodigal Son...etc.) have really hit me like never before and not only show me my love for Jackson, but also God's love for me. And while I certainly think people can be single or child-less and still be as "whole" as anyone else...some experiences in life (like being called "Daddy") can just change everything and shake your faith at the foundations, making it even deeper...if you let it...

I also realized more than ever this year how my love for my wife, Missy, needs to reflect Jesus' love for us, his church. I've had realizations of that in past years, sure, but this year for some reason I really started taking it more to heart, choosing to love her more deeply, and asking God to humble me so I could better love and serve her like Jesus does us... So, what has that meant to me? Well, it means sacrifice, first and foremost. Jesus sacrificed for me. I need to sacrifice "my wants" for Missy. It also means serving her and making choices that are meant to bless her, help her grow, etc., even if they may not make "sense" to everyone. And it means that even if I don't get something back in return, I still do these things. I mean, sure, it would be great if every time I served or sacrificed for Missy's sake, that I got all kinds of attention, return sacrifice, etc., and usually she does, but my attitude and action need not depend on what she does or doesn't do. That's the biggie. My wife sometimes has struggles health-wise for example, or handles things differently than I due to our personality make-up and upbringing, and sometimes I know that results in lack-of-understanding form others...but I will serve and sacrifice for her nonetheless. Or, at least that's the hope and prayer, as I'm certainly NOT perfect in it. Why be that way? Ask yourself: how many times am I selfish, want "my" way, feel entitled to stuff, or just flat out SIN...and Jesus is still there? Answer: ALWAYS. No matter what. I need the same attitude, and in 2008, for some reason, I've felt compelled to be more proactive about it...

I realized that pizza is still good. After 34 years, nothing has changed there :-)

I also realized (to stay on food) that one's "taste" actually does change with age. Or maybe it's just me realizing the need to try and eat somewhat healthier...or just broaden horizons...haha. Whatever. All I know is that if you would have told me 10 years ago that I would not only choose to eat, but ENJOY things like spinach, green beans, peas, and even normal faves of mine that just have more of a "veggie" presence (like soups, for example...I actually am known to eat a minestrone soup and EAT IT ALL...that was unheard of...), I would have called you out as a big fat liar...

I realized that another example that I am getting old is that I have quit listening (at least as much as I used to) "new music", or specifically, music from newer artists. Oh sure, I'll gobble up the newest Coldplay or grab the new Robert Plant/Allison Krauss or look expectantly to the new U2 cd coming out in March 2009 (woohoo!), but those are just older artists' "new work". I am officially THAT GUY who tries desperately to listen to the radio occasionally (usually the "modern rock station") hoping to find something of worth...and come away sighing, "Oh wow, all of this STINKS." You know, teens will proclaim how "Band X is the best, most talented, EVER!!!!!", and when I listen, I'm like, "You must be joking...all they do is sound like 593 other bands out there, trying to sound moody, or edgy, or shocking, etc..." Sad thing is that I was just like them...haha. I am getting old...

I realized that there are few things in life that can give me joy like watching my son have the time of his life. I mean, seriously, I could just be sitting in a chair observing, and if Jax is having a ball, so am I. The example from 2008 was Sea World in August. That may have been the most fun he's ever had (well, our few "snow days" have been up there too...). I always look back at pics from that time, or remember what we did and saw, and just smile...

...captive Israel... aka, us (aka me)

2008-12-21T07:55:00.003-06:00

In the song, "O Come Emmanuel", one of the lines is talking about Emmanuel (aka "God With Us", aka Jesus...), where he is said to, "...ransom captive Israel". That resonates with me right now. Throughout scripture, "Israel" is used to mean more than just a small sliver of land on a map east of the Mediterranean Sea. In the Old Testament, it represents a people, God's people, and beyond that time, I believe it is meant to continue representing God's people.

Why should I pay attention to being compared with "Israel"? Well, I don't know how many times I've read or heard various Old Testament stories about the folks back then, and gone, "Come on, Israel! Why the whining? Why the complaining? You just saw the power of God! I wish I could see it as plain as you did, and there you go, following other 'gods', how stupid! How selfish! How weak! How..."

Me.

See, whether I choose the label Christian, or disciple, or Follower of Jesus... I'm still just like Israel. And God, while allowing some hard times, having to endure his people basically ditching him a myriad times, is always there for them. ALWAYS THERE. He promises redemption. He saves them. And yes, ultimately, he pays a ransom for their captivity. This is also what he does for me. I was captive to sin until age 16, when I realized (not through my own mind being convinced...I truly believe only the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart could save me...) that God loves me enough, even in my captivity and allegiance to everything besides him, to pay a ransom for me through the Cross. And while I have been ransomed...oh, how quick I can run. Forget. Shrug-off. Follow "other gods". Even when I've seen God's power and might on personal (and amazing) levels, I still can do all these things just a few days later. I am Israel. But I have been ransomed nonetheless, and thus need to shout with joy!

Some things I am asking and reminding myself today and throughout this season we call Advent/Christmas:

How am I “captive”? What is holding me captive?

Lord, give me a desire to want you to be in control of my life…

Lord, help me rejoice! Show me where you have given me things to praise you for…

Lord, expose my faults, my selfishness, my struggles…and let me feel your forgiveness…

AMEN

Not Just for Weddings // 1 Corinthians 13

2008-12-20T10:00:00.004-06:00

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Footnotes:

1 Corinthians 13:1 Or languages
1 Corinthians 13:3 Some early manuscripts body that I may boast

Words, phrases that stuck out:

Well, before going into the words and phrases, some quick commentary on this chapter as a whole... When we think of love, too often we equate it with that fluffy, fluttering feeling of romantic love. Now sure, romantic love must have the qualities expressed here, too, but that kind of love is so dependent on feeling, emotion, etc. The love Paul expresses here is timeless, reckless, risky, and above all, a glimpse of how God loves. But we use this passage so often at times where romantic love is celebrated...while, I even think it was a part of Missy and my wedding over seven years ago! That isn't all a bad thing per se, and I think Missy and I weren't using this passage solely for lovey-dovey reasons, but the temptation is/was there. So, I am seeking to look deeper at what this says to me today...and to truly see the depth that this high calling of Love is...

*** ...the most excellent way.; verse 1: This beginning to chapter 13 is in response to 12 (duh), that talks about how believers fit together (via gifts, talents, callings, and passions). It challenges us all to serve Christ alongside one another, and let's be honest: that get rough sometimes. Different gifts, while complimentary and necessary, sometimes create a mishmash of opinions, personalities, and agendas that may not always be God-infused (due to our human sides "shining through" at times). But how do we make it all work? By "the most excellent way..."

*** ...but have not love, I am nothing.; verse 2: Paul goes through a list of various God-given gifts and abilities, but reminds us that we can, say, be the best preacher on the planet, but if we don't have Love behind it all...it really doesn't matter. DANG. I mean, sure, Christ can shine through if I use my gifts, but if I am a complete jerk, or arrogant, or prejudiced, won't my influence (for God's sake) be negatively seen by others, and by default, their view of God could be messed up, too? Not sure if that's something I want on my conscience... I'm not perfect, but the last thing I want is for my lack-of-love to cloud how one sees God. If I don't have love, I don't have squat...no matter what I think of myself...

*** ...it is not self seeking...; verse 5: True love does not think of "me first". When I approach others, whether they are family, friends, or strangers, I need to allow the Holy Spirit to show me how God's love can be shown to them first...NOT me first.

*** ...it keeps no record of wrongs.; verse 5: I think this along with "not self seeking" stood out to me because, well, they may be the hardest parts of real Love for me to attain. As much as I (or others) "think" I don't keep score...well, we are all wrong. I do keep score. Sure, it may appear that others keep score more than I, but it doesn't mean that I never do. And this bothers me. I may even be able to convince myself that, say, I don't keep score with my wife...and for a time, I may not...but usually at some point, I start feeling like I "deserve" things, and yes, start holding it against her. Or, I'll conveniently bring back past (even years past) events that were dividing points between us (that I should have, and even may have appeared to, "let go"...when maybe I hadn't) and use them against her. That, according to this, ain't love...and if I am God's, redeemed by Christ and surrendered to him...he keeps no wrongs, either...I should prayerfully seek the same heart.

*** ...always...always...always...always...; verse 7: Real, godly love is an always thing, not a sometimes thing. Big shocker, this is hard for me! But how encouraging to know that God is "always"...?

*** Love never fails.; verse 8: I love some of the "short and sweet" sentences in the scriptures. They are always so powerful, and I need to pay special attention. Love never fails. Never. The power behind something that can never fail MUST be infinite. We humans can do many things; some of us are truly excellent at those things. But even the smartest, nicest, and yes, most "loving" person...will fail at some point. Only God can have the might and power to never fail. And Love, capital "L", from God alone, doesn't fail. Won't fail. Has NEVER failed...

*** When I became a man, I put my childish ways behind me.; verse 11: This is a verse for me right now. Will I always be playful, fun-loving, and "young at heart"? I sure hope so. But I've had a motivation for some time now (and, in my opinion, and probably others, "it was about time!" haha) to move from being childish and selfish in many ways...to being a man. A grown-up. I know, novel idea (I'm 34...). There are just things that I continually need to let God grow in me, like new passions and desires, and ultimately a renewed call to "man up" in various responsibilities that I've avoided/put on others over the years...

Questions for me:

What parts of "me" am I not allowing love to permeate? What grudges do I hold on to? Where do I need to stop taking score?

Making Thunder...

2008-12-17T12:48:00.003-06:00

As I've said recently (http://haphazardangus.blogspot.com/2008/12/great-song.html), I have been blessed by discovering the music of an old 80s band, The Call. Another of their songs has been flying through my head lately (even when I cannot help it!), called "The Morning". The part that specifically is awesome to me is what I suppose you'd call the "bridge" or "tag" (you know...that part about 2/3 through some songs that is structured differently than the rest of the song...musicians know what I mean):

I wanna run, I wanna shout, I wanna make thunder
Wanna know what kind of spell I've fallen under
Show me, show me
I wanna live, I wanna breathe, I wanna love hard
Wanna give my life to you
Lose me in you

I just love this cry to God. I hear complete, reckless desire to be God's. I especially love the lines about making thunder and loving hard. To love hard...implies truly choosing to love, being proactive in it, purposeful in it. To look for where God's love can shine through you and going for it... And making thunder? Not sure, but the wild man in me just thinks it sounds cool. Sounds William Wallace-esque. Maximus-sque. Aragorn-esque. You get the picture. While I am not always "wired" like those famous movie characters...I cannot deny that when I watch Braveheart, Gladiator, or The Lord of the Rings series, a part of my soul wants to "have what they're having", so to speak...a passion to do whatever it takes...to "make thunder" in this world in the name of Jesus...

My Dirty Feet // John 13:1-17

2008-12-17T10:29:00.002-06:00

Jesus Washes His Disciples' Feet 1It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.[a]
2The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

6He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"

7Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

8"No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet."
Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."

9"Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!"

10Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." 11For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.

12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Footnotes:

John 13:1 Or he loved them to the last

Words, phrases that stuck out to me:

*** ...the full extent of his love.; verse 1: I can't even fathom what the extent of the Savior's love is. But just the fact he would give us a taste is simply amazing. Jesus was truly willing (no, more than willing...he wanted to!)show the love of God himself to us... I need to realize that God's love is something that I may never be able to truly grasp (as all I can compare to is earthly versions of love that, while amazing in their own right, are flawed and imperfect), but that it is there...and the phrase that keeps coming to me is that, "God is bonkers about us". If I'm bonkers for someone or something...I will go to all ends to be with them...to love them...to serve them...no matter what...

*** "No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."; verse 8: Peter's response to Jesus wishing to stoop so low to wash his feet is a microcosm to the pride we all have. We think too easily that we are "above" things, that we can handle stuff on our own, that while we "think" we need God...we really don't believe it too often. Jesus' response is one we all need to take to heart: if you don't let me cleanse you, let me do this...then you aren't really with me. That's hard for all of us to hear. I know I struggle with the concept of really giving up all my crud to Jesus so he can clean me. I want to hold on. I want to try and take care of business myself, in my own strength. But I will never get it done... I need to daily submit my failings, my concerns, my struggles to Christ, and LET him deal with them...let him clean me.

*** "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean."; verse 10: When I first read this during my morning reading, it stuck out to me but I was thinking, "What on EARTH does that mean?" I figured I'd just put it here and say that I had no idea... But, as I sit here and revisit this passage, something came to me. Not sure if it's right or not, but here goes...

When we first truly surrender to Christ, truly realize the depth of our fallen nature, we are washed clean from head-to-toe. White as snow, pure in God's eyes, etc. But sometimes we need to seek cleaning again...but Jesus says, "My cleansing of you is sufficient once-and-for-all, but I know there are times you feel the need to be hosed off again...let me serve you again, wash your feet, as you feet are what lead you down various paths, some that may make things muddy...but remember that I have already cleaned your whole being!"

That's just what it's saying to me right now I suppose...

*** "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."; verse 15: While I certainly believe that Jesus is IMMEASURABLY more than just an "example for us" (how about savior, redeemer, God-in-the-flesh, etc.?), but still, if we want to know more about God himself, want to know how to approach life in his ways, etc...we need to look no further than Jesus' own example, and apply it. Easy? Nope...but aspire we must!

Questions for me...

Am I even realizing a taste of how bonkers God is for me, especially in light of Jesus?

Do I let Christ cleanse my soul? Do I know he's done it? That he's willing?

How am I seeking to live Christ's example today? What ways do I need to humble myself, remove my pride, etc., to better live for Jesus?

Our First Encounter With Bullying UPDATED

2008-12-16T15:36:00.004-06:00

So at the age of 4 1/2, in pre-school, my son officially has a bully in his life.

Missy and I have been concerned about this relationship for awhile (he has been in the same class with this boy for about three years now), but today it came to a head, literally.

According to Jax's teacher, he was punched in the head by this kid. Hard. Apparently unprovoked. Jax started screaming and was unconsolable. He has a HUGE knot on his head (think between temple and eyebrow), bruising, and it even looks like his skin has been broken. As the day went on he seemed his happy old self again, but my wife just called concerned that he fell asleep and complained of his head hurting, so it could be a concussion.

Really, 4 year olds just walking up and POUNDING other kids?

This child apparently "rules" the classroom and has already (in my opinion) caused one teacher to quit (or at least made the decision easier...other factors were at play), and his current one has had more than one day resulting in her own tears because of this boy.

What to do? I don't want to be "that parent" that simply does not allow his kids to learn to deal with any hard relationships, and thus moving him out, and I also don't want to be "that parent" that never thinks it's his own kids' fault.

But dang.

I'm trying to sense how I can pray for this kid, how I can (or, if I should?) approach his parents, the school, etc. Ultimately, I feel for this kid. His parents at least seem to be nice folks, and I can imagine they "know" their kid is "that kid", and that has to be hard...

Thoughts? Would LOVE 'em!

UPDATE

Well, we had a meeting with the head of the school this morning. It was a good one, and Missy and I feel much better about how the situation is being handled. Apparently, conversations have been ongoing between teacher, school-heads, the board, and the parents of the kid causing the trouble, and it has been decided (before we even met, by the way) that the child causing class struggles will not return the rest of this semester and will be moved to another, less-structured (but with more observation) classroom starting in 2009.

I wish to let it be known, that we are not trying to pile on this kid...we truly care about him as well as his family, and simply want what's best for the group, for Jax, and for this boy. My prayer is that he will be able to reach a great potential that he surely has!

We Don't Get What We Deserve...We Get What We Don't Deserve// Luke 15:11-32

2008-12-14T10:19:00.003-06:00

The Parable of the Lost Son
11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.
13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[a]'

22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

Footnotes:

Luke 15:21 Some early manuscripts son. Make me like one of your hired men.

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** "...squandered..."; verse 13: When I think of the word "squander", I can't help but think of when I take something completely for granted and waste it...and then later feel bad about it. That's what the son here was doing with his inheritance that dad gave him. He wanted all the glory and provision NOW, and all he did was completlely take it for granted and waste it all. I know that's how myself and others too often view God's love, his provision, his promises, and ultimately his grace. We are all guilty (at one time or another...and sometimes we choose to "live" in this place...) of taking the fact that, "God loves me, forgives me, saves me, etc., no matter what...so I think I'm just gonna run off and do whatever I want, fulfill selfish wants and desires, no matter how harmful it may be to me or others in my wake..."

*** "...he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."; verse 20: If it were up to me, while I may still be glad to see my wayward son, I'd probably have a list of things to tell him right off the bad that I didn't like... But if we are to look at the "father" as God, we need to realize that the list never materializes...all he cares about is that you came home. How powerful! How humbling! I know I should look at God's amazing love and grace (shown in this parable), and weep with joy...and be compelled to walk every step for him.

*** "I am no longer worthy to be called your son."; verse 21: This is a point we ALL have to come to before we can truly surrender to Christ, if you ask me. Many times I "think" I'm broken, contrite, or "sorry", but in reality, I'm still not at the point of humility I need to truly realize God's amazing love for me. The son here realizes his unworthiness...

*** "Let's...celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again."; verse 24-24: And yet, despite the fact that the son squandered everything, took advantage of grace and love, and knows he is unworthy to be called one of his father's own...the father plans a party. Wow. The son deserved to be cast out, shunned, or punished, but he got what he didn't deserve: a party, love, and utter joy from his father. That is how God views us! I mess up like crazy, take grace and love for granted...and God loves me like BONKERS all the same. THAT should make me surrender everything to the Lord!

*** "All these years I've been slaving for you..."; verse 29: but, you see, there is another character in this story I've neglected so far: the older brother. The one who has been striving to live "right" under his father's leadership. One who feels like he deserves favor as a result. One who, if honest, may not be living for his "dad" for all the right reasons... He may be really just trying to gain "points" so he gets perks, blessings, etc. I too often allow such thinking to cloud my mind (and ultimately, my soul). I think that I deserve God's tangible blessings because, well, I've been "slaving" for him: doing works to gain favor and spiritual gold stars on some cosmic behavior chart. The big brother's attitude needs to be a reminder to me that it isn't about all my good works and behavior, and it certainly doesn't need to be all done with a motivation of "getting blessed". God blesses. In his way and timing. End of story. I should instead be crazy-grateful that he blesses at all, even when I run like crazy at times and squander...

*** "...'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours."; verse 31: Here is what God says to us with the attitude of the brother: I haven't forgotten you! The blessings are as available to you as they are to your brother (who ran off). And if you run off sometime...I'll embrace your return all the same.

Questions for me:

Am I the lost son, or the older brother? Have I been "both" at various times?

Does God's welcoming back of "lost sons" make me jealous (If I feel like I "deserve" his favor due to my efforts), or am I grateful that's how I can approach him, too?

How do I take God's grace for granted?

Do I really believe that I don't deserve any of God's favor? How do I react when I realize he gives it despite me?

How can I be forgiving (without taking score, having a list of complaints) to others more like the father?

Be God's // 1 Timothy 4

2008-12-12T12:00:00.003-06:00

The title I wrote is in honor of Rich Mullins, a Christian songwriter who passed away in 1997 whom I've always respected...I am currently reading his biography, An Arrow Pointing to Heaven, and in that I learned that Rich signed all notes/letters/autographs with the phrase, "Be God's". I think that applies as a theme to the passage that follows as well...

Instructions to Timothy
1The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. 2Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. 3They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. 4For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, 5because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.
6If you point these things out to the brothers, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, brought up in the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed. 7Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

9This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance 10(and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe.

11Command and teach these things. 12Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 13Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. 14Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

15Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** For everything God created is good...; verse 4: While this sounds nice, it is actually tough thing to comprehend for me. I mean, if all of God's creation is Good...what about stuff that is harmful (like drugs, etc.)? Or, is it that originally the plants, elements, etc., that go into creating a dangerous thing, are Good? Or is it that we use them for the wrong things? Or just when stuff becomes abused, or consumes us? Good questions there...and mystery.

*** Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly...; verse 7: Sadly, I know too many people who label themselves "Christian" that seem to let ideas that are not born in scripture guide them. I mean, sure, there is some good "worldly wisdom" out there, but some of it, while seeming good in theory, isn't necessarily accurate as to God's character and how we are to approach life as his follower. I am always a bit disappointed in some of the books, sayings, etc., that get such support from some Christians...when if you really dig into what they are saying, aren't very biblical. I know this is easy for me to say as I've been spending so many posts lately expunging my thoughts on certain scriptures I've encountered during the day...but who is to say that this "season" I'm in won't hit a big dry spell, as it has in the past? That said, I am often a bit dismayed by the am mount of Christians who have little knowledge about basic Christian doctrine, theology, etc., and thus are too easily swayed by what they hear, read, see...

Paul says we are instead to train ourselves to be godly. I suppose that's why I am seeking to be proactive and encounter the scriptures daily, pray and ponder over them, and later journal thoughts (via this blog). I feel a re-conviction in my heart of the need to seek godliness. But, part of "training", just like physical exercise, means that there are days when we still don't "feel it"...but choose to run anyway. I am seeking that same attitude toward my spiritual training, hopefully...

Why should I do this? Paul explains below...

*** ...godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. ; verse 8: God has purpose for me not just in eternity, but right now as well. I could, I suppose, just kick back, say, "Oh well, I've got my ticket 'punched' since I've accepted Jesus's sacrifice for my sin (although this attitude would make me wonder how real it is/was...)", and ride out life until my body quits working, but I instead should be so grateful to the Lord for saving me (despite my best efforts otherwise) and thus release my control to him, letting myself be molded accordingly so God can use me for his purpose.

*** Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.; verse 12: This verse is a staple in youth ministries, but it rings so true to anyone I suppose, despite your age. For teens, though, it really is a challenge that may be tough... Research indicates that a teen's "decision making center" in their brain is not too well developed...so they tend to do things that are, well, not too-well thought out...and my guess is that it was the same back in Timothy's day. Older generations likely saw most young people as "impulsive, stupid, reckless", and as Timothy was apparently in that demographic age-wise, found it difficult to be taken seriously as he shared his message of Christ. So, his mentor, Paul, told him how to be more "heard": set a godly example by how you talk, live, treat folks, exhibit faith, and treat yourself...all that right there is good for ANY believer seeking to share God's love and message to those around them...regardless of age...

*** Do not neglect your gift...; verse 14: Timothy's gift apparently was preaching/teaching. God has given each of us gifts to be used for his glory...some are more "up front" (like preaching, singing, etc.), and some more behind-the-scenes. No matter what it is, we need to always be seeking to offer the gifts and talents God has blessed us with be used by him. So for me, if I'm gifted in being merciful (because, let's be honest, some folks aren't...and on the flip-side, I am not as "bold" as others, and I do believe a boldness for Jesus is a gift...), then I need to let God shine through a merciful heart that seems to just come more "naturally" to me. So, if one is artistic, they should seek to use their artistry to bring folks in contact with their creator... And in the midst of all this, I need to make sure I am pointing folks to Christ, NOT me...as the temptation (using my "mercy" gift) is for me to be merciful and hope that folks go, "Wow, Ben is so nice and caring...what a guy!", instead of seeking for others to give glory to God through the mercy I may show...

*** Watch your life and doctrine closely.; verse 16: Ultimately, what we believe ends up coming out in how we live. If we believe that Jesus is who he says he is...and trust in the cross for salvation...then it affects our motivations, etc. If we think none of it matters...well, ditto. I always to try and avoid being too much of a "theology policeman" (because I do acknowledge that ultimately, God is a mystery and my human mind can't possibly explain it all), but I do think we need to brush up on the essentials (my list includes God as creator, humans as fallen, Jesus as our only savior and redeemer, Bible as God's word, the Trinity as true, etc.... There's a good basic list. Other issues may be good for discussion, but some differences are sure to be out there...).

Questions for me:

Am I seeking to be God's? Does my life, who I am, etc., flow out of my beliefs? Are they good beliefs?

Making God Everything in Life, and Passing It On // Deuteronomy 6

2008-12-10T14:58:00.004-06:00

Love the LORD Your God
1 These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you.
4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

10 When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

13 Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. 14 Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; 15 for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land. 16 Do not test the LORD your God as you did at Massah. 17 Be sure to keep the commands of the LORD your God and the stipulations and decrees he has given you. 18 Do what is right and good in the LORD's sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers, 19 thrusting out all your enemies before you, as the LORD said.

20 In the future, when your son asks you, "What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded you?" 21 tell him: "We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. 22 Before our eyes the LORD sent miraculous signs and wonders—great and terrible—upon Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household. 23 But he brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that he promised on oath to our forefathers. 24 The LORD commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the LORD our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. 25 And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness."

Footnotes:

Deuteronomy 6:4 Or The LORD our God is one LORD; or The LORD is our God, the LORD is one ; or The LORD is our God, the LORD alone

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** ...be careful to obey so that it may go well with you..."; verse 3: Although this is just an English translation of an ancient language, I first of all noticed the may in there...not a will. I think that is important. Regardless, this entire passage is a statement telling us that, "God isn't stupid, and knows the best way to tackle life." And while following God and his commands certainly doesn't promise and easy life, it does make things go better in general. I mean, think about if you never lied. Sure, you may get out of some nice "perks" in life, but wouldn't you be seen as a trustworthy person? Wouldn't relationships be less strained in general? By seeking to follow the commands of God, there is now way that it can't improve our lives (and lives of others around us) on so many levels...

*** Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.; verse 7: If we truly love God with our every being, seeking to obey him at all times, doesn't it make sense that we'd want to impress this upon our children, training them to do the same? I need to remember that everything is an opportunity to speak about the Lord to my son...and thus I need to look for opportunities to talk to him about God, about my motivations, my reasons to sacrifice, etc., hoping and praying that one day he will trust in Christ's saving grace for himself.

*** ...be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.; verse 12: Oh, how easily I forget... The Lord has done so much for me, has shown me his might in awesome ways, has changed my very being...so how come I just mindlessly walk through life as often as I do? Each of us need to ask God to show us the times we easily/conveniently forget all he's done, forget who he is, and repent. Because...

*** ...the Lord your God...is a jealous God...; verse 15: This is a quality of god we don't usually think about. I mean, if god is so Good, so Loving, so "Other" and Holy...how on earth could he have an emotion like jealousy? Well, while those attributes I listed (and countless others) are so true of our Lord, jealousy is an emotion he has. Why? Well, he created us...loves us, and all he asks is for love in return. But what do we do? We flee. We lie. We worship other gods and idols. If my wife were to say she loved me (and, in reality, did love me), but seemed to be more interested in shopping, in a hobby, or in other friends than me, well, I'd have to admit, I'd be a bit jealous. I think our struggle is that since God is, well, God, he could never have a "human" emotion like jealousy...could he? According to this passage...yes...and honestly, if I am humble and selfless, given all he's done for me, he has every right to be...

Questions for me:

Do I truly realize that, "God knows best", and that while some commands may be tough, or "no fun", or could be risky...that he knows what's up and by following them, life will improve?

How am I passing on a godly legacy to my child? Is it something I even think about? Are there areas of my life I (still) need to give up in surrender for the sake of my kid and his spiritual growth?

How quickly and easily do I forget about all God has done? Are there steps I can take, with God's help and prompting, that can help me remember him all the more?

Great Song

2008-12-10T09:44:00.004-06:00

I have liked this song for some time...but lately the lyrics are so "me", so encouraging, etc. It is by the (mostly) 80s band The Call. Their style is what I'd call "Simple Minds-meets-80s/version of U2, from an American standpoint" (as those other bands are Scottish and Irish, respectively). At any rate, I have recently discovered much more of their catalog...and man, I dig it. Powerful, poetic, honest lyrics (by lead vocalist Michael Been) from a spiritual, Christian perspective. Not lots (if any) direct "Jesus" quotes, but you don't have to go far to realize the Truth Been writes from... If you go hunting for The Call's music (out of curiosity), I recommend the Restored album most of all, but selections from Into the Woods and Let the Day Begin are also great. There are other albums (both earlier and later) that I have yet to discover...but I hope to.

I will let the lyrics speak for themselves...

The Call I Still Believe (Great Design) Lyrics (by Michael Been):

I been in a cave
For forty days
Only a spark
To light my way
I wanna give out
I wanna give in
This is our crime
This is our sin

But I still believe
I still believe
Through the pain
And the grief
Through the lives
Through the storms
Through the cries
And through the wars
Oh, I still believe

Flat on my back
Out at sea
Hopin' these waves
Don't cover me
I'm turned and tossed
Upon the waves
When the darkness comes
I feel the grave

But I still believe
I still believe
Through the cold
And through heat
Through the rain
And through the tears
Through the crowds
And through the cheers
Oh, I still believe

I'll march this road
I'll climb this hill
Upon on my knees
if I have to
I'll take my place
Up on this stage
I'll wait 'til the
end of time
for you like
everybody else

I'm out on my own
Walkin' the streets
Look at the faces
That I meet
I feel like I
Like I want to go
home
What do I feel
What do I know

But I still believe
I still believe
Through the shame
And through the grief
Through the heartache
Through the tears
Through the waiting
Through the years

For people like us
In places like this
We need all the hope
That we can get
Oh, I still believe

Responsibilities//Titus 2:1-15

2008-12-09T11:45:00.002-06:00

A quick note: I have been publishing what could best be described as my "scriptural journaling" lately, just titling each post based on the "Pondering _______ _:_-_"-model. For some reason, in my random nature, I feel like giving each a title from now on (and I may even go back and re-title old ones) to just preface a theme I see in the passage...

Titus 2
What Must Be Taught to Various Groups
1You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

6Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

9Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, 10and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.

11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

15These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

Words/phrases that stuck out:

*** All the "self-control" statements (various verses): I think so much of our problem with sin is that we too easily allow it to creep in. We say, "I just couldn't help it!" I believe the quest for true self-control is a journey that lasts our entire life (just see how even older folks are encouraged to have it in this passage), but how often is it something we don't even seek? We just go, "Oh well, I'm a sinner, I can't help it, I'm just going to do it again later sometime so what's the point in stopping?" What a cop out. And I cop out all the time... But, I hope that at least in my life, I realize the need and importance of self-control, and how many struggles flow out of our inability to have restraint.

*** ...sound doctrine.; verse 1: People argue day-and-night as to what doctrine is truly "sound", or is good, right, and essential for those who belong to Jesus. We humans just struggle with thinking we have it all figured out, and draw lots of lines in the sand. Are "lines" important, is sound doctrine/right theology important? With great humility, YES. Lots of slippery slopes, heresies, etc., have resulted from people seeking to figure out God and how he works (or the flip-side: letting it all be such a "free-for-all" that there is NO doctrine at all...), but I still think all followers of Christ need to seek some "essentials". One recommendation is to explore some of the historic creeds, like the Apostle's (http://www.reformed.org/documents/index.html?mainframe=http://www.reformed.org/documents/apostles_creed.html) or Nicene (http://www.reformed.org/documents/index.html?mainframe=http://www.reformed.org/documents/nicene.html). Basically, I think at the very least, the statements in credal documents like these are essential to Christian belief. Beyond that, however, we need to tread with care. Are there doctrines that even need to be explored further (and even some from these creeds that go deeper?)? Absolutely! But, we need to tread with humility, admitting that various -ologies and -isms, no matter how godly the writers, are still from human hands...and thus we have to be at peace with the mystery that ultimately is God...

*** ...worthy of respect...; verse 2: Talking specifically of the responsibilities older men have in being an example to younger generations, being one that is respected by others is huge. Many factors surely go into deciding if respect is truly "worthy" or not, and good lists of qualities can be found throughout the Bible. This is a trait I need to prayerfully seek, though, despite some of it's abstract-ness. We all know people from older generations that feel like they are "deserved" respect...but their lives and legacies certainly make giving respect difficult.

*** ...train...; verse 4: As in, "training others". We all need to look at our example, legacy, character, etc., from a training of younger generations standpoint. Sadly, many do not have this focus. As I walk among those younger than I (and I spend most of my time with teens and my son, a preschooler), I need to prayerfully consider my actions and attitudes in a proactive light, always asking, "How can who I am in action, attitude, etc., train others so they can be closer to their creator?"

*** ...soundness of speech that cannot be condemned...; verse 8: This one is tough. I know that too often I, "speak before thinking", and as comedian Brian Regan once said, my thoughts are sadly, "Oh no, words are coming out!" And you can't take words back. I am grateful that an answered prayer of mine has been an increased awareness of the words I say (and even the tone sometimes when the actual words may be "ok", but how I say them is not beneficial...), but I certainly have much to learn. Ask my wife, family, or friends (especially "old friends"), and they'll certainly tell you that one trait of mine that is often unfortunate is a history of speaking without thinking... Sometimes it has resulted in humorous stories (at my expense), but it has certainly hurt others as well. And speech like that is worthy of being condemned by others. I need to continually seek to let my words be thoughtful, encouraging, loving, and above all worthy of one calling himself a Christian...as the last thing I want is my words to play a role in someone not having faith...

*** ...in every way they will make the teaching about God our savior attractive.; verse 10: Our attitudes, actions, speech, etc., all boil down to this: Is who I am pointing others to Christ? That should both encourage me (and give me great purpose)...and at the same time, scare me to death...

*** Do not let anyone despise you.; verse 15: By now, I don't think I have much else to write about this. Essentially, if I can be a person that holistically "bleeds Christ" in all things I do, this should result in not being despised...now, I know that the Gospel can be offensive to some (aka the notion that we are sinners/not inherently "good"; that our actions mean squat when it comes to God's ultimate favor, that Jesus' death was an atonement for all that, and that unless we realize/accept that and thus commit ourselves to Him, we are lost...), but if I can still "be" someone that strives to be more like Jesus (as both a response of gratitude to him saving me, and as God continues the process known as sanctification in my life), loving people as they are, serving them, etc... hopefully being despised wouldn't occur.

Questions for me:

Am I seeking to have self-control? Am I making excuses for not having self-control?

Do I know what I believe, and what I need to believe? Am I allowing my life to flow from these beliefs? Are these beliefs rooted in sound doctrine?

Am I a person worthy of respect? Is who I am, how I act, how I talk, how I treat others, etc., drawing people toward Christ...or repelling them from him?

Hmmmm (aka, wondering "why")

2008-12-05T11:00:00.003-06:00

I'm not going to go into detail here, but if you read this, would you pray for my family right now? Prayers for patience, clarity, peace, wisdom, etc. all sound about right.

Sometimes it is so tough to deal with hardships/testing (haha, I recently wrote this: http://haphazardangus.blogspot.com/2008/12/pondering-hebrews-121-13.html, need to really remember it now). Right now, we just found something out that isn't what we had hoped. Frustration, questioning has ensued. Past issues and emotions resulting from them have come back. Peace and forgiveness is needed. But it's hard...

So, I am going to read my "pondering Hebrews" post again...pray for strength, etc. I also need to find ways to ecourage Missy (wife) in all this. I'm not fired up, but she is REALLY struggling with it...

Pondering Genesis 22:1-19

2008-12-04T13:10:00.002-06:00

Abraham Tested 1 Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.
2 Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 5 He said to his servants, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."

6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

8 Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.

12 "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

13 Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram [a] caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."

15 The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said, "I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring [b] all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."

19 Then Abraham returned to his servants, and they set off together for Beersheba. And Abraham stayed in Beersheba.

Footnotes:

Genesis 22:13 Many manuscripts of the Masoretic Text, Samaritan Pentateuch, Septuagint and Syriac; most manuscripts of the Masoretic Text a ram behind him
Genesis 22:18 Or seed

Words, phrases that stuck out:

*** "only son" (verse 2) and "third day" (verse 4): It is so cool how God foreshadowed the sacrifice of Jesus, his only son, and on the third day, no less, hundreds of years before it actually happened. To me, this is just one of MANY examples from the Old Testament where the Cross is described, where God used similar circumstances surrounding Christ to make covenants, to bring salvation, etc. Amazing.

*** Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.; verse 10: Dang. First, this sentence is so powerful, it is it's own entire verse. It also makes me think of a discussion from my high school youth group (yes, I can remember those days on occasion), where the adult leading our discussion group talked about this passage, and how if God asked him to kill one of his kids, he'd basically say, "Hell no, God! I won't do it!" While I appreciated his honesty (and forcefulness...sorry if the "hell no" offends...), I always thought it was, while honest, an amazing lack of faith. Then I had a kid...and understood his initial thoughts all the more...

Honestly, I don't know what I would do. Oh, sure, I "hope" I would do whatever God would ask...but dang. I do think this passage has more to say to us than just "killing our kid" though. I believe at the core it is a test to see how far I would be willing to sacrifice for the sake of God's glory...I selfishly hope it would never be the sacrifice of my son, but now I can at least appreciate a smidgen of what God the Father went through when Jesus was killed... But, let's continue to ponder the concept of being "willing". Am I willing to sacrifice things, whether material or abstract, should God ask? I know a story, for example, of a couple (that will remain anonymous...and they aren't who told me...they have no idea) who felt so called by God to be able to give more generously to their church and mission...that they decided to sell their "dream home" (that had only been lived in for like 6 months) and downsize so they could give more to their church. What an example of obedience! Can you imagine the war going on in their hearts? "But, we just moved in! It's our dream house! We already give a lot!" You also need to know, their church isn't one of those kinda freaky, televangelist-led, "give us/me more money so God can move (and pastor can get a sweet home(s))"-type places. No, it is a missional, not-self-seeking, impactful, progressive community of faith. Could I do the same? Would you?

*** "Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."; verse 12: See above for commentary on this one...I underlined it this morning, then after writing about verse 10, realize that I already explained my thoughts...

*** ...The LORD Will Provide.; verse 14: First, what a great statement of faith, not that God might provide, but will provide. But, this was actually a place, almost a signpost for Abraham and others to remember how God provided, and would again. It is very similar to the concept of the Ebenezer, something built to remember the Lord, his ways, promises, etc., that one can look back on and be encouraged and have hope (aka, certainty).

Questions for me:

How far is the limit of what I'm willing to sacrifice for God? What holds me back? Fear? Possible ridicule? Risks (even if only "possible")?

Are there "monuments", images, etc., in my life that I can return to and be reminded of God's promises, provision, etc.?

Pondering Hebrews 12:1-13

2008-12-03T10:37:00.004-06:00

God Disciplines His Sons
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."[a]

7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet,"[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Footnotes:

Hebrews 12:6 Prov. 3:11,12
Hebrews 12:13 Prov. 4:26

Words, phrases that stuck out to me:

*** ...sin that so easily entangles,; verse 1: I especially am drawn to the word entangle. When I get tangled up in something, I am stuck. I will probably fall, may even get injured. Do I view sin as something that has that effect on me? I hope so, but surely not enough. Sin so easily and readily creeps in to our lives when we aren't in constant focus on our savior...usually without us realizing it. Oh sure, we can go out and boldly do stupid things, but often in those cases there were "little entanglements" that led to an attitude where we could so easily rationalize the destructive, splitting-from-God behavior. The tough thing to do is truly be aware of the little vines that seem inconsequential, but as they creep up our legs, get stronger, slow us down, and ultimately, make us fall on our face...

*** Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,; verse 2: This, while seeming to be a typical "church answer" (you know, "read the bible! pray more! JESUS!"), is how we don't get entangled. But how? First, by KNOWING that Jesus is the author of our faith. Think about that... He wrote it. Not just a "part of the story, one of many stories"...he is who birthed it. Christ has been involved intimately from the beginning of all things. HOLY COW! Also, the word perfecter. Jesus is who does the perfecting, NOT us. We struggle soooooo mightily with that one, relying on our own experience, intellect, personality, etc. We think, "If I just grit my teeth and fight through this, I will get better..." No. That will always fail. But by seeking and allowing Jesus to perfect us, praying for help, change, etc., and releasing it to him, it happens. I know from experience. I know it is hard for others to realize someone else's experience of knowing God, but there have been times I truly asked God to change me...and then allowed him to by remembering my prayer, by reminding myself, and ultimately, by "releasing" it, trusting that God would do it...and I could look back later and see how my heart was different.

*** "...the Lord disciplines those he loves..."; verse 6: That word, discipline, shows up a lot in this passage. And I suspect none of us like it one bit, haha. No really, how many "like" the notion that we can be disciplined by God? That things are allowed to occur in our life, so we can grow stronger from them (despite the pain involved)?

*** Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.; verse 7: First, when things aren't going our ways, we need to not wonder, "Where are you, God? Why are you doing this to me?", and instead ponder how God may "tweak" us during that time, all for HIS glory (and oh, to have his glory be our primary purpose in ALL things...so hard to do...). Also, I am encouraged by knowing that he is doing it because he views me as his son. This has such new meaning as I am now a parent. I HATE having to discipline Jackson, and I'm not talking about just the inconvenience; I hate the fact that I have to "get on him", or give a swat (yes, on occasion), or send to time-out. But, I also know that I am trying to train him in God's ways...and while it is no fun, for either of us, it is because I am bonkers about my boy and want him to be the best man he can. To know that God thinks the same of me, in the midst of hardship and discipline...wow.

*** ...god disciplines us for good, that we may share in his holiness.; verse 10: Much like the above "pondering", our discipline is Good (notice the capital "G") and is so we may share in his holiness. That is huge. God actually wants us to experience HIS holiness...

*** ...strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet..."; verse 12, spilling into 13: Because of all just read and pondered...I need to allow for strengthening and healing. LET God do those things. Be willing to take the necessary steps. For when I am weak, that is when God really shines through... http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=54&chapter=12&verse=10&version=31&context=verse

Where am I getting all tangled up? Are there some little, annoying things creeping in that I may miss, and need to deal with? Are there some big things that need to get CHOPPED? Am I allowing Jesus to perfect me? Do I look to him in all things?

Do I blame God for hardship? If I am...how is that affecting how I approach my life, others, and God himself?

Where am I being disciplined? Where have I been disciplined by God in the past? Do I seek God, seek change, etc., in the midst of discipline and hardship, or am I bitter?

December...already?

2008-12-01T09:40:00.003-06:00

Wow. December 2008 is upon us. One part of life that I've noticed that is a BIG change from my younger years is that life simply "moves" faster. I remember back in my school years that time seemed to drag. A school year seemed like an eternity. Christmas always seemed like eons ago. Going over to a friend's house after school, from say 3:30-5 pm, seemed like plenty of time to play, explore, etc. Visiting grandparents from Friday night (always arriving during the news) until Sunday lunch, with only one "real day" (Saturday) to play, run around town, etc., still seemed like a decently long trip.

No more.

Holidays from multiple years run together, and I often place my memories from them in the wrong year. Along those lines, instead of, say, Christmas seeming so long ago, it is more like, "My goodness...it's time again? Seems like it just happened!" As far as trips go, I just got back from a Tuesday-Saturday visit with my family in Kingwood, and when Saturday arrived, I was shocked it was already time to drive back to Weatherford. And we had been there parts of five days! When we do visit someone for just a couple days, it seems like a flash, almost "not worth" such a short trip...why? It didn't use to be that way...

Have I really been out of college for ELEVEN years? Those memories are still so vivid... And I can't believe I've been married over seven years. I vividly remember Missy and I just dating...and now seven years!? Wow. I can't believe we've been in Weatherford 4 1/2 years. We were in Houston only three, but for some reason, that time seemed to take longer. How come? And maybe most shocking of all, I can't believe we've had Jackson for 4 1/2 years... Forget the fact that I still can't believe he's FOUR (when he's closing in on FIVE), It's just amazing to see pics of him as a baby and go, "My goodness...that really doesn't seem that long ago." And, listening to parents of older kids, it doesn't get any slower. The old adage of, "One day, you wake up and they are leaving home," is surely true. And I'm not always looking forward to that fact...not due to fear, but more selfishly wanting more "time"!

It isn't all bad. Life moving fast does have it's perks. Holidays DO come quicker, and I love this time of year, even if it gets hectic. And I can't wait to see what our little family will become as the years go by...and I know the wait won't seem as long. Being patient also becomes easier, as having to wait for things that may be a year down the road doesn't seem like such an eternity...

So here's to life going by, in all it's excitement, wonder, unknown, joy, hope...

Pondering 1 Samuel 3:1-21

2008-11-28T07:47:00.002-06:00

The LORD Calls Samuel
1 The boy Samuel ministered before the LORD under Eli. In those days the word of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions.
2 One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see, was lying down in his usual place. 3 The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple [a] of the LORD, where the ark of God was. 4 Then the LORD called Samuel.
Samuel answered, "Here I am." 5 And he ran to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me."
But Eli said, "I did not call; go back and lie down." So he went and lay down.

6 Again the LORD called, "Samuel!" And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me."
"My son," Eli said, "I did not call; go back and lie down."

7 Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD : The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him.

8 The LORD called Samuel a third time, and Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, "Here I am; you called me."
Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. 9 So Eli told Samuel, "Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, 'Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.' " So Samuel went and lay down in his place.

10 The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!"
Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

11 And the LORD said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle. 12 At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family—from beginning to end. 13 For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, [b] and he failed to restrain them. 14 Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, 'The guilt of Eli's house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.' "

15 Samuel lay down until morning and then opened the doors of the house of the LORD. He was afraid to tell Eli the vision, 16 but Eli called him and said, "Samuel, my son."
Samuel answered, "Here I am."

17 "What was it he said to you?" Eli asked. "Do not hide it from me. May God deal with you, be it ever so severely, if you hide from me anything he told you." 18 So Samuel told him everything, hiding nothing from him. Then Eli said, "He is the LORD; let him do what is good in his eyes."

19 The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground. 20 And all Israel from Dan to Beersheba recognized that Samuel was attested as a prophet of the LORD. 21 The LORD continued to appear at Shiloh, and there he revealed himself to Samuel through his word.

Footnotes:
1 Samuel 3:3 That is, tabernacle
1 Samuel 3:13 Masoretic Text; an ancient Hebrew scribal tradition and Septuagint sons blasphemed God

Words/Phrases That Stuck Out:

*** Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord...; verse 7: This just confirms to me that we are not "born knowing God." That may seem like a non-issue to some, but I know that many of us are tempted to think that all we need is to be born to be tight with God. I do not believe that is so, and a passage like this is just evidence...Samuel may have been a decent enough kid, and certainly would become a man in communion with his creator (as we know if we keep reading the story), but there was a time when it was not so...

*** ...revealed...; verse 7: The language used here, while I admit it is "the best stab at biblical linguist scholars translating ancient Hebrew into English," certainly indicates that Samuel coming to truly know the Lord was an act of THE LORD, not Samuel becoming so enlightened or convinced due solely to his own intellect. God does the revealing, the saving, etc., not us... We need to realize that, as there is temptation to think that our own minds are what redeem us, ultimately.

*** "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening."; verse 9: Oh, to have that sort of attitude! I can speak for myself, that attitudes such as this are too few-and-far between. I need to pray for this more, seeking to have a listening ear and sensitive heart to what God is saying to me, encouraging me to do. Notice the emphasis on "is": Too often we ask for God to speak to us, to show us the way...when in reality, he already IS speaking to us...we just need to be willing to open up to him, which, of course, is the big struggle.

*** "He is the Lord; let him do what is good in his eyes."; verse 18: Similar to the above passage, the struggle I have here is actually letting God just do his thing... I know that, God will get done what God wants done (regardless if I am used or not), but I know sometimes, well, I just want to be left alone, or I want what BEN wants done...but it may not be part of God's plan. It could be, of course, but I have to listen first, and then be humble enough to follow god's plan (regardless to if I want it or not), and finally have the courage and attitude to keep following and trusting.

Questions for Me:

Am I listening? Better yet, am I even wanting to listen?

Am I one who would do God's request and plan, regardless of if I like it, or if it makes sense to me? What if those closest to me think I'm bonkers? Is it obvious to others (and not so I can "look all spiritual and pat myself on the back...") that I am a man seeking to hear God and do his bidding, thus others close to me trust the word I'm sensing from the Lord? Or, am I so inconsistent in this that trust isn't given/isn't deserved?

Not Another "There is a Big Day Coming Soon...Better Blog on It!" Post...

2008-11-25T07:05:00.003-06:00

...well, sort of :-)

Today we go down to spend parts of FIVE days with my family in the Houston, TX, area. I will resist the obvious temptation to spend some words here challenging each of you to be truly grateful and thankful...and instead throw together a haphazard list of things I am grateful for so far this year...just how they come to me...

A renewed passion for scripture. Sad to say, I've been in quite a "personal scriptural study rut" for WAY too long. Oh sure, I open my Bible a lot...but too often just to prepare a message, do something for "work" (and I need to not look at it like that).

Missy (coolest wife anyone could ever want) and Jackson (my Padawan...yes, I think he is a Jedi in training).

Fellow sojourners that walk alongside me, challenge me, lift me up, etc., and this year, a special shout out to my "older sis" Cyndi Cantrell...thanks for being a friend who is always there for support, always keeping me on my toes, and not afraid to bring/accept "coffee peace offerings"...hahaha

My mentor, Tom Loughrey, Sr. You, sir, have so much wisdom to offer...

Parents that support, trust, are fun, etc...

And the bestest Gramma/Pops/Oma/Opa a little boy named Jax could EVER want.

Mother's Day with Granny...and when she went home this summer, a true celebration of an awesome lady, not a "cry fest"...

Great friends, like the Travis', Austin's, Morrison's, Julia, Andy Payne...

New friends, like the CTCYM crew: Amanda "Mandy" Sargent, Brad and Lorinda Yates, etc.

New mornings.

The teens and parents of First UMC, Weatherford. It is always an honor to be among you.

God's provision. I may not always get what I "want", but Lord, you always supply enough. I am thankful for food on the table, a roof, transportation, the ability to occasionally "get out" with the fam...

SEA WORLD/KERRVILLE TRIP. Two words: Awe Some...

The snow in March. Just when I thought Jax and I wouldn't have a "snow day" this last winter...BOOM! I think some of my favorite days EVER have been snow days...and they are so cool with The Boy running around with me.

That's all for now. Gotta fix breakfast and get ready to drive south almost 300 miles!

Have a great week! Blessings to all...

Pondering Matthew 20:20-28

2008-11-24T10:54:00.004-06:00

A Mother's Request

20Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him.
21"What is it you want?" he asked.
She said, "Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom."

22"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said to them. "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?"
"We can," they answered.

23Jesus said to them, "You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father."

24When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. 25Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Words, phrases that stuck out to me:

*** "You don't know what you are asking..."; verse 22: I think sometimes we just simply don't get what it really means to have complete surrender and allegiance to Christ. We are good at saying things to others that sound spiritual, making promises to God, etc., that we so easily back out on once we realize the cost...

*** "These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father."; verse 23: This is just a reminder of God's sovereignty to me. God knows what's up...we need to not worry as much about figuring it all out...we just need to be obedient and follow Him. It just seems that we humans are too concerned about future specifics too much, whether it's asking for clear, detailed specifics about our own future (and as long as it's within our own criteria...hahaha) or if it's "out there" stuff like end times scenarios...but i think God just wants us to let him be God sometimes...and trust...

*** "...whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave-- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."; verses 26-28: First, so much about Jesus' purpose is contained here. To serve. To be ransomed. It is hard for folks to even fathom that, because a) we are modeled leaders that often seem to feel entitled to be "worshipped", served by underlings, etc. Jesus said, "NONE OF THAT!" b) It's tough enough at times for Christians themselves to grasp that God would choose for his own son's death to be what paid for the sins of mankind...let alone non-believers. To those who do not claim to be followers of Christ, the notion of a "loving God sacrificing his son" probably seems barbaric and absurd...but if you look at the Old Testament, you can see how this all came to pass...

I also know a prayer of mine is to seek to be a servant first...and if I am a "leader", it is a leader that is seeking to serve those I'm leading, not be served myself. I was praying specifically to have this attitude this morning...and no kidding, 30 minutes didn't go by before I was "compelled" (aka, I didn't ponder it first, weigh the options...I just DID IT) to get up, sweep the floors, do dishes, laundry, etc. I was compelled to serve my family...and if you know my attitude toward cleaning, chores, etc., you KNOW that was an answer to prayer!!! :-)

Questions for me today:

When I say I seek to "follow Christ", am I just giving him/others lip service? What if I am asked to do a REALLY tough thing? What If I thought I was hearing things right...only to find out God really wants me to head a different direction altogether?

Am I really letting God be God, and trusting in his ultimate sovereignty?

What does a servant leader look like? What needs to be done to make sure "false humility" (for personal gain) doesn't happen?

Pondering Luke 2:21-40

2008-11-20T10:55:00.003-06:00

Jesus Presented in the Temple
21On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise him, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he had been conceived.
22When the time of their purification according to the Law of Moses had been completed, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord 23(as it is written in the Law of the Lord, "Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord"[a]), 24and to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: "a pair of doves or two young pigeons."[b]
25Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. 27Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, 28Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
29"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss[c] your servant in peace.
30For my eyes have seen your salvation,
31which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
32a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel."

33The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him. 34Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too."
36There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, 37and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. 38Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.
39When Joseph and Mary had done everything required by the Law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee to their own town of Nazareth. 40And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him.

Footnotes:
Luke 2:23 Exodus 13:2,12
Luke 2:24 Lev. 12:8
Luke 2:29 Or promised, / now dismiss

Words/phrases that stuck out to me:

*** Moved by the Spirit..."; verse 27: How often do I ignore where God is leading? We need discernment, sure, or else every impulse we have can become "God's Spirit told me to..." (and we all know examples where either we or others could have used some wisdom there), but I know I am waaaaay too good at not following some leadings that are probably from God.

*** "...as you have promised..."; verse 29: Here we see yet another example of someone showing great faith and certainty. Simply put, Simeon certainly didn't seem "surprised" by this encounter with the young Jesus...

*** "...destined to cause the rising and falling of many..."; verse 34: I certainly have seen this (and it has been evidenced throughout history). Jesus rarely causes a "meh" attitude toward him and his claims as savior. In fact, I would propose that even lackadaisical attitudes and beliefs about Jesus equate to "against". To paraphrase early church father Augustine, either Jesus is everything...or he is nothing. Either Jesus changes everything about you, right down to your core...or not. And we all know of times where our faith and allegiance to Christ above all results in surprising anger and frustration thrown back at us by those not believing...despite attempts to show love (sounds like what happened to Jesus some, huh?).

*** "...hearts will be revealed."; verse 35: I think this goes hand-in-hand with the above comments. When we truly encounter the Messiah, our true nature is revealed...and we are laid bare.

*** ...grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him."; verse 40: This is about all we get about Jesus age 1 week-12 years or so...but oh how we should all be praying for the same for us and our kids!

Questions for myself:

Am I seeking to truly be completely influenced by God's Spirit? Or even as Tony Evans put it (and I heard on the radio last night) and David Crowder's song of this same title says, "intoxicated" by it? Do I talk myself out of what God wants from me in the name of being "prudent"? If I do try to be open to the Spirit...do I pray for wisdom and discernment so I can better judge what is God...and what is not? Ultimately, do I have the, um, juevos to do what God asks, even if others around (including well-meaning friends) think it's crazy?

Trying to Change the Dreaded Words: "Hold On"

2008-11-20T10:49:00.001-06:00

As I continue the journey of being the best husband and father I can be, I have felt especially convicted to be more aware of two words I've made too much a part of my vocabulary for my ENTIRE LIFE (mom and dad can attest...): "Hold on"...

I say those words like crazy. I'm surfing the web, and asked to do something..."hold on"...and the request doesn't happen for like an hour (if at all). I know it has bugged my parents for years, and my wife since we've been married, but I guess I had too much pride (and selfishness, really) to think it was that big a deal. And then you have a kid...start seeing the behavior in them...and begin to go, "Gee, that's kind of annoying! I asked you to start cleaning your mess and you said, 'Hang on Daddy', so you could finish racing your cars...for another 20 minutes...I don't like that attitude!"

Oh crud.

That's me.

So, I've been praying for some attitude change here. Now, some things truly are important and I need to be allowed to finish them (like a couple nights ago when I was frantically trying to finish cooking dinner and if I were to leave my post, stuff would burn...and momma was in the kitchen baking as well, so dang it, Jax needed to wait), and in those instances I am trying to say, "Just a minute, I need to finish ______ first", instead of just a generic, "Hold on!"

But beyond that, as a parent with the goal of modeling good attitudes/behavior to my child, I must, MUST seek humility, ask the hard question, "Where am I at fault by modeling this behavior I wish to change in my son?", and be selfless enough to ask God to change my heart. So, I am praying for the selflessness to stop saying "hold on" so much, especially when I truly am doing NOTHING (like, surfing the web mindlessly, watching Sportscenter, etc.), and just get up and complete the requested task.

Now, don't think I wish to be taken advantage of, either. I also need to pay attention to myself and if I am truly POOPED OUT, and others can help me do the task, I need to lovingly say, "Honey, can you do it for me? I really need to just sit and chill for a bit..." The key is moderation...

Pondering Romans 8:18-27

2008-11-19T09:40:00.004-06:00

Romans 8:18-27 (NIV)

18I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21that[a] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
22We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

Footnotes:
Romans 8:21 Or subjected it in hope. 21 For

Words, phrases, etc., that stuck out:

*** "...our present sufferings are not worth comparing...", middle of verse 18: I think I am often guilty of a "lack of true perspective" at times when I think about my struggles, start whining and complaining, etc. So our present crud a) is not worth comparing to all the Lord has gone through on our behalf...and when we don't deserve it, and b) NONE of it compares to the amazing wonder in store for us in Eternity...the tough thing is that our human minds can't comprehend it, so we aren't as "excited" as we should be!

*** The word "groaning" pops up a lot: I personally like that Paul (writer of this passage) acknowledges that both we have "groanings", and that they aren't dismissed as worthless. Let's be real: sometimes there IS really rough stuff going on in our lives, and it isn't to be taken with a flippant attitude.

*** The word "hope" pops up a lot: I think the word hope is a word we throw around a bunch, but like Jefe says to El Guapo in the fine arthouse film, "The Three Amigos", when Guapo keeps using the word plethora, "I do not think it means what you think it means." The sidebar discussion in my Bible seems to imply that most folks that the word hope to mean something more like "wishful thinking". Wow. I am sooooo guilty of that. Instead of treating hope as a certainty, a true belief that God is who he says he is, that he keeps promises, has saved me, has a grand plan for my life, etc., often I just treat all of it like wishful thinking...just wondering if it is all really true. And I should know better, as God has proved himself time and time again to me so much in life. My hope should be built on those things, not this crazy lack of faith I too often cultivate!

*** "But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?"---end of verse 24: Wow. Good slam there! While I do think our hope can be "born" out of past experiences...they cannot be our true hope. We need to, if we truly believe, have a hope in things we can't see, feel, or prove with a math equation...

*** "...the Spirit intercedes...", middle of verse 27: How cool is that? When we don't know what to say, or how to "articulate" things to God when we need to experience his might...his Spirit knows and takes care of it all. Nice.

Questions, ponderings, etc.

Do I have a real hope? Or, is it only wishful thinking? I need real faith and belief...